I used to feed these cats across the street. I got them spayed and neutered. I fed them for 10 years and the man took the key away. Now the cats are starving. They are known as feral. They do not know how to hunt. I am sad for them trying to help them. I will someway. I am sad and scared. I am scared all the time. Im not sure why I am so scared all the time. Maybe it is my father who used to hit me all the time when I […]
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35 Years
I can’t remember when I haven’t felt like I am  just waking up because I have to. If it was physically possible just to continue to sleep – I would. I hate facing the day. I drive home hurt and scared and angry every day. I fail as a wife, I fail at being what I feel I should at my job…I am a burden of misery to my best friend whom I ***** to every day. She moves to Germany soon and I know our friendship will fade away. Every day is the same. Most nights during the week I just cry myself to sleep.
People keep […]
I’m a loser,no job,no talent,no friends,no family,never had someone really love me it was all fake. All I am doing is existing I am not living I have felt this way since eight years old when I lost a pet bird and realize how life is so short and things around you die and leave pain behind. I truly want to not exist any longer…. too many things have gone wrong in my life and I cannot erase or ignore this darkness that has taken over me and follows me everywhere. Why does the world look at people like me as insane or crazy or […]
I was a sad little girl. Â 35 years later, I’m a sad little girl who’s been on just about every medication possible. Â They all stop working after a few years.
I’ve never really had a relationship. Â I’m not sure what’s so unappealing. Â Maybe my sadness is more obvious than I think. Â Men don’t even pay attention to me. Â They never have. Â Having cute bubbly friends doesn’t help. Â My mother has nagged me about my weight since high school when I started gaining weight from the antidepressants.
I have a job and an education. Â I live in a rented 2 bedroom house that is much too big […]
Wow, its been a long 35 years. This story started along time before I was born. Lets start with a US Marine who had one too many tours in vietnam, my mothers stepfather( my spelling is really bad sorry) Not sure if it ws the war or just an inate evil, the man that is still alive, did horrible things to my mother and my aunt. My mother and father were married in in the early 70s thing were great for both of them until 1980, my dad recked his truck on the way homefrom work, broke his neck, never walked again, full quad, they […]