“Mind led body to the edge of the precipice. They stared in desire at the naked abyss. If you love me, said mind, take that step into silence. If you love me, said body, turn and exist.” -Unknown
Tag:
body
I love yur smile yur eyes the fact yu think yur hair is blonde yur jaw line Yur muscles yur body yur teeth yur funny af yu don’t care abt people that don’t matter yu care for the ones close to yu that yu love I love how sometimes yu stand lik a ****** I love yur voice cuz I’ve never hear anyone even slightly similar to yu :3 I love yur huge head I love the way yu wrap yur arms around me and don’t let me go even when it pisses me off I love how yur so different I can learn something […]
I just want this nightmare to end. I want to wake up and find none of this really ever happened. The love of my life, my reason for living has found someone else. He’s still here with me in body, but not entirely here. I know it’s still going on and I want to die so badly. The only reason that I’ve not done it yet is because I hope one of these days he’ll see, that he’ll open his eyes and see that it was all just a big mistake. But I’ve not many days left, I just hope it happens soon.
Still alive. I was planning on doing it almost a month ago. But then there was my sister’s wedding, and once that passed, I realized the holidays were fast approaching. Then there are my students, too. I teach at a local community college, and I rather like my students. And whether they like me or not, losing a teacher mid-semester is bound to be traumatic.
As much as I want to kill myself, I feel the need to wait for a better time for the people I’m leaving behind. Everytime I walk across the bridge near my apartment, I fantasize about jumping off. I don’t know […]
I feel sick with it. Sometimes it’s a big empty whole, sometimes the whole fills with a nausiating meloncholy substance formed of some vile nostalgia. My eyes see only ugliness. A waste land. And my body crawls across it’s filth. Motivated by someone else’s idea of hope. To reach what? perhaps another minute, or better yet a minute left behind. Another moment of agony I’ve put behind me. There are moments of another nature however. I’d say the suffering isn’t worth them, but what the hell. Water is so much better when your thirsty.
Its been around two weeks since i started starvation, this is definetely not a way to go if you want to go peacefully, my body weight is at an all time low, my body is weak and any physical task is hell. Keeping composure at work and acting normal is the hardest of task. Im not sure if im hallucinating due to it, theres always something there edging me on to just finish myself off faster. I often find myself speaking to it or myself, my memories are a bit faded and does not feel like my own. The depression and anxiety remains strong. I […]
Hello. I was born in a male body and given the name Michael.
I don’t identify as a male. Since puberty, my body has felt as if I had breasts and they were cut off. My penis and testicles feel as if they were stitched on. They’re always in the way.
I would really like to transition. I’d like for people to be able to see me as I see myself, and not the physical husk that I look at in the mirror every morning and every night. I would love to, but I need money, and time, and I need everyone to accept that I’m a […]
Day after day… my heart gets heavy
day after day, water blinds my eyes, i cant bear it anymore
i feel like a tool, people turn on when they wanna have my body
am i just a body? i also have feelings… but day after day, my heart gets broken.
i dont believe in love neither in feeling, all i believe is in selfishness
all the fairy tales I’ve read and watched as a child… they’re far, far away from me.
i wanted to be your Cinderella,
and day after day, all i wanted was to be hugged.
I’m just a doll boy,a forgotten one.
when you want to touch me… it feels good, […]
Since suicide by starvation alone takes a considerable amount of time, ive decided to drink smal doses of anti freeze mixed into my gatorade, i posted yesterday stating i was beginning the starvation process but ive actually been on it for 5 days so far including today. ive gone fr 170lbs to 161lbs so far and feel like death figuratively, but thats probably due to taking my anti anxiety meds without food. Like many of you i wanted the least painful way to go. I dont suggest these methods. i will update with how the antifreeze affects my body in a couple of days.
It’s harmless right. I’m not bothering anyone. I wish I was dead. Life is a ****ing joke! This is so stupid, I am so stupid, life is so stupid. I have known for many years how I would die. By my own hand, hanging from a tree in Letchworth, with the tips of my toes lightly brushing the snow topped forest floor. No one will find me until spring when the hikers break, hunters aren’t allowed in the state park. I have always loved that place, it’s so spiritual. I just keep thinking of my body being defiled by him. I am just left in […]
Common question I have been asking myself. Life is ironic . Those who wants to live dies. Those who doesn’t stays on.
Perhaps this is what discontentment is. Yup you can say I am discontented. The honest truth is that I do not see my purpose of life anymore
I am going to start my Final Year project soon. I am worried that I will pull my teammates grades down. I am worried he will end up doing all the work.
I don’t know what drove me to start this project with him. I guess I have misjudged my capabilities again. I […]
Coma baby,
With your sick head
The doctors saved you
But you’re still dead
And through your scalp
I would like to reach in
So I could pull out
The monster you’ve been
And you would do anything to
Destroy the body that they rescued
Your sick little head
So brain damaged
And lying in that hospital bed
Coma baby
The cry of your bones
And your skull when it
Split on the road
I wish I’d find all
The lonely remnants
From your head
When it cracked open
And you would do anything to
Destroy the body that they rescued
Your sick little head
So brain damaged
You said they made fun of your body
Humiliation in your eyes when you told me
Well I’m gonna find them
Don’t you worry
I’ll make sure
They’re really fucking sorry
You said you’re embarrassed of your body
You told me you think you’re really ugly
Well my love I know you don’t see
What I see
Anything that is beautiful
People want to break
And you are beautiful
I’m afraid
Anything that is beautiful
People want to break
And you are beautiful
I’m afraid
You said you’re ashamed of your body
You’d rather die than show me
But I would love you in any
Form you take
You said […]
He handed me a pair of pliers
and he told me to pull out his teeth,
because as long as he had them he’d
use them to do bad things.
You’re cold on the inside,
there’s a dog in your heart
and it tells you to tear everything apart.
My body’s covered in teeth marks.
Your bite’s worse than your bark.
You ruin everything you touch and
destroy anyone you love.
You’re all over me.
He’d sunk his teeth into the flesh of many others,
infecting them with whatever was already inside him.
He’d broken all their hymens,
cut them open and played inside them.
Why am I here on this planet? I hate being alive, I hate waking up each morning. Why am I here!? Why did God put me on this Earth? Why am I always so sad? I don’t deserve to be here, I’m an awful person. I’ve done nothing good so far in my life. I’ve only caused pain. Pain to the ones who care about me and love me. Why do I hurt the ones I love? I wish God would have given my healthy body to someone who is sick and dieing. They deserve it. I’m not doing anything good to my 16 year […]
In april this year, I attempted suicide.
I was broke living on the streets for about 2 months in the philippines at the age of 36. Got burnt by friends and lied to by others and was left to fend for myself.
I then found refuge in a slum but having to rely on people that would spend less than 2 dollars in one day the guilt and burden was all too much.
The fact that I suffer from depression and couldnt but any medication played its part too. So many attempts to call home and ask for help fell on deaf ears. The sad […]
I am scared of everything and my only comfort is the comfort of idealizing suicide and yearning to cut and burn myself. I am afraid of an obligation I must fulfill tomorrow and I want to cut up my body so bad. If I cut I know it will be instant relief… BUT then I have to keep cutting. It’s a sick addiction – and I ain’t no spring chicken, I am a practiced and experienced cutter of 18years. I promised myself last month on my 31st birthday that my 30’s would be free of that kind of coping mechanism. My therapist is going to […]
Today, was really down, more then usual, so I had taken a pain pill. And I was thinking during the last period of the day that I was going to home and overdose on pain pills. My friend had asked me why I was so quiet, so I told her, and she told me a lot of people would miss me. I told her I didn’t believe her, she told me to go ask my Mentor, Ms. M if she would miss me. So I did. She told me she would be sad and mad. And that she would miss me. She gave me a […]
Uh so I’m John, 12 turning 13 on November 19. A little more than a year ago I started getting loads and loads of messages on instagram on my face, my body, and everything about me. I’m 92 pounds and not proud of it, pansexual, and gender queer. My family is Catholic and they don’t approve of me. Everyone keeps saying “Oh your siblings will never approve of you they’re your siblings!” But it’s not the same. They call me freak, emo dumbass, little Shit. Just because I love who I love, just because I don’t have call myself male or female. I’m atheist and […]
i cant hold on anither day. the torment i face daily is unbearable and i cant afford to get the healing i need. constant ringing in my ear, constant horrific sore throat, racing thoughts, severe insimnia, severe adrenelone rushes, hot then cold, all alone with this bs for years, i just cant do it. im worn out. beat down. the old system of praticitioners has used me as their medical guinea pig for 26+, all my youth stolen from me, not allowing me to live but instead caging me like animal, taking from me, kicking me. they dont want me to die cause thats no […]