ive been cutting my self – doing drugs for awhile now basically quit them both for about 2 weeks and to be honest ive never felt worse anyways more to the point my grandad recently died i kind of hoped that this would scare me idk to make me relies how much pain i would cause people if i died .. but it dident i have allready tryed to commit sucide twice.i suprised my self at the furinel (ime dislexic that why almost everyting is misspelt ) becouse i cryed a bit the reason this suprised me wos becouse i thought i wos dead on […]
I am doing this because there is a small part of me that doesn’t want to die. The rest of me is sure that this gun sitting in my lap is the answer for all my problems. Being born from day one with a debilitatingmedical condition is one thing but it time and time again hurting me holding me back, making me lame and weird growing up and a psycho into adult-hood is about all I can take. After finding my insurance canceled me as a client and won’t re-consider the same week I find out I am going to need surgery is the last […]
The entire fabricated lie that people believe is transparent to me. I know that i’m not alone in my vision of the truth, but it often times feels that way. I believe this is just another systematic attempt by the powers that be, to remove any possible threats to the status quo.
Regardless of why, the fact is that i feel like dying most every day. I’m a socially retarded fear based being. I don’t value the things that the masses do, thereby effectively isolating myself from everything and everyone.
If i didn’t know love, then i’d be dead by now. the only thing keeping […]
Ever had that feeling you just gotta get out your body you just gotta tell someone. Should I tell someone confused.
I’m in a strange mood. Â I would almost say a good mood, but I feel that’s misleading. It’s not that my suicidal desires are gone, but that they’re simply pushed back in my mind. Â I know it’s a bad idea to self-diagnose, but moods like this make me wonder if I could be bipolar. Â I feel like my current mood could be described as a hypomanic episode. Â For instance, even though I only had maybe four hours of sleep last night, I feel energetic. I want to go out and do something. Â If I had friends I’d call them up and maybe we’d go to […]
I went a week without burning…then i just did it again…i love it way too much
Yea I’m sure there will be few to shred some tears over me but I am such a disapointment I actually would be doing them a favor..see I on other people because I’m such a fuck up I always ruin everything and I can see the look on peoples faces..they wish they could get rid of me..I see I’m nothing but a burden. Wat hurts the most is I have a child. A beautiful 3 years old princess. But I can’t afford tip take care of her I know in the future she will be so hurt and you probably say how can you […]
I just want to be with him again.
he was the only one that really got it.
why do i have to be here,
and not there?
why couldnt i have stuck up
to our suicide pact?
i hate myself, i really do.
i hope i die.
i want to shoot myself so badly.
why did he have to leave me
here and make me suffer
so much? i wish
i could just find one other
person that cares and
wont let me go…
Today at school, I found out a boy commited suicide last night. He was a year older than me but i saw him frequently in the hallway. I am very shocked to know that this boy was hurting so bad that he felt he needed to do this. He seemed to be always smiling! I know that people are going to talk for months on end about him. I can already hear “was it that kid that had no friends?” Why must people be so cruel? I did not know this boy but i feel like i could of prevented his death. “Only if..” Are the […]
I’m numb, and dying inside,
i take my anger out on my wrists.
i hate myself for it.
i wish i would just die already,
the blood is dripping to slowly,
i feel like i can only make people
happy if im gone…. i guess this is it.
There is absolutly no reason to live anymore. i just want to die.
no one would even care if i died.
i wish i wasnt so numb.
im taking pill after pill to make myself feel normal everday,
but i just cant do it anymore.
there is just an emptiness that nothing can fill.
all of the drugs in the world couldnt fill it….
im done.
Hi.. my history is not really about suicide, but i went very close to that, and sometimes i still think about it, but i know i wont succeed.
Sorry for my english, my main lenguague is portuguese, and i’ll try my best here to express my feelings, or whatever this is.
I mean i dont feel nothing about the world, i dont feel nothing, really, i just try to picture myself in every kind of life and i just dont get excited about anything, i look around and i picture big zeros, like nothing matters.
Everything can happen to me, that i wont care.
I get angry all the […]
Life seems to be getting harder and harder to live. Emotionally I feel destroyed. Sometimes I don’t think that I can go on. I feel like my life is a mess because of the decisions that I have made. It hurts so bad. I have a young son that depends on me. He needs me but I feel worthless. I don’t think I can take anymore heartbreak, nor do I want to. I havn’t felt joy in so long. My depression stays with me day and night. I feel like the walking dead and that I’m being punished or something. I want to live […]
for about 5 years now i have had a struggle with depression, and only in the past 2 years or so have people found out about it. i’ve attempted to kill myself several times but never found the strangth to do it.
when people first found out about my depression they where absolutely shocked. It didn’t make sense to them, i was always the one helping other people with their problems. Hell i wanted to be a social worker or child psychologist for the sole reason of helping people with those problems. But now…. now everything just looks bleak.
today after a fairly minor argument […]
No one really cares at the end. of it all. Everyday I wake up I wish to die. Of course I want to do it in a painless way. I heard if you jump like off a cliff your body passes out so thats a good one..right? Or overdose on perkasets because I heard it stop your breathing and you go in a peacful sleep
I want this more than anything to die. Please leave a comment. My only fear is that I will live this horrible life.
So back to the me showinq my social worker my scars.Well now I showed my scars to my caseworker and he’s basically tellinq me that If I’m not qoinq to the hospital that I should qo to depression meetinq’s/qroups If there Is any.Do any of yall attend qroups for depresion?I really wanna qo so I can qo back to school and learn Instead of start smokinq In the morninq.Next week I’m qoinq to see my theropist to see any other alternatives.So to my oriqinal question does anyone qo any depression qroups???
It’s like the evidence is cared for, and evidently clear. I’ll never leave this dance floor and I’ll never leave you here.
I’m so alone, I really want to go back to old habits. i don’t really know why?
All i know is that my razorblade would look so good in my wrist right now, i’ve been quite depressed lately? i don’t know why…. i thought things were getting better. maybe they are but i just can’t see it…i really need help. But if you ask me that i would probably deny it, i have such a big thing about germs at themoment, my brother is ill so im terrified to be around him….
I Can’t Cope With This Anymore….:/
<3.
I remember the cold knife under my throat. I remember the masked man on top of me, thrusting, panting and his red eyes, forcing me to look at him all the time. I remember the hysterical laughter after it happened, when I went to see my friends. This date no one knows about it except of the shrink. I am now a twisted 25 year old woman/girl.. still fighting the demons and oh so willing to give up.
It all happned 3 days prior to my 18th birthday. Somewhere not far from home, where the water is always cool during summer and shady places. Somewhere I […]
I just feel so alone now. No one listens to me and they just dismiss my problems. I’ve never felt this hurt before, i’m actually feeling physical pain now. I hate myself and the way i look and everything about me. I wish that i could just help everyone out and just dissappear. i cry every day now and it’s just steadily getting worse. I cryed today at school, i just broke down and couldn’t stop. I try to hold everything inside and the more i hold in the worse i feel. I can’t take this anymore. I feel like everything is closing in on […]
I’m not going to kill myself, but everyday I wake up and hope today will be the day I finally get to die.