What’s wrong with me?

I admit I don’t have the greatest life. My mom is the shittiest person alive, no one actually cares about me they just pretend they do then treat me like shit, I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever been close to, I’ve been through abuse of every kind, I have a lot of health issues, I have extreme anxiety and depression, and I’ve never been given any reason to like myself so I don’t. But there are definitely people out there who have it worse than I do. So why do I always feel like I want to die… nothing can really make me happy anymore and nothing ever seems to comfort the pain… and the fact that I feel this way makes me hate myself even more… I mean, there are plenty of people out there who have it MUCH worse than I do, I’m just a whiny little *****. So why do these feelings never go away…