Well I’m here at the lake, just me my gun and what’s left of this case of rocky tops. For once I’m finally at peace, I watched the sunrise an set an besides that I’ve done absolutely nothing today and loved it. I’m ready this time no panic, no fear everything is just dare I say peaceful. My heart is pounding as I write these last words but not racing just steady hard pumps, I’m a bit anxious with anticipation about what’s going to happen after I pull the trigger so I’ve sat aside any preconceived notions about the after life and just take it […]
Tag:
Beers
Im new here so im just going to start with family, as they say family comes first.
The 11th of november 1995 was the day I was brought into this world. Being 2 hours born and taken away from my parents by a case worker. They say it was for the best, she was a drug addict aswell as an alcoholic and she couldnt look after herself or even support herself so how could she look after me? So I was taken away and put into a foster home not even a day old and straight into a complete strangers house. I obviously didnt know what was going […]
It seems that ever since I found out that my only love is expecting a child i’ve changed.
It was as if my heart had been poisoned..I thought it would surely kill me at first, the first week and a half that I spent crying, moaning, and begging for my life to be ended.
I’d even go out for walks late at night and hope someone would cause me harm. Kill me and leave my body in the gator infested swamps that someone or something may stand to gain from my life.
Pain so deep that it turned my heart black and my blood like tar. […]
What do you do when only one thing helps
But you can’t even do that right?
Take the bottle of pills off the shelf
Cuz you fuck everything up in your life
Well that’s what I just did
Downed pills like shots on new years
Popped the tops off a couple of new beers
Ran up to my room and hid
Under my bed cutting my wrist
Making designs to shame an artist
My cuts have a contest
To see who can go the farthest
First prize went from my armpit
Down to my fist
Left arm useless but I still have my right
To end my life […]
42, lost, and really unsure where I belong, or even if I do belong. I bring to much pain to me and others
by wstock7
written by wstock7
Can anyone relate? Can anyone understand? Am alone?
I am 42, and have battled with success and failure all my life. I am a high school drop out, who has struggled my whole life, but have always held roles in the financial sector primarily mortgage related. A few years ago the industry was totalled with the fall of the economy, and many blame it on mortgage’s and I cannot disqualify this. However I have always walked the line, doing what is right, and what is honest, while watching those around me, become wealthy, and having no concious. Sometime I really regret, being the stand up guy. […]