It filled me to the brim with emotion, it was the last out of six random compliments i got on that day even though i woke up depressed.

It funny because i wake up smiling every morning and im happy, and then the day is just sad. But yesterday i woke up on the wrong side of the Bread and just felt like shit.

Then it was euphoria =]]             It was amazing to hear that someone feels like i am God. I didn’t stop smiling for a while.

I’m so angry.  Angry to the core.  No one understands.  No one listens.  I am holding on by a dwindling string.  I told my dad and my close family friend about my problems.  My mother told me I was being foolish and made a mistake by sharing my situation with my father.  He wants to drag me to memphis, a very unhealthy place for me since a dysfunctional childhood there which i can never escape when i go.  I don’t have anywhere to go.  I can’t go to memphis, it would kill me slowly.  I can’t stay here, it is killing me quickly.  I can’t […]

It seems like anymore when i try to reach out for help they sll just say it will get better i promise. I even have a friend who struggles with depression and all she ever seems to tell me is it will get better. Idk if anything will really make me feel better but telling me it will get better over and over is driving me insane and making me want to cut off communication with evreyone i know.

Two Japanese movies concerning life and death.

Suicide Club just covers a general ideas and people and Noriko’s Dinner Table gets deeper into the ideas and mainly covers a family.  At first it seemed like a totally new approach but within a short time I figured out it was just a new expression of old ideas.

It was rather interesting to me for purely entertainment value as well because I own quite a few Japanese/Korean/Chinese horror/suspense movies and am used to the flow of it.  May wierd some people out but if you are in the mood for something different and you have never viewed this genre, try […]

Hey, I’m Zoe. Im 15 years old. When you look at me you would think I’m happy. I have friends. A boyfriend. It’s an okay life as of now I suppose. But due to my past, I’m going through severe clinical depression. I have an addiction to cutting. I have for about 4 years. It stuck with me even when times were getting better. They put me on zoloft.
The first time I attempted suicide, I was 11. Why? I was sick of being bullied because I was overweight. So it started out with eating disorders. Bulimia. Then I started reading poetry. And writing. […]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL4YceTBxz8&feature=g-all-u&context=G23399f5FAAAAAAAAMAA
“Babe, you’re so complicated
The way you’re putting me down
And when we go out with your friends
You act like you don’t want me around
And I get so frustrated
Of everything ended in a fight
Why bring out the candle
When you don’t even care to see the light

And every time you make me cry
Every time you make me cry
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little bit more
And every time we started to fight
We never seem to get it right
And every time you make me cry
I love you a little […]

Feeling really lonely.
If anyone would like to chat please email me.
Or if anyone needs anyone to talk to, don’t hesitate!

im_a_goofy_gooba_yeah@hotmail.com

(hate my email but i’ve had it for like 12 years and can’t be bothered changing it, deal)

Back in August, ,my sweet younger brother was diagnosed with complication of the intestine. He was then due to constantly have to have bowel movements from a colostomy bag and eat trough a tube. This boy, until then, had collected a teaching degree and was on his way to gradutate with a nursing degree that peaked his interest due to his own illness. Brilliant as he was , knowing the civil war inside and out, a plethora of friends,a beautiful but down to earth girlfriend,no one saw it coming. ONe moring he checked himself out of the hospital, went to my […]

I always keep putting things off. I am so scared of what can happen that I keep things bottled up until they get really bad. I wish I had someone to comfort me and hold me and tell me it will be alright. Sometimes I feel like just running away. This money proble, is eating me alive.

Mainly again to the youth because their stories are just so harsh. And they usually can do nothing but be victimized because they are not old enough to legally leave, not able to sustain themselves, or the authority personnel will not or cannot help them.

Which means their lives consist of what others do to them. And they have no recourse except to just sit there and take it. Even through their efforts of trying to escape or get the situation handled better.

The reason I am aiming at the kids is that many of us adults have caused our own problems. That does not exempt us […]

Hey everyone, I want people to join my facebook group for people who feel “out of place, or unloved, or ignored totally.”

Hit me upand join my group if you like

the group is called Moving Forward

and my name is Nia Braithwaite

 I am the Nia with the tulips or yellow flowers

There is nothing wrong with being suicidal, but acting on it is.
It is okay to want to die!!
But just know, you prob, feel that way because ou felt unloved or hated by the world, but we have each other.
And, you know what screw the world.
If you think about it some people in the world who arenot suicidal are more messed up than us.
It’s ok
We just have to know our lives aren’t just for us, we love for Jesus and truth and love and all things good, but if you don’t believe that you can die!
And you may not […]

The whole concept of the “individual” is false. You are not one person who is cut off from a whole. You are apart of a systematic process – and the total purpose of this process is to move forward. The output of this process is a STORY. But heres the thing: this story has already been told!! There are billions of stories out there which are basically just the outputs of various processes in the universe.

Relationships, concepts, beliefs, feelings, emotions, standards, thoughts, opinions, etc are just apart of the process. There is no room for the “individual” in all of this. You are here […]

Emo rain is emo days
endless nights drown in tidal waves
the countless cuts i’ve drawn have stayed
but they never keep the pain away

blame the road most traveled by
the happy give an awkward eye
the dead have understood the pain
But they say im too young to die

few can understand the cost
my life i give for love thats lost
so cold here in afterlife
cold, my heart, consumed by frost

back below where i belong
let my wrists bleed the final song
and when i die before i wake
I hope that he just carries on
let him have peace when i am gone…

why can’t I be the pretty one?
the one who’s naturally funny
the one with the long hair
the one who is popular and everyone likes
the one who has the best clothes
the one who has relationships that last longer than a month
the one who gets good grades without even trying
the one that all the guys want and talk to
the one that has friends
the one who isn’t socially awkward
the one who doesn’t get bullied
the one who is always nice
the one that’s never bullied someone before
the one who gets everything they want
the one who doesn’t have […]

In my self-righteous suicide.

I cry..cause when he calls me “Angel” I want to die.

Guess how that made me feel.

I’m 22 and I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember (apart from a few months
where I was generally happy). I’ve had 7 counsellors in my time and I’ve told each and
everyone of them exactly how I feel, how long I have felt it and how I see the world. But
each time they have either done very little, put me on meds (which actually brought me
closer to killing myself) or simply tell me that they just can’t help. I got to say, I do feel
like no one can help. Which I think is a reasonable response.

I’ve come to a point where I realise […]

my cutts my pain. no one notices. no one cares. thats good. but its like a disease.. its spreading. and its an addiction.
my friend could carelesss. her new friend .. gives me dirty looks. sorry for speaking my mind? i like to speak my mind.. even when i should keep things to myself. but this is wat bullying did to me.. im now me. because of those kids.. im mean. and sentimental. i like being mean. it gives me power.  im always smiling and laughing. but inside… inside WE ARE ALL DYING… i cant sleep sometimes. i go to sleep crying. i dnt believe […]

Before attempting suicide, give yourself a month to do everything you want, no matter what people say. If everything fails, who cares? You were going to die anyway, so have some fun before it happens.

Here goes a silly song but truly inspirational. I’m just doing it, and hell, things are changing indeed!

Copacabana Club – Just do it