i am a type 1 diabetic who has scoliosis of the spine. I am actually allergic to insulin and it is extremely painful to take also i have my back condition which causes me severe pain. I am 16 years old but i have suicidal thoughts everyday i have attempted to commit suicide numerous times but stopped at the last minute the only thing that stops me is the pain i feel in that moment. I self harm alot as it stops the thoughts for just a second, i break my bones now.I used to abuse my diabetes as its the easiest way to cause […]
I don’t know what to say, or how to say it. I’m scared of being home. I have been for a long time. I know it’s not abuse, because it’s not physical, but I’m getting worse again, and I’m scared to call CPS because they’ll see nothing wrong….
My mother, she says she cares, and only wants the best for me, but she says things with a hidden meaning. In other words, she says one thing, and she has a hidden meaning behind it. She’ll say things like “It’s so much easier shopping for your sister, because she is perfect for anything.” and means “You’re always […]
I guess it’s a bit different. People can get along. But will I ever do the same?
What makes one sane? A bunch of standardised tests for differentiated individuals?
Disorganised and depressed thoughts for the last 4 years. And I’m not even 18.
Maybe I just had a rough day. But, I’ll never be able to talk to y’all the same way.
Sorry for wasting your time. I just felt the need to turn to someone/something. Cause I have a bad tendency to turn to self abuse when I feel low or disappointed or mad at myself.
Yesterday, I made the hardest and biggest decision of my life.. I went to the police and told them about my ex boyfriend raping me coming close to 2 years ago along with the emotional, physical and sexual abuse and blackmail.. you name it, he done it to me. I walked over to the police station and asked for a police wife that I get on really well with, but I couldn’t tell her what happened, it took about 10 minutes for me to tell her. The minute I said rape, I had the worst panic attack I have ever had, I can type the […]
Hello, My name is Destiny and my birthdate is 05-121996
My childhood growing up was less than pleasing…for me any way. My mother met my father when she was 18 and they messed around…a week later he went to jail for theft and she found out she was pregnant with me. You see my father was a drug dealer/user, a drunk and abusive. When I was born he accused my mother of being a…player and said there was no way I was his. He beat her mercilessly. 2 years later my sister Kayla was born, he held no doubts seeing as he married my mother and […]
when was it that I first knew you?
Eternity — at the age of two
I think I first saw you.
gazing through my tear-soaked blindfold
that my mitten-bound hands could not remove,
I lost myself in the warm colours of your embrace
as terror descended on a body no longer mine.
you remain my first memory. but then,
how could I understand you?
seven. on dark basement steps, you found me again.
though you took me by surprise.
soothing and seducing
were your intoxicating whispers —
yet silent were your eyes.
I took in your ethereal liquor —
I breathed your whispers in.
“You don’t have to be here and suffer;
you just have to imagine.”
so imagine I did. I buried […]
I was reading about 70s teen heartthrob Andy Gibb and how he died right after his 30th birthday. The official cause of death was something about an inflammation of the heart after years of cocaine abuse. He had struggled with severe depression, but the family denied that it was a suicide, and the fact that he checked himself into a hospital (where he died 3 days later) seems to show it wasn’t suicide.
It made me wonder if I started now, how long would it take for me to wreck my own body? And is this the “long form” of suicide that so many people have […]
Everyone has a point in there lives where they dont know who they are, where they are, or who they want to be. Some people have to hit rock bottom before getting back up but sometimes we keep falling which is okay as long as you keep tryin. I had to hit rock bottom twice before I realized I had to get clean and sober. Im not perfect and I can fall at anytime but, right now Im heading back to the top of recovery. Let me tell you about my journey and my story about strength; sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Hey, beautiful people!
I was on this site two years ago as one of you. I was young, depressed, and had intentions of taking my own life. While I don’t see any familiar names, it was people like YOU who helped me become the person I am today. Today, I absolutely love my life. The narrow path I was on may have devastated me, but here I am today. I am here to tell you all that it DOES get better. By talking to people who genuinely care about you and having a little hope, you can get better. I promise. I have helped several people […]
This year I will be 25. I have been obsessed with suicide since my abusive childhood and have known I wanted to do it at age 25. I was raised with insanely high expectations. Long story short, I was beaten by my parent whenever my grades were below 99%. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. I was timed everyday from when I left to house to when I came home. No tv or phone calls, no christmas presents or magical princess birthday parties. Just school work and sleep. I’ve been punched, kicked, beaten with bats whenever I tried to stand up to my parent. I’ve been called me […]
It’s hard for me to even type this out, to be honest. I’m a very private person, one who rarely lets people in on the darker aspects of my life.
All my life, I have felt worthless, pathetic, weak. People have abused, violated, and abandoned me without any regard. And I let them because I am too weak to do anything about it or unable to.
Suicide crosses my mind at least nine times every week. It infests my mind when I’m not even paying attention and always makes sure to make its presence loud and clear when my situations are bleak. My chest constantly feels heavy except […]
I admit I don’t have the greatest life. My mom is the shittiest person alive, no one actually cares about me they just pretend they do then treat me like shit, I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever been close to, I’ve been through abuse of every kind, I have a lot of health issues, I have extreme anxiety and depression, and I’ve never been given any reason to like myself so I don’t. But there are definitely people out there who have it worse than I do. So why do I always feel like I want to die… nothing can really make me happy anymore and […]
But it sucks seeing my ex bf marrying some girl he managed to replace me with so quickly. I mean come on dude you’re 19 and you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with her? It makes me lol and want to cry at the same time.
I doubt any man is gonna want a woman with scars all over her body though =.=
Any of you feel the same way? I want someone in my life to help me along my goal to getting my survivor’s mentality back.
But I now also have a problem with the whole love life thing because of […]
Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down, they’re changing my future. Visions I had buried underground returning to abuse me. I’m getting worse, I can’t sleep. I thought that the feeling was gone, but it’s getting stronger. And I miss him, I miss him so much. I’m missing him like never before. But still, can’t be with him, can’t tell him, can’t dream about it. It hurts, like hell. I just want to be okay. I just, want to.
I’ve always been the strong one. The one who held others up when they couldn’t take it. I never wanted to burden others with my problems, so I tend to fake a smile and say I’m okay. I hate to be viewed as weak. It started when I was little — I was born to teenage parents who had a taste for methanphetamines. They did try to get clean when I was born, as well as three years later when my little brother came into the world. But their lifestyle caused me to take care of myself at an early age. A funny story I’ve […]
I feel betrayed and alone. I had a very close relationship (or so I thought) with my Higher Power. But, so much is wrong right now that is totally out of my control – my body is falling apart, all my friends are either gone or more than 1 days drive away, and I am so fucking tired and cold all of the time. I can’t remember a time since my ritual abuse (when I was a child) that I’ve felt this horrible. I used to say I had a problem with depression, but I didn’t. That was not depression. THIS is.
I have done everything […]
warning i am writing this out of lonliness, i am telling my story that may be traumatic and triggering to others and my journey so far. i am leaving out some strong details, but i will leave subtle hints to the other things i experienced which others will understand if they’ve experienced also.
Why is it? some people are just always last? always the scum to everyone else?
When you try so hard in your life and people say your doing great but you know your going no where inside, when you scream but no one hears you?
When you can’t get close to anyone anymore, when i […]
Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down. They’re changing my future.
Visions I had buried underground. Returning to abuse us.
I’m not going to say i had a such a horrible life, because i have never truly been hungry, never been homeless and got a lot of things i wanted. What i didn’t really have were supportive parents and friends. Majority of my life i was sheltered from things in life which made me oblivious to a lot of things. for example, i literally don’t know the barriers of conversation and cross them constantly, when i needed new tires i thought they came with hub caps, etc etc. I’m just dumb, and it shows in my work place, and since i fix aircraft lives literally […]
Lately things have been going good , and yet I still find myself , waiting…
for something bad to happen to remind me that this happiness that has been given to me to  borrow.. To remind me that life has been playing a joke on me and I’m just waiting for the punch line , ..  Why can’t life be easier ?
I suffered so much already I’ve endured what a person could only believe to be nightmares. I’ve only tried to make myself believe that things are okay and they will be different … Â I don’t have to live by my past and let it define […]