It’s funny how the people that were so called their for u but at the end your by your self ur probably so hurt that u don’t even know wat to do either to kill yourself or overcome your self and I find it really hurtful wen u know u been thur so much yet no body could see that they just think u thank happy girl or boy but once u let one person in and u tell them ur reall life and they go n tell people ur stuff and then seconds ur called a slut or fag or nothing but no body […]
I hate bad weather days… I am absolutely useless on days like today. My whole body is in pain and I can’t focus. I want so much to do things but I can’t…it’s like my hand-brake is on and I am smoking rubber trying to get anywhere. Sometimes I just want to curl up into a corner and cry my self to sleep. Yesterday, on a post challenging all of us to tell the truth of how we feel, I mentioned that I had a arthritis flair…well this is why… I can forecast bad weather days ahead of time.
I wonder sometimes how much my physical […]
“I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges,
I see my father strolling out
under the ochre sandstone arch, the
red tiles glinting like bent
plates of blood behind his head, I
see my mother with a few light books at her hip
standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks,
the wrought-iron gate still open behind her, its
sword-tips aglow in the May air,
they are about to graduate, they are about to get married,
they are kids, they are dumb, all they know is they are
innocent, they would never hurt anybody.
I want to go up to them and say Stop,
don’t do it—she’s the wrong woman,
he’s the wrong man, you are […]
I tried to hang myself last night. I have Schizoaffective disorder, BPD, PTSD and Anxiety and Depression. I feel like I have no one to talk to and everyone that I do talk to thinks I’m whiney. I have problems with my body and the doctors don’t see anything wrong. It’s so hard for me to walk and my insurance will be up at the end of next month. I will get a biopsy on Monday and they said that it could make my situation worse, plus they are going to stick a needle in the most sensitive area in my body. It’s so depressing […]
I’ve been a shy person most of my life. It was when I entered college that I felt outgoing for the first time in my life. I’ve always thought my shyness came from an underlying fear of losing someone that I know (i.e. a friend, family member, etc.) My first experience with loss was when I was 5 years old. My brother was only 18 years old and died from a drowning accident. More recently, this past December 12th, I lost my mother. What bothers me the most about my mother’s passing is that her cause of death is unknown. The autopsy reports should be […]
The deep and uncontrollable need for that pure dark silence…Â The blissfull absence of all senses…Â I want it, but I know I am not allowed…
On a good day, the suicidal thoughts used to roam my mind on and off through out the day. At night, while in bed, no matter what I did, my mind would wander to the topic. The medication has helped…a lot, but now, with the weather being so unpredictable with rain coming and going and the humidity, my body is contributing to the reasons “why not” and is pushing past the barrier so carefully constructed by the various pills I […]
first sorry for bad english
This is the last year of my life if i dont change my life in the next 11 months i gonna kill myself so this is my story i am 25 year old and weight 45 kg(i am male) i eat 4-5 meals a day but i dont get weight, most of the time i am mistaken for a 15 year boy and its driving me nuts nobody takes me serios or always makes fun of me i dont mind about when somebody make fun of me because living in this skinny weakling body made me funny(o i just tink […]
sorry if the title misleads but I have come to the realization that where I cut is not helping me anymore.. maybe my body has adapted and realized what im doing.. well I see this vein going along my bicep.. that’s going to be my next area of cutting! its a long vein so I can make a long cut and let just the blood flow
I suffer from low self esteem and confidence, I don’t have anyone to talk to and pretty simply find this is the only way I can cope with my emotions. I don’t have an outlet(other than here) to let go.. I […]
the man runs down a wet street in london in his qwiaring hands he holds a small torso its lims slashed to ribions the man is crying… not waling tears but solum determind tears with eyes that pearst the gloom darting arownd to find some one anyone but even london sleeps and looks on uncearing the man now wet trough steps in to the light cast from the hostpitel the shineing from the figers arms is light relectid from the blood spilt from the lasharashions the blood has soked torugh the preshure bandige aplied vire a med kit and on tto the mans shirt the girl […]
I want to fall asleep and never wake up, I lie awake at night thinking of nailing my door shut and I don’t know why, I aspire to do great things but in the morning, all I can see is the futility of it all…
The blessing of the condition is that you can have the grandest dreams, the curse of it all, is that you will never see your dreams realised because they are too unrealistic…
I’m due to have my lithium levels checked. On the one hand, I hope it comes back as too low so my medication gets pushed up…on the other hand I […]
I’ve experimented with a lot of substances in my life. Over the course of probably like 7ish years I’ve tried Psychedelics (LSD, 2CE, DMT – my FAVORITE DRUG), Cocaine, Benzodiazepines (Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, Restoril, Ativan), Stimulants (Amphetamines, Adderall, Focalin, Methylphenidate, Vyvanse), marijuana, alcohol, and the best of the best: opiates (OxyContin, heroin, hydrocoone, oxycodone, oxymorphone, hydromorphone, morphine, methadone, suboxone, subutex, etc.) – you get the point. For the most part I’ve been responsible with drug usage. Things never got out of hand and addiction was a foreign concept to me. But when shit hit the fan a few years ago, I lost all […]
I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time. I just want to go perminately to sleep.
I can’t stop the need to kill myself. The only relief I get is cutting, and now I want to strip the flesh from my body so I can try feel at piece. I would like a time when I don’t have death on my mind and have a time of piece without killing myself.
Her mother has six children, five girls and one boy. She is second oldest in line. The oldest sister does nothing to help the family, never steps up to her place to aide the mother in raising up the children. There is no father around, though the boy does not step up and take the mans place like he should, protecting the women and girls. She has been taking care of children since she was 6, feeding them, bathing them, getting up every 2 hours for a bottle. She had grown tired but does not complain for she knows her mother must appreciate it somehow… […]
You Me At Six – Tigers And Sharks
Emarosa – Heads or Tails Real Or Not
10 – Short Stories With Tragic Endings
Sunlight creeps in through the gaps in the window blinds, covering the room in alternating strips of brilliant radiance and undefined shadow. It bares resemblance to this life. Fulgent memories of pain and suffering, with unremarkable and colorless […]
I don’t wanna wake up in the morning and look in the mirror to find another revolting reflection.
I dont want to have to change seveen times because i look unattractive in over half of my cloths.
I dont wanna be afraid to wear a bikini anymore.
I dont wanna worry about if i rain out of make up because if i didnt wear it i’d look disgusting.
I dont wanna constantly feel the need to look in the mirror not out of vain, but to make sure i look […]
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