I’m such a fuck up I can’t even kill myself right..
I’ve tried 7 times and I’m still here….
3 of my friends have done it..
Why can’t I?
They say it has to get worse,
Before it can get better.
I say, “how much worse?”
“How long will it take?”
It’s been 6 years.
But here I go again.
Faking this smile.
Hiding the pain.
No one sees through.
No one cares to.
I’ve been done for years now I just keep holding on in hopes of a better future but I can’t keep holding on to hope then watching it shatter in front of me I love to much so I break to easily even my Mom doesn’t care I’ve been trying to stop feeling this way to stop feeling that’s all I want I tried to kill myself Thursday but as I’m typing this you see I failed and now I have decided it’s the end I don’t how I’m going to but I have to
But I’m done!!
I can’t do this anymore!!
oh and Happy Easter to you all
i hope you all get through it better then I did
Don’t read this if you don’t want to, you probably have better things to do.
I’m a 15 year old boy. I haven’t been diagnosed with depression but it’s not necessary. I’ve been depressed since I was 11. I started cutting a year ago. I feel worthless and alone all the time.
It was when I was 11 that I found out how easy is for people to use you when they need something and then forget you immediately. It was when I was 12 that I found out how your “friends” talk shit about you at your back and criticize you in your face. People […]
i didn’t want to wake up. i was having a much better time asleep. and that’s really sad. it was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. i woke up into a nightmare.
We knew each other for six years before we got into a relationship that lasted nearly three years because even though things seemed to get better, exactly one week ago she pulled the trigger. Now the same question keeps on repeating itself over, over and over again: “Why?â€.
Before you all start commenting on why I didn’t help her, let me first make a couple of this things clear! Even before we got into a relationship I knew she was struggling with herself. She had this image of herself not being beautiful, smart and thin enough.
I could see the pain in the eyes. She had a […]
Telling someone they can’t be sad because others have it worse,is like saying someone can’t be happy because others have it better.
im tired of trying to please everyone but myself. im tired of pleasing my parents(grandparents). tired of trying to please my so called friends. tired of trying on everything. im just tired of getting up to go to the same shit everyday. getting yelled at cause im failing my classes well for your fucking information im taking pre ap which is better then regular classes and its changed since your fucking time. getting picked on made fun of being a expierment for my friends just so they can have fun cause i wont stand up for myself well guess what keep doing it but when […]
So I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for pretty much my entire life.
I really see no joy in most things. I feel like I’ve mostly lived my life for other people, I can’t really recall feeling genuinely happy since I was young. It feels like my life has just sort of been a series of unfortunate events; which would be enough, but I just don’t seem to have the ability to deal with it.
Everyone I’ve grown up with has distanced themselves from me and ignores me now. When I try to make new friends people pretty much do the same. I push myself so […]
I thought I was feeling bad enough before. But apparently not. I still am trying to make things better in my life before “the date”. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to do it. I wasn’t expecting so much drama and heart breaks. I am so alone right now. Everyone is tired of me and my depression. Everyone is so busy. I have nothing to look foward to. I have nobody to love. I have no passion left. I feel empty. I get this impression that I’m trying my hardest to feel better, but it’s never enough. Maybe I’m just not meant to […]
I’ve faded down to the deep blue abyss what’s the point the voice in my head says. I’m too nice I don’t speak my mind I cut to get better i take pills knowing they make me worse I’m just waiting for the last thing to hit
giggles, smiles, happy moments
shattered broken and
Disappearing replaced with a broken heart and tears
A deeper darkness than you will ever know
Pushing on is to much
Causing more and more pain
The thought is more sweet than ever
Maybe it would be better
Everyone would be happy
The Darkness grows stronger with each passing day
Why fight
Why resist
Its the better option
Everyone else would be happy
Hello Friends,
About 6 weeks ago I was ready to move on…..all my ducks were in a row, as the saying goes. But then three things happened.
1. I learned a person I know and respect also suffers from MDD and has attempted. She shared this with me quite out of the blue. Evidently it took someone who had walked several miles in my shoes to see and heed the signs. I wasn’t aware I had let anything slip. She picked right up on it. I now have someone safe to go to in times of need. And what is really remarkable is she knows and understands that […]
I’m 37. And I’m an asshole. I’ve hurt people. Because I have fears. My mother was murdered christmas of 1999. My father, who always treated me like I was nothing, died christmas 2006. I always blamed myself for my mother’s death. I should have been there. I also have a severly autistic son, which I also blame myself for. In fact, she tells me all the kids are fucked up because of me. And I lost the one person that I loved more than anything due to me. Nobody else. And I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I’m the problem. Me. […]
Suicide is not the coward’s way out. You’re leaving what you know to go somewhere you don’t. The ones who wait and wait and wait for it to get better and it never does, those are the cowards. I am not a coward. And I’m ready to end my life and kill the pain.
I have it so good. Its just most the time I focus on the shitty stuff. Like today I just told myself “why are you deppressed? Even though you have no friends, you just got all A’s this year, and now you can sit on your ass and play video games all week” and I actually felt a little bit better. its a lot like sprinting ahead of the storm cloud above your head, but you know when you get tired it will catch up.
I’ve done nothing to nobody yet I’m somehow the most hated person at my school I want my life to get better but everyone makes it worse I just want everyone to leave alone why can’t people do that WHY I get it I’m a horrible person I’m an asshole I’ve done nothing right in my life but I just want this suffering to end Ive never wanted to die so badly there is no fucking god and if there is he hates me I only want the hurt to stop once just once I want this to go away I’ve tried everything and I […]
have been suicidal for a while now.. currently on meds but I feel hopeless. nothing every gets better.. idk what to do and need help.
It saddens me so to read all the comments and realise – most people don’t understand us at all.
Society has been going on and on about how we suicidal people need anti-depressants. About how we have mood fluxes and that our suicidal thoughts are irrational, born from irrational feelings.
No.
Most of us have thought about this long and hard. We’ve tried it once. But at that last moment, we see a glittering, shimmering light of hope. Our choices to end our own lives are not something that springs from the moment. We think about it, we plan about it, and we’ve always found that it was […]
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