I could of been the greatest, I could of been the best, I shouldn’t have gave up on my dream when it was all I had. Its crazy how one day you could be perfectly fine but the next morning changes your life. I wish I could go back but going back ain’t a option in life. I will never forgive myself for quitting but I could teach others to not give up on their dreams and be the best they could be.
Tag:
Athlete
Where to start..
I guess with how I’m feeling right now. I’m doing awful. And by awful I mean I want to kill myself. I wish that sometimes I would get the guts to try it again. Or I wish I would have died the first time.
My boyfriend has depression as well. And when he is having a bad day he just goes home. (Normally he stays with me as we mostly live together) Like today he got off work early. I didn’t know what time because he never told me. He just said he was having a hard time and didn’t want to […]
Hi, this post is just about me and why i decided to join. its not some inspirational story to make you change your mind. just me and my experiences. I joined cause I needed someone to listen who understood or could relate.
It all starts with my brother, we were insepreable as childeren and got along fabulously, but as soon and me moved across the country and we had to make new friends we stopped talking. he bacame an athlete I became the geek, (cliche i know) he had all the friends I spent elemetary with none. After a while I became very angry at everything […]
this is messing with my thought process. The endless cycle of bad, then good, then worse.. I dont like making decisions that i know will hurt my other relationships, like with my friends. After 6 days on break, where i was out of energy to really think about anything, and have everyone repeatedly tell me that hes not worth it, hes a fat, ugly guy who cant be a athlete, etc. He decides he wants to be with me. I felt instantly better because this kid has changed me in ways i dont understand. I really want to explain this to my friends, but they […]
This song was used in the Doctor Who episode Vincent and the Doctor, and as any art lover will know Vincent Van Gogh was famous for suffering from severe depression (he cut one of his own ears off in a manic episode) and committing suicide at the age of only 37 scorned as an artist in his own lifetime…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khvC1M14S1M
Just want to get this of my chest, i am suicidal, have been for about 6 months now. Feels like im grasping at straws here.
This is the story. I grew up in a home with alot of conflict and negative energy, but also with alot of love and care. There where specially one very grave voilent episode when i was a child, and also other incidentes, but not of so grave character. Dispait of this me and my siblings grew up and did very good in school and sports, but i don´t think any of us was and still are (naturally) unaffected by the nature […]
I know it will it is just the details I want to fill in. I see knifes and I get ideas. I see my moms diabetic medication and I get ideas. I go to school I walk upon the top of the staircase and I see the bottom and I  get ideas.  I today held a knife and pointed it to my chest. I know I’m not afraid of dying. I’m sick of being treated like shit. I am infected with the misery decease which was stung into my heart by the needle of destruction. I see my money and I see guns online and I […]
This year and last year have been hard.
I found out a couple of  horrible things about my birth parents and family.
I’ve spiraled down ever since that and I’ve relapsed with cutting.
I’m extremely insecure and I hardly ever go out in public except for school.
I’m a shy, secretive person.
It’s hard for me to stick up for myself.
I let people take advantage of my kindness.
I hate how unassertive I am.
I bottle up my feelings because I can’t express them to people.
I’m ashamed of my scars.
I believe I’m too emotional at times.
I’m constantly down on myself because it’s normal for me.
At my old school I was on the swim […]