I like fighting, as a sport and life I guess. I really want it all to end. But I can’t bring myself to end it, I really want something out of my control to give me a fight I can’t win for my demise. Apparently that’s tougher than it seems, I’ve been hit by 2 cars in 1 week and it left me with little more than some bruises. I’ve survived 7 attempts (apparently I’m bad at it) and numerous accidents growing up and I wake up almost astonished that I’m still on the planet. I seriously walk around miserable and I can’t do anything […]
Tag:
Accidents
i still want to die……..
the realization that i am a burden and a pain is not something easy to live with…. just hope i would die of some natural causes or accidents…. that would save my family from giving explanations
i am tired…. and i still want to die….
It’s been awhile since I’m here. and I find myself coming here more and more often. Because nothing else interests me anymore. I can’t think about anything else. I think death just avoids me. I mean, every single day I hear about people getting in accidents or falling ill and dying. And every day, it’s not me. I ask myself why, and I can answer this question, weirdly though. BECAUSE NOBODY IN THE WORLD LEADS SUCH AN EMPTY LIFE AS MINE. People do something, go somewhere, engage themselves, and they get things happening. I don’t. I am too afraid to do something. I am afraid […]
Every day I hope that something can happen to make this easier for me. On my way to work, can someone run a red light and hit my car, can I just not wake up, can something out of my control happen, to just get me out of here. I don’t want to be here, and I haven’t for about a year. All these people who die in accidents, who are murdered, who just DIE… and here I am. Nothing…
I’ve been cutting for almost 10 years… I’m 24 years old, with the same habits I had in high school… it was never a ‘I want […]
People die all the time. Lot’s of beings (human, animal, plant) are dying now.
Yet if I choose to die now, others act as though it matters.
Some die when they are old and their body gives up, others die from a disease. Some die in accidents, others in murders. Some die even before they were born. Me, I’m going to die by my own hand.
It’s ironic… And sad, really.
Some people are so positive and full of hope, but unfortunately they have to face death so soon (be it from illness, accidents, etc.)
Some people pray to have their life ended because they lost all hope in life, but yet they have many, many, MANY healthy years ahead of them.
It’ll be nice if we could trade places…
I worked so hard to get to where I am, despite family background and chronic illness, I somehow made it this far. I have my family and friends mostly to thank for that, along with a will power I thought would never die. My illness already put me on leave half a year and now Im back in my Phd program and it feels like everyone is against me at every turn, including my body. I’m mostly better now except for the nerve pain. I cant believe I couldn’t eat for a whole year. It baffles me that Ive been through this. It’s not easier […]
I truly understand how you feel life is meaningless. I have felt that way for months and it is very painful. SOme days I think its the day to get it over with, because the pain and hopelessness is just unbearable. This life just feels like a dirty little trick played on us by biology, or cosmology, or whatever. The strange thing is, I think that even though we are suicidal )some of us severely so) I don’t think we really WANT to die. I think we just want answers. THough it seems those answers aren’t reachable (outside ourselves) maybe they aren’t even as important […]