i recently discovered this site. i find myself drawn to read through multiple pages of all your stories. my life has been hard and i can relate to alot of u, others not so much, but i feel sad for all that u have been through. know that i care about u, some of your stories leave me in tears, and i would be sad if u were gone

And want to die. All my life i felt like an alien. I saw people of my age laugh, play, enjoy the life but despite being very smart (in math, computers, many technical subjects) i am depressed all the time. I am doing everything alone. I have wanted to have friends, but could not find people who have the same set of interests as mine. Being an extreme introvert is not useful in a world where extroversion and socializtion is dominant. I wish i was not born. Every night i pray to God to die in my sleep but of course this will not happen […]

Do you hear the rain
cracking against my window?
The stormy clouds
that cover my mind.
The antidepressants
all over the counter.
I lost what i used to know
the feeling of enjoyment
that use to brighten my day.
My friends
i knew and love
that walk out in my life.
The lover i trust
who pack his bags and left.
I trap in my own room
the walls are closing in.
Feeling like…
im trap in a box.
No one is here
to smooth my troubles.
No one is here
to hear my cries.
No one is here…
to tell me…
i will stay […]

I’ve been depressed for a few years now i’d say… and I have not ever felt this terrible for this long. I don’t understand why I do not enjoy my life. I have a decent social life, my family is always helpful, and I feel that i’m ungrateful for feeling this way. I’m 17 now, I just got my license a two months ago, and I felt more free. And it seems that when something good happens to me, it lightens things up somewhat, but I still feel down. I had told this girl that I really liked last night how I felt about her, […]

i’ve cut myself since i was 11(i’ll b 17 in 6 days). its of course gotten “worse” since then. but i just wanna know if anyone else cuts themselves. im tired of being called sick because i find solace in a blade. does anyone else feel the same? i need someone whos going thru what i am. i hope we can continue to tlk, cuz i need someone i can identify with

Being as this is a site for those contemplating suicide and the fact that many suicides are unsuccessful due to the sadistic medical community that wishes to imprison us in this plane of existence.

I am proud to announce the inaugural National DNR Month to encourage all dissidents of this world to fill out their own DNR (AND) orders to prevent the tragic intervention of  an exit from this hell by the medical community.

A sample DNR from Florida to give everyone an idea of what one looks like.  Check your local state website for the appropriate forms and take one to your local doctor today!

(Be sure […]

I’m slowly losing my mind, and I don’t even know why.

Watching you slipping is taking its toll on me. I thought I was regaining stability, regaining the will to live; but last night I realized that I’m slipping again. I haven’t cut/burned myself in a while–I don’t know how long it’s been because I was never one to keep track of those sorts of things–but lately I’ve had the urge to go back–because I can’t stand to watch you do this to yourself–

Stop it, stop the drug abuse, stop the self-starvation, stop the all-nighters, just stop it–I wish you understood how much it all hurts […]

I’m fucked. I’m damned if i do. (cause i will be dead. I don’t want to be dead.) Ok it will hurt my family. But i’m really thinking about me. (selfish i know.) But they will get over it. I think it’s the guilt thing. (If you kill your self people.) (Family will feel guilty about it. Blame them self’s.) They would easy get over my death.And understand why i’ve taking my life. (I hope anyway.)  But they would feel guilty. Prob find that hard. So my suicide note. Has to kind to make sure that they don’t feel guilty. My family are shit. And i do blame them. […]

Why did you bring me back? I had finally succeeded. I was dead, but you brought me back!

Society forces me to thank you, but I hate you inside. To them you’re a hero, but to me you’re the one who brought me back to a life of pain and missery.
You should have known that this place is not for me! With every breath and every compression on my chest you should have noticed the scars on my wrist screaming at your to stop…stop trying to bring me back!
You heard my cries once I was back…you heard me cry out “WHY….why would you […]

Last night I tried to kill myself. It was silent and it was sad. I wrote no letters explaining why or apologizing. I only signed goodbye on a pink scrap of paper, opened the pills, shoved them down my throat, and sighed. Then I sat and waited for Death. I wanted to greet him with a smile, take his hand, and murmur my thanks for coming so swiftly. Instead Sleep came first, a blissful cover for me to slip away. Because I doubted I could meet Death without trembling. So Sleep wrapped me in her arms and held me close.

It seems as though Sleep protected […]

I want help. I do not want to die.. I often feel like I need to but if I really wanted to that blade could have found it’s rightful place 5,000 different times. Not an exaggeration. Cutting seems like nothing though, not compared to food. It’s easy to not push hard enough, to miss the vein. It’s a whole lot easier though, to starve to death.
I know this is mostly for depression (which I have, and always have had, an endless amount of) and immediate suicidal wishes but whatever. Too bad. What’s so different about me puking myself to death? Five pounds down a […]

I have never posted before, but I have been reading others posts for a few months now.  I wish I would have found this website a long time ago.  I was diagnosed four years ago with Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features. I have been depressed and had suicidal thoughts since my early teen years (I am now 35 years old). I have tried every medication and combination of meds for the past four years and nothing has helped my suicidal thoughts.  The sad part is I am a high functioning person to the outside word (two college degrees, successful elementary teacher, etc.; however I am single and […]

I’m done. I’m so done. I quit. I feel so flat. I’m pumped with all these meds. I do what they tell me and I’m done. The heaviness. The sadness. The shadows. I’ve researched and practiced and decided on my plan. I’ve mimed and worked out the problems. It just has to look like an accident so as to ease my family’s emotional recovery. Why? You ask why? Because it would solve so much. It would take away so many problems. I could rest. I could just be.

My […]

First of all I’m so so tired of crying. So so tired. A couple of years ago my sweet husband decided to end his life and leave my daughter and I behind. I miss you so much:( I wish I could turn back time and tell you how much we love you and care for you. Life will never be the same without you. We are left with huge holes in our hearts and souls without you. I never understood your depression and pain until now. I finally get it. How desperately I want the pain to go away. How do I explain this to […]

I’m utterly sick of this world.  Why is it, that everyone wants life to be perfect and free of pain, and yet that is never the reality?  Life seems like a cruel joke.  It makes us want to reproduce and pass on the pain of living, where it seems the only escape from that pain is to find a mate and raise kids.  What if it’s all a sick trick to keep us trapped in this cycle? 

Why does the universe even exist in the first place?  Who are we really?  What are we?  I swear that I never want to return to this universe EVER […]

Charm, Sociability, A good mind, Why’d you put me on this planet if you couldn’t give me any of these? Your my biggest enemy from now until i’m in my grave, I’ve given you lots of chances to show why you’ve chosen me as the guinea pig for your sick rituals above…You’ve obviously forgotten about me, So whatever i do from now on, Your responsibe, Only then you might finally learn that granting life is NOT a game.

So I started cutting for the first time. I don’t like that I have resorted to cutting but there is something about it that I like. I only use scissors not anything deep. It still hurts but I don’t really want to stop. I feel like its the only thing I can control in my life. No one knows I cut I am just making sure I wear long sleeves so no one sees. Cutting seems like a warmup for suicide. Idk I think it helps me deal with my suicidal thoughts better. Does anyone else cut and feel like you have some mental clearity […]

So my mother chooses to ignore the fact that i have depression, she tries to ignore the fact that i used to cut myself, and ever since i stopped (for her sake, not mine) my life has become harder.

We are moving to a rental house until our new house is built. And i asked her if my boyfriend (The only person that still helps me through life and supports me through everyday) would be able to come live with us, since we’d be moving more than an hour away. This would be the only way we could rent since the rent split four ways is […]

Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..

So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…

I don’t even know where to begin but here it goes my name is Martin Lopez and I haven’t been on here in a while.. Because what I had that made me the happiest guy I could ever be has left me. So I met this girl four years ago on an online game we talked for a bit and she had a bf which didn’t treat her that well, they got in a fight and I was there by her side to comfort her. Then things started getting better we started talking texting and talking on the phone. We were both so happy and […]