Do I want to die? 99.99% of me says yes. It is only me that can answer why and I am aware that It, the reason why, is all in my head.
I don’t know how to explain, the best that I can come up with is that I have awoken from a dreamworld that I’ve lived in for most of my life. I am not in any way, shape, or form lying or being misleading when I say that I grew up in isolation. I internalized just about everything. From the isolation, there wasn’t anyone who wanted to get close to me–no aunts […]
Wake me up inside. Bid my blood to run, before I come undone. Call my name & save me from the dark. Bring me to life
I’ve become so familiar with it and it’s so on and off I have called my depression Sebastian. I have been following this site for a long time now and have recently realised that it is just another anchor I must set myself free of if I have any hope of recovery.
To anyone who decided to pay attention to this I thank you and bid you farewell.
– whathaveIdone
I’m tired.
Life’s for those who can handle it.
Not me.
Suicide is for those who are brave enough to bid farewell.
Not me again.
So where do I fit in?
I’m closer to suicide. The pills, fast trains, slim blades, deep oceans – I don’t want to be here anymore.
I can’t endure anymore pain.
For the past weeks I’ve noticed everyone smile and be happy, Lying to everyone and saying I’m happy so I will be explaining my feelins through these lyrics:
“Seems like the gods are punishing me
shackled in chains I just can’t Break free
Hands round my throat tighten the grip
bound by my sins so my wings have been clipped
I’m paying the price, I’m doing the time
serving my sentence for doing the crime
So show me the heavens or drag me to hell
my story is over i bid you farewell, I bid you farewell
now drag me to hell”
I did not write these lyrics BFMV did, its the easiest way to […]
Another lonesome night spent lamenting unknowable if’s and but’s. The walls are coming down, crumbling, slight cracks snake up from the ground, chips of plaster abandon there post and tumble hard, downwards. I sit, watching, and the last shudders of life drift out to rejoin the ether.
I sit and smile, an effect distilled from the pleasure of both watching this event and feeling it. I am a pathetic husk of a human being, an irretrievably broken man, endlessly pestered by apathetic and cowardly thoughts, of means to escape my open cage. I am institutionalized, I fear.
A throbbing vein mocks me as I contemplate a sharp edge. […]
for as long as i can remember, i’ve always been different from everyone else.
eventually i came to accept it; i basked in loneliness, despite the fact that it was “wrong” in the eyes of others. it was wrong to sit in my room alone. it was wrong to ignore others. it was wrong to not be like everyone else.
so i put up walls and i lived behind a mask for years. it was nearly perfect, as everyone bought into my lies. they believed that i was the person who i pretended to be.
yet one person knew.. he was the person closest to myself. he […]
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