So.. My body has been building up an anxiety attack for about 20 minutes now. I can’t breathe. It doesn’t even feel like my heart is beating, but obviously it is because I’m alive I think. I feel light-headed. I want to vomit. I’m shaking. All the heat has left my body. I can barely move my muscles. And this is only a build-up..
Tag:
Anxiety Attack
Its actually possible to coax yourself into cardiac arrest through careful meditation if you are trying to die.
You sit, with you eyes closed, and try to enduce what many people call an anxiety attack, or what i see as trying to remember where you were before you animated your body.
As a baby i can remember categorizing every experience i had, and knowing that whatever i was in-my body- was a highly advanced prison, designed to fool me into keep myself inside it.
I can remember taking account of and noticing my breathe, how many times i had inhaled and realizing that if i didn’t stop immediately […]
If you have read my first post you will understand that my life is honestly shit. If you didn’t to sum it up. My dad beat me my whole life, I told him I wanted to kill myself and he told me to do it. He took me to the hospital when I over dosed but dropped me off left, and told me I deserved it. A bunch of stuff has happened since. I have been in 3 mental hospital for attempted suicide. At one point I wasn’t eating or doing much of anything at all. I would go to school come home, and sleep […]
everythings bad. Ive tried so many things to get better , But I don’t want to get better , I want to kill myself. Ive tried a couple times , it never works . this time it will though , I hate my life , Im ugly , my family hate me , I have no friends , Im depression , I cant even go outside without having an anxiety attack . I don’t have a life anymore , All I do all day is sit in my room. I cant even go to school , no one talks to me , I have scars everywhere […]
At the moment I’ve got my music blasting and I am doing art work im totally distracted From thinking about my troubles but I’m worried that as soon as I go to bed ill start thinking again or that ill have a anxiety attack again. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight. Does anyone suffer from anxiety and if yes what is it personally like for you?
Saw Emily at the mall today …  That’s my exboyfriends sister  Ad it was way too awkward… She gave me a death stare  which really sucks because we used to be pretty close. I had an anxiety attack after saying hi to her.  Just makes me want Travis that much more.
And reminds me about how perfect his new girlfriend is  and how fucking shitty I really am
So me and my ex just had this HUGE fucking fight about cutting. (It was a big fight considering I had an anxiety attack) He’s never cut and he didn’t know I did. I felt like it was time to tell him so I did. He flipped shit on me and told me he would kill himself (which he won’t). He said he loves me and wants to be with me. I am the same but I told him I wasn’t going through his shit again. I told him also that if he wanted to be with me again he had to earn a hall of a lot of […]
Been preoccuppied with sp chat and FBSP rather than the original. My old home. I have endured much in my past i jsut want out. I need a gun. Fast. My moms boyfriend wants to take me to mexico so we could shoot guns and shoot drug dealers cuz i want the army to “shoot people”. I want to off myself is the real reason. I am triggered by special phrases that fuck me over most of the time. Whats going on? almost always triggers the voices especially when im insane from 12-4 am… I started crying right now cuz of the voices coming back […]
Today I went to school as normal, but instead of going to psychology, I had to go to do a chemistry prac I missed out on earlier in the week (worth 25% of my grade). Everything was fine until the teacher (not my usual one) started screaming at everyone. For the first time (in a school environment) my PSTD started to kick in and I started getting flashbacks of when my ex would scream at me before hitting me. I started having an anxiety attack, and before I knew it, everything was blurry and I was on the floor nearly crying. The teacher and assistant […]
Is not getting any better, I’m not getting any better,I’m  having an anxiety attack, I feel pain on my chest, arms and legs, my hearth is pounding so fast and I just feel I cannot do this anymore 🙁 I’m living my worst nightmare, I want to get better I just don
He’s in the process of breaking my heart. Its been over a year, and I love him more than anything but for every high there is a low.
I never hurt myself before you, and now I’m looking for ways to cover up cuts. I know, pathetic.
I was walking home along the road yesterday looking at every car that passes as an opportunity to no longer feel this way.
We’re still together, but need time apart? I feel like I’m gonna lose you to someone else, and I know that you don’t even treat me right half the time so why am I so […]
My mom is constantly telling me that i need to see a therapist and i keep on telling her u really should. I thought she had finally realized how i was feeling but then i find out that she wants me to see a therapist because she wants that girly girl that left her a long time ago,she hasn’t noticed a thing… She only wants the perfect daughter that she used to have. I may not be depressed and self-harm anymore but i still want to see one,i know im not completly out if the woods yet. My friends told me not to tell the […]
for about 9 or so years i had lived in a small judgmental town.. i was continuesly bullied.. to the piont where the only friend i had were the plenty of cuts on my arm… i thaught if people felf sorry for me maybe they would be nice.. stupidest mistake i ever made.. it only got worse.. i attempted cuicide and ended up in the hospital.. they all beleaved it was fake.. i went by emo, slut , cocksuking *****, druggie, crazi skitzofranic, and other.. i was suspended tree times of drug use ..and had stoped coming to school.. one day i was put in […]