today i sat on my bed with 205 pills lying in front of me. all a combination of my daily meds. i figured if i took them all i’d probably die. i thought about which would be the easiest to swallow first. i sat for about 30 minutes with my death centimeters away. there were so many thoughts going through my head but one that kept repeating was “you wont fucking do it.” I figured there was a slight chance i could make it but i knew i’d have to get my stomach pumped. so i went on google to see how long i’d be […]
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All i remember from my childhood is fighting. There was so much hatred in my family…in elementary school my parents got so bad i was scared i’d come home and my dad would be dead. He used to threaten it all the time. I remember things getting broken and walls being punched along with windows. My mom would constantly take me and my siblings away and threaten to not come back we’d stay at her best friends house but i began to get absolutely sick of it in 6th grade my parents were arguing so bad my dad walked to my brothers elementary school and […]
Have you ever heard that saying..”Karma is a *****?” I been hearing that all my 19 years of my life so far and i actually agree with it. It is a fucken ***** -_-. Im not your typical ” Black girl” people call me a “white chocolate person” or ” oreo” because im not rude or disrespectful or all in your face about everything. i was bullied hardcore about myself. i dont like hip hop or rap, i dont braid hair and all that stereotype shit. it might shock you that im a vegetarian. aha yeah i can see why people call me the names […]
Lately i haven’t been able to keep a good morale at home with my parents. Ever since I have started trailing of in school my parents have done nothing but tear me down. I tend to forget the last time I heard something positive from them. I have attempted suicide twice during the moments my grades have been going down. No one is here for me. I have lately even began questioning my religion. Whats the point of living if there is nothing to live for? What is there to look forward to tomorrow? More depression? Or nothing at all? I’m just tired of living […]
Where to begin, i know you read tons of those stories and thinking everyone you read is the same but it isn’t, story is what happen to me. when i was 7 everyone made fun of how i talk and looked.i was feeling lost in the world. I was bullied everyday and i got pushed off a play structure and i black out. I have blackouts tons of times, i never tell anybody because all my life my siblings always had me to tell my parents i did what ever was broking or missing so i got tired of trying to tell the […]
The beginning  of January I became depressed at first i didn’t think i was i thought it was because i didn’t believe it, i went to talk to someone nd i got some medication and it worked for a month until i had lost control, my step dad was in a metal worker so he knows what to do but when i feel depress try everything i can to find ways to kill myself. I look at my siblings and want to be them. I wanted to die but now i want to get better
im a 15 year old boy. yea before i continue i know im young for this kind of stuff. but to the point i hate my life. i always put asid my need to help someone else and get nothing for that. ive watched my best friends die right infront of my eyes. and i still blame myself of there deaths. i lost the love of my life. to my friend… and i just feel like.nobody cares. i hate my life. ive run away from home 8 times. longest ive been.gone is near a year. and ive ettempted suicid. many. many times. i just feel […]
Im a bisexual girl n i have a struggle with fitting in with society cause i dress in boy clothes n stuff. Just another struggle i have to face. People look at me n judge they don’t understand. They look at my cuts n judge me. They look at my skin. Im native and i get marginalized for all these things. I get pushed aside. I battle addiction cause i feel that getting fucked up is better than dealing with this fucked up world… You know what i like this site because everyone on here is open minded i like that. Â U guys are all […]
I have been in such a deep depression for the past two years that i have relapsed on cutting and it got to the point where every other day i was thinking of different ways to kill myself. Finally one night it got so bad that i knew i would do something drastic if i didnt get help so i texted my friend that i live with. She was in the kitchen partying with her friends and i tried for an hour and a half to get her to come help because i couldn’t get the courage up to go out there. She wasn’t answering […]
my brother… he needs help. He attacked me and i accidentally cut him with a plate that i was holding in my hand. im scared and shaking and really hurt how he could do that to me. now he is justifying himself to my mom. “defending himself”… thats not how it happened he knows that or maybe he really is crazy. i need to leave this house for a breather
i thought you would be there for me
you promised me that you would
but now you broke that promise
and you may have broken me
but do i let you know about my shattered heart
about the tears running down my face
about the urge to cut because i need you
do i let you know about the sadness dwelling inside of me
of course not because that would break you
and if i broke you i would be indirectly breaking myself
its sad how i know that you dont need me
as much as i need you in my life
but yet i […]
i hope no one would judge me here .
i am just a teen ., 15-16 ..but i have done horrible things . i had round about 6-7 ex boyfriends & more reltns in which i stayed with just 2-3 days but all these relationships were on fb or phn , no physical contact , i was a kid and i was immature and i hate myslf for wt i had done , i regret it evry single day , i feel so sad that i can’t face myslf . i was immature , but my reputation now is totally ruined , beside my exs […]
Next month it will be a year that she left my side. She didn’t give me life, but filled me with life. If Nate would have just let me be i would be with her.
Loss is such a painful part of life. I still don’t understand why the people i need in my life are taken from me in such horrid ways. My daughter would be getting her license this year. I can’t believe i only had eight days with her, but i wouldn’t change those days for anything in the world.
I suppose i am lucky that i have turned all my pain into a […]
We are champions. All of us in our predicaments. Nobody will ever tell us that because no one else  can ever truly understand what it is we go through. I   I just wanted to say from one suicidal person to another.
I love you and i would hug the crap out of you if you were near.
You are my Hero.
And i wish you luck on whatever happens next.
yesterday I had a phone call from my GP (DR’s) they said i had to go in right away to discourse my latest  blood test. when I  got I there  they saw me almost right away so basically I’ve got  deficiency in vitamin D,A,C,b12  i’m also anemia on top off all that the sodium and potassium  are low as well and i’ve been give a shit load off pills to help with this because i’m bulimic and have been for over 10 years with episodes of anorexic I kinder know this could happen but I’m not going to stop  i don’t think i can it been apart off […]
Hello everyone I know you are all battling your own wars..here nobody aint got time for me to listen to me or counsel me for my suicidal thoughts are just increasing manifolds……i seriously aint in the humour to write I am 18,India and right now I’m high and i got the rope ready I just wanted everyone to know that yes i was defeated everywhere its not because of u krati u were my first love and i want to die with her being my last its all coz of me myself i cant survive i aint strong enough i am not the one maybe […]
tomorrow is the day im hoping and dreading. i have another dr appointment, but it could be all or nothing. if im lucky he will find out what is wrong with my back and i will be cured both physically and mentally. if not then i have to tell my wife i cant adhere to my no self harm contract. seven years of back pain that causes immobility and prevemts me from being human is too much. i cant truly take care f myself and i am “smart” enough to know that i cant take care of any family i may have in the futue. […]
there was this huge fight over facebook about 7 months ago between a lot of people and me, and i was getting told to go kill myself and today i just went back and looked at the fight and started crying. I hate how people can be so mean to me. its like, what have i ever done to you?
anyway, im not really posting because my laptop crapped out and its not working so im using my dads until i get a new one.
i might not go back on this site anymore because i dont really now what to do with it. I’ll end up […]
So I just experienced the worst part of my day. Waking up. It’s 1pm and i just woke up. I was dreaming. My favorite pass time.
I honestly don’t enjoy anything else in life. Dreaming is an escape from life…from the depression. I can’t seem to find joy in anything else. I stopped taking my depression medication. I honestly didn’t see any difference.
whaterver…
label me hopeless, label me a coward, label me with whatever name you want to. I’m coming to the conclusion that my life is nothing but a reflection of  the dog shit on the corner of the street. you see.. the more i live the more i begin to realize this and the options i have in order for me to be happy are becoming slimmer and slimmer. Im on the cusp of being homeless and my mom wont help me out. I dont know what i did to make her so angry so fed up, honestly im fed up with myself. alot of things […]