Tag:

apart

A New Drug

by louise52 4/7/2015

written by louise52

Hi sweet suicidal peeps. I love you. I’m up in the wee small hours again. No surprise there. I went on a drug called abilify a week ago. At that point I couldn’t take any more suicidal depression. Abilify does a number on you. I can’t sleep, am restless yet terribly fatigued, worried about high blood sugar/pre-diabetes. Yet I have to say it’s stopped the depression, and the effects kicked in real quick.

Abilify also makes me want to eat everything in sight, with unhealthy, fatty, junk foods being the drug of choice. I can’t afford to indulge though. I’m 53 and carrying a lot of […]

4/7/2015 5 comments

I’m a piece of shit

by POS88 4/2/2015

written by POS88

“You’re a piece of shit. Put that gun to your head.” My thought processes throughout the day rarely changes.
(Disclaimer I’ve never had the ability to eloquently convey in words my thoughts and opinions. So I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I tend to jump around a lot. I just need an outlet)

I might focus on work or whatever but like a background noise it’s consistently making it’s way ever present. The only reason I don’t kill myself is because of my family, I have the most incredible family in the world. Yet, I’m barely apart of it.

My siblings are all so close but […]

4/2/2015 2 comments

Served my purpose

by Allenjohn62 3/31/2015

written by Allenjohn62

I believe I have served my purpose. Natural death is just that, natural. It would be romantic if we died after having served our purpose so we could go peacefully knowing the suffering will end. However, because death can happen at anytime we could serve our purpose and suffer worthlessly for years only to die unhappy and confused. Some people are destined to be great and lead wonderful successful lives, not all of us are that privileged.

After having been medically discharged from the military just short of completing basic training due to an eye disease I cant control I no longer have anything to push […]

3/31/2015 1 comment

Final consequences

by coldgreensoul 3/3/2015

written by coldgreensoul

Well I’m 16 and i’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes academically speaking. And just in general. I decided to do online schooling one year in 8th grade because school was so stressful to me at the time. I failed the grade. This made me feel so bad about myself but I went back to school for a solid two years. Managed to pass both grades. Then now, this year, I just didn’t ever go. I had already made up my mind to just commit suicide. I concluded I would never amount to anything but thought, “Hey, I’ll give myself a little vacation first if […]

3/3/2015 3 comments

Extremely Depressed

by lonleyk 2/22/2015

written by lonleyk

I think about it all the time……killing myself. I’m in a abusive, manipulated, horrible relationship. I am 31 and female. My common law husband is 43, so we are many years apart. He is horrible to me. He plays mind games with me all the time, manipulates every situation that he can with me. He makes me feel horrible about myself and he thinks he is better than anyone.

Because of all this I want to kill myself. I just can’t take this pain anymore. I can’t leave cuz I do love him, but at the same time I can’t take his shit. I feel like […]

2/22/2015 3 comments

living here will be the death of me

by 12ccht 2/12/2015

written by 12ccht

My mother resents me so much. She always has. I was always the reble, the introvert, the undesirable fat one, whenever the family was dressed for an occasion, I was left home alone. So many nights I wished somebody would’ve just broken in and murdered me. Now I know for a fact my mothers life would be ideal without me. Her words tear me apart. I want to fix myself and lose weight and be confident for once in my life but she could care less. I hate living like this. I wish someone would end my miserable life, I would be erased and forgotten […]

2/12/2015 1 comment

Sad eyes

by snowmaiden 1/27/2015

written by snowmaiden

If only I was well, I can leave it all behind.

I am not, I’ve been robbed of my life.

My project gives me anxiety, it overwhelms me. Talked to more people, getting more people involved. They don’t know I am suicidal and very depressed. They don’t know that I need to give up. They don’t know that I will fall apart any moment. The truth is, I don’t think I will make it to finish what I started.

I don’t want to die, but I can’t live a life without a future. It pains me so very much that I have to give up […]

1/27/2015 8 comments

My Story

by AnyoneListening313 1/15/2015

written by AnyoneListening313

Hi, I am a typical high schooler. Im apart of my schools band. I love it at times. In the seventh grade I was bullied to the point of suicidal thoughts. I was put in the hospital. My parents say I only did it for attention. I ddnt. I was really sad and saw no reason tl live. Back in may, I was hospitalized for attempted suicide. I had got in a lot of trouble for something I didnt do. I felt like my parentd hated me. They even asked around for boarding school. They want me to be perfect. Im a teen, I make […]

1/15/2015 2 comments

Hate.

by CandyCoatedCyanide 1/8/2015

written by CandyCoatedCyanide

Hate is what we possess there is no other way scapegoats got us no where captured as the lies within us we’re trapped nothing in between us go on, come closer follow my soft spoken voice, I dare you I can almost hear you breathing in silence your heart beats touched by the cruel chill of your presence I’m burning, fading into dust of ashes blowing in the wind you’ve ripped me apart covered with pale white shrouds being deprived of your absence has ordered my withdraw I am no longer searching left alone lifeless goodbye my love, I hate you.

1/8/2015 0 comment

how many others.

by nias 1/8/2015

written by nias

Travelling on a train I wonder how many of my fellow passengers suffer from suicidal thoughts; who, like me, had considered jumping under the train instead of getting on it.
In the supermarket I wonder how many of the other customers suffer from depression; who, like me, had difficulty getting out of bed and motivated.
Walking down the road I wonder how many of whose walking past suffer from social anxiety; who, like me, just want to be hidden away indoors instead.
How many others are there who suffer in quiet; ripped apart on the inside, but silent stoicism on the outer; I wonder.

1/8/2015 2 comments

A broken heart

by pomegranateheart 1/7/2015

written by pomegranateheart

I guess many can say I’m overreacting. Many would say the cliche “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”. But I am done.

21 years of my life someone actually returned their feelings. Someone made me happy. We were in love.

I have been used, manipulated, led on and abandoned. But this person…they weren’t anything like that.

They were innocent. They weren’t capable to do such things. But my past hurt, and my mental illness drove us apart and I feel much worse than before.

I was suicidal and planned but they came into my life and saved me. They picked up the pieces and glued me together. But […]

1/7/2015 16 comments

PPD

by sy 1/1/2015

written by sy

I have had postpartum depression for a few months now aggravated to suicidal ideation by medications. In a short period of time, my world fell apart and I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s hard to live but it’s also so difficult to die:( Anyone feel similar?

1/1/2015 5 comments

a long way

by ongaku 12/26/2014

written by ongaku

It appears I’ve come a long way from the post I made in March of this year.

I had broken up with my girlfriend because my family was vehemently against me seeing her. She was a friend-with-benefits of my brother, and they weren’t talking anymore because she felt he wasn’t really interested in being “friends” or having benefits anymore. There was tension, but I had grown to like her very much as I got to know her in the peripheral of their growing apart. My brother and mother were merely disappointed and worried at first, letting me be a grown man and making a choice. But […]

12/26/2014 2 comments

Hopes shattered, pieces missing.

by nias 12/19/2014

written by nias

Is this all my life will be: broken dreams, loneliness, pain and fear. I once had such high hopes, now I’m an embarrassment, I’m worthless trash.
All I want is to hold you, to love you, to protect you, it’s all Angela, my angel. You screwed me, you used me, now I’ve fallen apart, if only I’d known you’d do that, but I was caught up in love. Feel broken, death now awaits, do you even care, your life was all that mattered. You treated me like you were ashamed of me, you were ashamed, that’s clear, such damaged you caused me, such a worthless […]

12/19/2014 6 comments

10 People I Tried to Love

by LetItGo 12/13/2014

written by LetItGo

-she never responded to my texts, but she always called me when she was desperate for attention
-i talked to him one night and i got excited, but he was gone before the sun rose
-we hugged, but it never felt like it was right, it was always jagged and rough around the edges and i knew he wasn’t hugging me because he liked me, he was just doing it so a girl he liked would be jealous. it didn’t work
-we spun around the room laughing, but i knew that under those sparkling eyes she was trying to rip me apart and discover […]

12/13/2014 1 comment

Can’t Move On

by enelik 12/10/2014

written by enelik

3 months ago my fiance committed suicide. My whole world has been torn apart. He was my soul mate. And I miss him so much. I’m going through so much right now and don’t know where to turn. On top of that my daughter walks all over me and I just feel like giving up. She hates me and I just ask myself why am I still here. I have no reason to live on. I was the one who could never understand how a person could kill themselves. But I do now. When your at your lowest and it seems like no one is […]

12/10/2014 2 comments

TO BE

by mushroom 12/8/2014

written by mushroom

Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male

I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my […]

12/8/2014 4 comments

How It Started

by lost820 12/7/2014

written by lost820

I was 5 when it really started to fall apart you see I was never really normal I just suppose that’s when I actually noticed it. that what was happening was wrong that’s what I should have realized but instead what I thought was that everything that was happening to me was okay, It wasn’t an I didn’t know that, I really wish I had. My dad was very mean to me I grew up an cut myself in 6th grade for the first time from then on I couldn’t stop I haven’t either that was 3 years ago. This is my story if you want to hear more […]

12/7/2014 0 comment

why do people change???

by gabreialla 12/2/2014

written by gabreialla

I always asked my self this question (why do people change???) but I never found an answer for it. I found so many people changed in my life some are my friends and even my mom had changed these few 2 years maybe even I changed and I didn’t realized that. there are some positive changes but most people if they changed they change into the negative side . when I use to be a kid I use to come back from school and I find my mom baked for me a cake and I sit to drink my milk with the cake but now […]

12/2/2014 6 comments

Alone

by xenomorph 11/24/2014

written by xenomorph

So after a long time of being up and down mood wise, it’s really hitting me how lonely and depressed i am. Friends do exist, a couple of them, but i’m not close to anyone now. Sometimes i just want people who are feeling like this to talk to, people on here get it, and from other posts seem really nice and supportive. I have been looking to take my life, but it’s what i would be doing to the small family, mum and grandmother, it would tear them apart, and if i went no one who could take care of my dog, my dog […]

11/24/2014 4 comments

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