People may view me as outgoing, kind, obnoxious, bitchy, annoying, funny, weird, loud, extrovert, smart or stupid. That how I am in public. In reality i’m lonely, broken, hurt, scared, shy and quiet. No one knows how I truly feel. I don’t trust anyone because I’m always betrayed. I am broken and won’t ask for help.
Tag:
Betrayed
Warning: for those reading this, I apologize for the lengthy post. I just can’t help but feel trapped in my body. It seems I can never escape the thoughts in my mind besides when I’m sleeping. I just want to sleep forever.
Why is it always me??? Why can’t I find the happiness I so truly want and deserve? Why do I feel unwanted? Used? Betrayed? Unloved? Is something wrong with me? Maybe I’m destined to be alone forever..and if that’s the case, why am I still here? The man I love doesn’t seem to love me back… yet I’ll find any excuse to try and […]
I felt so lost one day. I finally confessed to a friend how I felt. My plans to die. Everything. He called me a coward, told me I was worthless scum. I should just kill myself and he wouldn’t care at all. I think it broke me. Now I can barely eat, sleep, or just do anything. This was the first time I tried to talk to someone about it who didn’t figure out for themselves. I’m never going to do that again. Why can’t he see how much he hurt me?
CRITICAL parents, bullies, addictions, mean girls, jealous gossip, scapegoat me you bitches, outcasted, jobless
Hard working, straight Aing, exercising, writing, creating, therapy, friends, faith, graduate degree, PURPOSE, dignity
Shes meek and timid and mousy, she’s a minority who only speaks English, she’s worthless, so TIMID, fucking nice and quiet
Sing, paint, POWERFUL, spiritual, soulful, run, get up and try again, meditate, pray, brush it off, get up, SPEAK UP
Not enough, never enough, never enough, use me, put me in danger, put me down, alone, alone, ALONE, no one understands
No one will hire a wounded healer she said, think positive they said, have a thicker skin they say, have […]
Betrayal!
I was 6 years old when it happened
It felt like the end,
When you betrayed us
To mum’s best friend.
At the start she was just a nail lady,
Then we started having tea,
I was never really fond of her,
She did always charge a high fee.
But then she met you
This was when I knew she was bad
She took a liking to you,
My so called loving Dad.
It then developed to sleepovers
With her in a fold out bed,
One time I came out and saw you
Under her quilt that was red.
Then there was the year of the teen formal
Why should i go on?There’s nothing here for me.I don’t help anyone.all i do is hurt everyone. There’s tons of people i know,some of them i even call ”friends”,but if i were to die right this minute,what would those fellas miss?Besides free meals,clean toilets,and entertainment I’m just that girl you invite to your party as eye candy.Fuck that,no thanks.I don’t belong to this world.Oh and as for the boy i spent the last year of my life bending over backwards for to make happy.The one who got me pregnant and left,leaving me to handle the abortion today.alone.Fuck you,sweetheart.And stop antagonizing me,you’re gonna fucking kill me,you […]