Here I am sitting in front of a computer screen, having tears run down my cheeks. I just need to let this all out. I was born abroad and faced tons of bullying when I came to where I am now. Started in 2nd grade and it never ended in elementary or middle school. I never made much friends until Middle School. I was in a clique, were weren’t close; it was simply to gain an advantage over each other for selfish purposes like getting good grades. I saw everyone in a race, in a race of being the best in academics. I was smart, […]
Tag:
Academics
For as long as I can remember, I’ve found myself unable to care or put forth effort for anything. I don’t pursue friendly or romantic relationships, and I don’t have any work ethic for academics or finding any sort of job. I’m a quick learner, so I’ve mostly been able to coast through high school on tests alone, though I’m currently at severe risk of needing to repeat my senior year next year. Due to my lackluster academic record and the fact that my family is barely above the poverty line, I have no prospects for college whatsoever.
The thought of suicide crosses my mind every […]
i m 22 years old and i m the biggest loser in the world. I have failed in each and every field of life, studies, sports, socialising, relationships, etc. i love a girl very much. but she has no feelings for me and she keeps on saying, “i dont love u, but i want u just as a friend”. these words tears my heart apart. i even stopped contacting her. but she contacts me once in a week and repeats the same lines. i just cant take it any more. but i cant even b rude to her.
i suck in sports. whenever i play i […]
I haven’t grown weary of life yet, I’m just deeply frustrated. There have been thoughts of death lingering in my mind. They’re not constant, but they’re frequent enough to be distressing. I’m too scared to take the so-called coward’s way out. The act of dying frightens me too deeply to try suicide. I’ve been slogging through the days, somehow keeping my academics mostly intact, but I don’t know how long I can keep going, as I find myself procrastinating a lot. I’m not a strong person, and although I’m not quite convinced I should die, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep […]
I live in a world that is not real. I feel like I don’t belong in this world. I was forced to pursue a career that I wasn’t interested in. I talk five sentences with my parents on a maximum. Â They have never once asked me how my day went. I never tell them. I don’t tell them about all the nights I sit alone and cry my eyes out into the pillow. I don’t tell them about the bad days I have, or the good ones either. My joys and my sorrows are entirely my own. I love learning about the Universe, but the […]
Im in my 3rd year of college. In the past i never really tried to put an effort in my academics since i naturally excel at it. My family especially my parents keeps on pressuring me to excel and be the top of my year since my parents think that finally one of their children was able to “inherit” their intellect. So this semester I had tried to put some efforts in my academics but to my frustration i failed all my subjects. Everyone around me, even my friends hero worship me because they think that im so great and that not true at all […]
So many times, i have wondered, what is the meaning of life?Â
Is it to be happy?
To find love?
To make a difference?
To experience new things?
Because I’m already 15 and felt like I’ve wasted a quarter of my life.Â
So much pressure is put on exceling in academics, but what’s the point? It feels as if everyday, the only purpose of life is to do well in every test in order to get a good job. It’s as if our lives are based soley on how well to do academically, and when we fail in academics, the repercussions are horrible.
The disappointment from the family…the judgement from the teachers […]