I’m killing myself in a few minutes. This life is too much to handle. I can’t keep going like this, alone. And I am alone. Sure, I have friends and family, but I’m isolated. So much that I can barely remember what it’s like to have those, to have the support of my friends, to have that actual friendship. The feeling someone cares. I can’t… I don’t want to keep living. My life… is nothing. Nothing more than heartbreak after heartbreak. I’m surprised the pieces can still feel enough to keep getting hurt.

I am hurting, more than I ever thought I could. I can’t take […]

i guess i’ve wondered what people who succeeded on here posted last. did they just stop posting? or say goodbye. I’d rather the latter, I only want to say if i succeed tonight, or over the weekend, that i apreciate everything people have said on here. and i wish everyone on here the best, in whatever you choose, and i hope you do think and make the right decisions.

This is going to be quite a large vent, maybe it’ll help sort things out.

Issue 1.

Pissed off. One of our friends, Lets call her Zoan, has litterally fucked us all over. She’s talked about all of us behind our backs, she’s been a hypocrite, and she’s tried to break a couple up within out circle of friends. Everyone despises her. Thing is, she’s having family issues, and she supposedly cut herself. What the fuck am I supposed to do, if it’s fake, and I go back to her, she’ll do everything all over again. But if it’s not fake. I’ll have another friend who self […]

I’m not a hateful person.  I was abused when I was a kid, went through an abusive relationship with an ex boyfriend but I don’t hate any of those people.  I don’t hate anyone.  I actually like people.  I think most people are beautiful, actually, just like I think that the world can be a beautiful place.  People think I’m kind and intelligent and I don’t doubt that I am.  I’m nice to everyone.  I’ve gotten good grades in school.  I’m just not happy.  I’m a classic example of that type of person who’s always smiling but is actually hurting on some serious level.

People think […]

Feel like shit.

Fucked up again. Now a friend hates me. My friend keeps showing me her latest cuts like it’s something to brag about. I’ve been feeling the ”urges” again. Going out didn’t help.

Little problems that just smash me down.

Hope you are fine,
Just wanted to tell you, that I have not forgotten you or Sage
Hope you guys are good, the thought you 3(include little creature that I love)
were typeing away with your little fingers, when I was down, just give me
this energy to live, wish I could take you guys all away to a happier place
with me, but if you hold on long enough who know I might.
I love you guys hope you are all okay
If you see the moon send a kiss to it, she will kiss me on your behalf.

T

Today, I want to die. I have tried to walk/jog, and distract myself. Its not working. My now ex boyfriend was cheating on me for the entire relationship of almost a year.  I found out when the woman contacted me to tell me what was going on.  Of course he denies it but more and more lies are coming out. I can’t take the hurt anymore. I was cursed from the day I was born. My father wants nothing to do with me. He has another family and doesn’t acknowledge I exist. I was abused by my stepfather sexually until he got me pregnant at […]

What happens when you love life so much? When you love the little things about life, about the people you love, about the beautiful things that happen everyday… but you don’t want to live it anymore? How does that happen? How is that fair? How can a person forget all of the good things in this world, and only see how terrible it can be? How can someone that was nice and peaceful turn into someone so hateful? And how can the person she hates the most be herself? How can she look in the mirror and resent […]

It’s something we all know about but mine has been a little to much to handle recently.
When I was younger, I learned this really cool trick to turn off my emotions. Sounds weird but it works, or it used to. I went on for years, a shell of my own existence. No one suspected a thing. I’d mimic the feelings of others when appropriate, as not to let my own feelings show. I was afraid if I let myself feel, I’d be stuck in the memories without escape. And now it’s come true.
I’m in college with remarkable grades; I should be content with […]

I hate my mom. I have this rage when it comes to my mom. She walks into the same room as me and want to leave. The thought of her disgusts me. I have no reason to hate her but she bothers me. I can’t stand her I don’t know why please help.

Howdy my name is phill. Im allway’s thinking about it. Ending it

where am i?

how did i get here?

i think i came by choice..

so why cant i leave by choice?

why do you keep me here;

keep me in my prison.

why do i miss them so much?

why did i ever leave them?

and what about the ones that left me?

the people i left; the people that left me

they equal up to everyone

everyone that matters… mattered

it makes no sense

my life is dazy haze of clutter

step into the clutter; you will find

a thousand needles prick you like knives.

mostly it hurts.

i lied.

it always hurts.

Who is that?

That person staring from the shiny surface

Of every item she’s ever seen

The pretty girl, with short brown hair

Her eyes are huge, so curious

You’d never know she was a mess

Fingers sliding down a mirror

Searching for a bit of pink

But her face is perfect

Leaning across a hollow sink

Not one trace of bitter tears

On her face so ivory pale

You’d think her flawless

The girl everyone wants to be

Gliding gracefully through gleaming halls

She’s radiant, due to confidence

But she’s not happy

She’s not free

Her exterior is false

Her broken pieces almost falling apart

She wants to rip through her skin

Tearing, tearing with nails like claws

Her fragile insides fading to dust

Then maybe she […]

I want it over.

I don’t give a fuck how it happens.

Just, please.

Please, take me.

By my hand,

Or someone else’s.

Just let the suffering.

Pain.

Torture.

Life.

Drain from me.

Let me fall into that everlasting sleep.

Just please.

Fucking take me.

The more you care, and the more you try to be a nice person. The less the world cares about you. A honest person in our world gets nothing but pain and misery. While the liars and selfish get nothing but pleasure. Why is the world we live in like this? Why even try to be a good person when you know that nobody will appricate it in the end. Why the harder you try to make the world a better place for others, does it become worse?

I’m spending the night at my dads tonight..

I went to a movie before I came here.

I didn’t know I was gonna come staight here.

I don’t have my blades.

I can not, will not, handle this.

I’m going insane not thinking about cutting.

i don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I hate it, I HATE IT, when you’re trying to organize something, and people don’t tell you if they can come or not until the last fucking second.

I know this is kind of a stupid topic for a suicide forum, but hear me out. This is pissing me off for a long long time now.

I’ve been planning on doing this short film on youtube with a few people for like… literally a year now. It’s nothing much, just a 20 minute thing that will take only a day to film. But since I finished the fucking thing in august of last year, I’ve never been […]