I was approached today by a friend about her supicion I was thinking about self termination. She lost her first husband to suicide and does volunter work for a prevention hotline a couple nights a month. I guess I was an easy read for her. It caught me off guard damn it and I stumbled. I confessed. What a stupid idiot I am. How could I have been so inept and careless!! It was a foolish liability to give away my desire/need. I hindered the time I had planned to make it so, by self sabatage. She offered to drive me to a hospital, like i would let that happen again. I […]
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I often see it. They say it’s supposed to be magical, make a wish. I keep wishing, yet nothing changes. I gave up hope long ago, not to mention I despise that word. A word tossed around by fools to reassure themselves everything will be okay. Nothing ever changes. I’m not too fond of people, I actually hate people really. It’s a cruel world with cruel intentions. There is more bad than good, but, then again, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong? Society is the biggest pile of shit to ever exist. I don’t know what’s worse, the government or society itself. You […]
December 17th, 2011 at 2:31 am
im not sure what to say other than i know all your going thru seems like alot right now but life will get better for you it will just take time. I offer this to you becouse i dont want you to kill yourself, wich puzzles me becouse i am thinking of killing myself also and if i am going to end it why care if some totally random person on some blog does the same thing? I think its becouse my life has alot of simularities to yours except it was a long time ago that i […]
I wrote my first blog here earlier last year:Â A Wasted Life… and hopefully my last is going to be posted sometime next year. This one was quite unplanned and most unexpected but after thinking about it for a little while, I just had to go ahead and write it… okay, so here goes. I live with two people who I greatly care for but one of them’s like seriously terminally ill and he isn’t really capable of taking care of himself anymore, he’s also extremely isolated now since he’s pretty well housebound most of the time. I’ve been living with him for years, trust me […]
http://suicidesavior.webs.com/Â this is my new website. please come and look. yeah.
in responce to that first comment on my last blog (sorry about the spelling): i didnt mean for it to sound like i was competing, or even to insinuate that this is, somehow a competion. just that i got the feeling that my last post was being pooh- poohed as unimportat. any way. i cant talk to my friend (we’re 17), thats really the whole problem, i dont know how to express my self (hense competition thing), i either underestimate the whole situation, and then people dont belive me, or i go ott, and end up getting really defensive.Â
i cant talk to my mum or dad, […]
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