i thought about suicide i almost tired i wrote the letters to the ones i think that would actually care if i died but it doesnt matter my bestfriend loves my ex that i still love i try to put a smile on so they can have a happy life. a couple months and we will be going to different school and maybe the pain will stop it wont matter because he made me fall for him i did this a time before and it ended the same way and i found out that he just used me. i sit hear and wonder does anyone care or do […]
I died. I actually died this time. I was dead at 11:11 pm. My heart stopped beating. And the bastards revived me. A stomach pump, activated charcoal treatment, and psychotherapy assessment later, I’m laying here in a hospital bed. Again. They let me keep my iPod, since it qualifies as therapeutic for me. I just…can’t believe it didn’t work. Im a failure at life and a failure at dying. God. Damn. It. All. Why am I still alive?
“Small, simple, safe price
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals
And i am not afraid to die
Im not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment
Whats left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
i feel like im the one always saying sorry
i didnt mean to cause it
i was just being myself
im sorry if im not fake like her
im sorry if i cry
im sorry im not important
im sorry she had suregy
while i sit every night in pain
knowing there nothing the doc can do
but it wont matter i have my knife on my wrist
and i feel okay
just thought i’d ask.
hey, guess what! i thought up some more!
AtTheEnd and those apples….
hippies
Woodstock
yum. tea.
popcorn
churros
chinese food
that feeling in the air after a nice storm of cleanliness and fresh beginnings
knowing y’all care
some nice lightning displays
those adorable couples who hug each other in public
my butterflies
singing in the rain
giving others hope
donating hair
tweeting #MyRaysOfSunshine for all to see! (y’all should join in! let’s make it a trending topic!)
receiving texts
emails, too!
oooo, and i LOVE getting letters in the mail!
that’s all for now, folks! y’all come back now, ya here?
When i was a kid, i thought i was happy. I always got good grades, had tons of friends, never fought with my parents. I loved life. Do you guys remember those days? When you called everyone your best friend and the biggest secret you kept was your moms christmas present. Im in high school now and i have one person that i consider a best friend, although were forbidden to acknowledge eachother in public, and more secrets than i can count. I feel like its even more dramatic how out of control my life has gotten because of my age and even more because of how […]
Sometimes it’s easier to speak to someone you don’t know and we all need someone to talk to… so here’s my e-mail to anybody who needs someone to talk to. I’ll try to check it as often as i can, and I reply to everyone and anything you say is absolutely and extremely confidential. Absolutely no judgement and I’ll try my best to help you in any way that I can. You’re all valuable and worth saving. So please if you need someone to speak to, I’m here for you as well as many people on this site, so do not hesitate. You’re my sunshine, […]
i acutally thought working and having a job would make things easier for me. But its actually not. it actually just makes me want to continue on with my plan. It just wont be march 31st it would probaly be at the end of june or before graduation. I got the job so i can save up money and run away….then just kill myself. im just tired in every way there is.
i find my self asking why alot i have dreams of my dad from wen i watched him dienext to me in the car and everytime i awake i wanna kill my self!wat do i do?
Hmm… Is this madness? I have been happy all day and suddenly I feel as if I have been stabbed in the gut with a searing hot blade, and I feel like blowing shit out of proportions.
Oh, but no, I am not a mad man. Madness would not be titled upon someone as composed as myself. I am a little ***** who hides beneath the blankets of society every time I hear the nasty growl of the beast. I cut myself to bleed. I cut myself to know that I am real. I cut myself to shed blood to show people what I am capable […]
Nothing can be created or destroyed, Just transformed from one form of energy into another, the very law that governs life as we know it.
So if nothing is ever destroyed, does that mean our soul/ our conscience is recycled, Because according to the smartest men who have ever lived nothing can be destroyed. So Can we truly die, or do we just join the dirt from whence we came. Is the universe one big living thing.
Cool huh!
I am a 39 year old woman. I have a roof over my head, four cats who love me and a fiance who begs me to move here from my home in Albany. I long to be a part of a family again. WE are both addicts though and I fear this will be done in vain. Im not sure what’s worse though…going home to my empty apt. where my children don’t live due to my depression, it’s dirty as I have given up the desire to clean, I don’t wash the way I did, make up and professional haircuts don’t […]
about year and a half ago today, i was still traveling ireland. I was in strandhill in co mayo, its build on the beach and is one of the best surf spots in all of ireland, I managed to hitch a ride there with some lovely polish girls and arrived at about 5:30 or dawn anyway.
I walked down onto the beach and just sat back and relaxed, i just let the sound of the ways breaking off the beach block out all other noise and i was for a time at peace. A perfect moment.
Suddenly a girl sits down next to me. about my age, […]
It was so lonely
in the cold and dark
and life will continue
when your gone
but you wont regret it
will you?
there will be those that dont give a shit
or care even a little bit
but
i’ll always care about you
whoever you are
wherever you are
i’ll always be there for you
throughout the cold and the dark.
Me
Time
Sadness
Depression
Love
Pointlessness
War
Anger
Hate
Life
Depression
Everything
Acting
Time
Hate
[YoU]
I can’t stop adjusting and adjusting my glasses, they never feel comfortable i never feel satisfied
i realize this is probably all in my head, any advice to how i can stop worrying about them