I’ve been feeling more than just a little down the last few days. I’ve always known that my MDD will come and go, regardless of the good and bad things in my life. The state of the world these days just seems to indicate there is no viable solution to the hate and killing. Why stick around and continue the vicious cycle?
This is One Blood by Terence Jay. A good representation of my attitude.
Sigh…alright…this needs to be said. Don’t take this as me attacking anyone, because I really don’t want to cause a problem. I was here over a year ago and saw the same thing. It made me leave then because it isn’t what anyone needed. A lot of what I see isn’t true depression, it isn’t true psychological pain. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt that people that post here have rough lives. Everyone has rough patches. A lot of what I see here is simple: a bunch of kids that blow things out of proportion, that assume because one thing bad happened in their […]
I’ve come to hate the daylight. As much as I hate loneliness, being alone in the dark late at night feels so much more secure. I guess that is the time when people can’t mess with me as much – they’re all off in their dreams and resting. I don’t sleep much anymore anyway; except sometimes during the day when it serves the purpose of keeping the rest of the world away from me.
It’s a bad thing to do I know. Isolation feeds depression and anxiety, but I know myself well enough to know that I won’t always choose what’s right just because I know […]
Hello, I goggled I want to cut myself tonight to try and stop myself from slicing up my thigh. My boyfriends laying in the bed next to me while I’m crying my eyes out asking “what can I do”, nothing and then I tried to talk to him an he said you always get like this last night I cried after I had sex with him but I say this with all my heart someone that has never known depression will never know, he doesn’t know. My mother died of cancer when I was nine my father remarried a women a year later with 3 […]
I look through the posts here on sp and i dont see any familiar names: idk whether thats a good thing or bad… I hope everyone that I have talked to that I’ve shared stories with and bad times are doing ok. I’d like to htink they dont come here anymore because their lives got better, they moved on and now are at peace with themselves. I hope thats the case <3. Maybe one day i will reach the point where this sight is a very very distant memory.
Why do I feel so cold yet I don’t have a cold heart?! Why is it that I allow people to shove their happiness down my throat and don’t have the guts to just ignore them or say fuck off?!?! This sounds bad. It’s not that I don’t like when people are happy I’m happy for them but it’s one thing to talk about it and it’s another to know you’re actually shoving it in someone’s face to make them feel like complete shit!!! I get it already! I don’t need a daily reminder 42 times in a day everyday!!!!!!
AHHHHH!!! RAGE!!
Done… Sorry..
You feel lonely and depressed and that one person you count on to understand you tells you: “There you go PRETENDING to be all sad again” and “Fine. If you want to wallow in your miserable self-pitying then be my f*cking guest.” Just no words right now for how pissed and CRUSHED I am. This challenges me more to show him that I AM NOT PRETENDING, I want to prove that to him so bad. I am so tempted to off myself…Has someone undergone something similar? 🙁
I’m not really a touchy feely kind of guy but since she left I feel as I can’t continue. I’ve got 96 pills and two bottles of wine. I feel bad about doing it at my mothers but there’s really no other option. Gave the house to my ex. The last ten months and three weeks have been torture. I’ve only survived that long because of my son but I can’t do it any more. Imagine what it feels like to want to die but having to push on, I can’t go on any longer. I went to the doctors today. They told me to […]
The past seven years for me were filled with promises, hope and trust. Only to end with betrayal, distrust and pain. Then more repetitions. Now I’m so scared it’ll happen again. And Im also made to feel bad for being insecure and afraid. Everything somehow becomes my ‘fault’.
It’s not so fucking easy.
I’m so fed up with hurting. Can I just please lie down and die in my sleep?
Things seemed like they were going great, I’m so stupid. Why the fuck would I be optimistic when life just had to bite me in the ass. I have to go to Sydney, a massively overcrowded city to see my family, be tossed from one family to the other whilst old people hug me and say I have grown so much, see my best friend (and I use that term lightly) who has ignored me since I last went back to Sydney. I also get to see her older brother (my old crush from when I was little) and he loves to torment me saying […]
I force myself to go out alone. It is a feeble attempt to pretend I have a life. Everyone always says go out meet people do your own thing. Blah Blah Blah. I do freaking everything alone what I miss is human companionship. So, I am out having a beer watching football. I am surrounded by groups of friends and families. I am jealous and sad. I look and wonder what it is they have I don’t that. I can’t be that bad, my therapist always said everyone deserves love as is. As is in the sense of big small issues or no issues. It’s […]
today is my birthday i’m 19 years old ; i don’t have friends just on fb
i’m always thinking of killing my self , i tried a lot i hung my self , i cut my arm there was lot of blood in my clouthes ,my face was coverd by tears i was waiting the moment to die but i didn’t 🙁 i still alive
this is so bad
i wanna die i hate my self ,,,, i’m not sleeping , i don’t eat any thing and i don’t talk a lot ,,,,
i’m upset because i feel weak i can’t even kill my self :'(
Yup, that’s me. Moron extraordinaire. I dunno if that’s a word but it is now. I’m a moron. I’m the moron of morons. Im the king of idiots and bad choices and stupidity. God knows other people have told me that enough. But you know what? I’m perfectly fine with being a moron. In fact, I quite like it. Everyone’s trying to be something they’re not and I’m just chilling being a moron. I’m one step ahead of you, society. Ha!
I can’t do this.. Whenever i find reason to be a little bit happy, someone destroy it.. They say something or do something that makes me feel not good enough.. I am not super model and i have normal body but my mother always tells me that I am fat and that i need to think what I eat.. But she is the one who buys me sweets and bad food but when i say that to her she just ignore me..Some guy at school tell me I am fat every day but i think I can ignore him because I don’t like him..And then […]
Tonight is awful. I’m close to tears, I feel very alone and unwanted. For the first time in months, I’ve actually considered hurting myself. I know that won’t help, but it’s so tempting. Since losing my therapist and many friends 3 weeks ago, I fell back hard into my already bad depression, making things worse.
I have no clue what to do anymore. I question myself. Am I good? Does my past make me bad? Am I loveable? School gets under my skin. Also, my impending birthday is looming over me like a giant, and my past is a scary dark forest around me.
I’m just lost. […]
been a while since i been here. hope everyone is doing ok, or at least staying alive. I hate having suicidal thoughts…but here they are tonight, first time in a while. im quite lonley, and i need a better job, or my gf might leave me. I already only have one friend. crap, im scared of being homeless,in jail, or dead. maybe as a 29 year old black male without a good job (although very educated) i have just seen all the good i will ever see in life? maybe…i should just take the easy way out. i hope this mood passes quickly.
It doesn’t seem like such a bad thing now. I thought it was. It is not. Suicide is still an option. Not a crazy one. So many other people feel the same way. I don’t feel like it is a bad thing any more. I felt ashamed for it. I probably won’t go screaming it from the roof tops, but it is not abnormal, exactly. Why are so many opposed? The same people that think about it themselves? I have heard that it is selfish. Maybe they just haven’t felt what I feel, what I’ve felt before.
Helping other people cope with their problems for ages but when it comes to me, they’re never there. I’m a happy person. No I’m not. I don’t know what I am but all I know is that I need help. I can’t go on when I’m this alone. I’ve been strong for too long and now I’m trapped. The happy girl during the day, but crying myself to sleep at night. I just need help… I’m sick of this. I want to go back to being helpful, but when I’m breaking I can’t even stop someone from feeling down? I only want to be happy […]
I refuse to let whoever the fuck is running things up there, the satisfactions of watching me, suffer, wither and die an early death by suicide. I refuse to give up, even though I have all the odds against me, even though I can’t love myself, cause there’s always regression to the mean; Things can’t always be good, but they can’t always be bad either, it has to mean out. I refuse to let my future loved ones down, by swallowing the pills in my hand. I refuse to give up on myself; i refuse to die unhappy, alone and young. I’ll fight […]
Maybe no one cares, and i really wouldn’t blame you.
its not like i have some sad story, a problem people can pitty me with. no.. i have never seen some of the troubles alot of other people have.
but its not pitty that i want either. more of a understanding from the people around. an explanation for why i always wear long sleeves, even in 100 degree weather.
why i NEVER want to hang out, because i dont have the motivation, and would rather be in my room sleeping all day.
I want to tell my mom so bad, but every time i bring up the subjects she […]
Please log in to report posts