When I say that I find my existence pretty weird, I mean mildly meaningless. Mild is an understatement. The new year began with the most amount of ideations that I have ever had to deal with because of a host of reasons. One being, my parents have retired from their job and my sibling and I should be supporting the family. My sibling has a wonderful job, an amazing partner, and is trying to live her best life. But here I am, still in college, with absolutely no job, no nothing. I am doing nothing to support this family. And with the line of career […]
Hey. For starters, I’m 18. As soon as I turned 18 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s the youngest you can be with this diagnosis. I grew up in a stable house hold, with stable parents, and 2 stable older brothers. Where the hell I came from is beyond me. From an early age I showed signs of isolation and poor self esteem. In the 6th grade I wrote a letter regarding how depressed I was to my teacher. No action was taken.
Even as I type this, I feel no attachment to my past. I feel no connection to the daily self harm […]
I wrote a story based on the opinions of someone I know, not all opinions expressed are ones I identify with.
“Borderline isn’t abnormal in itself, it’s the manifestation of the human condition under deleterious circumstances. Everyone has abandonment issues, everyone reacts angrily – not always externally angry and sometimes not even consciously angry – to rejection and it isn’t abnormal in itself. Borderline is the aggregation of multiple mental illnesses all into one, I don’t even understand why – they don’t even have a tangible treatment for it so what’s the point in the diagnoses?
“Borderline is a myriad of symptoms of various real mental illnesses, […]
Hello all. This is my first post so please bear with me. I am a 35 yo female struggling with several mental illnesses including chronic depression and Borderline personality disorder. Im not sure how i should be anymore because everything i have tried f-ed things up. I finally have gotten to the point i understand im not lazy, faking, seeking attn or looking for an excuse. However, it does not take away the Emptiness inside. Nor does it take away the feelings of wanting to commit suicide. I don’t understand why even on my good days small things can happen and i think i dont […]
I have no real reason to kill myself. I guess I’m being really selfish and unreasonable. My boyfriend left me oh..about month and a half ago. I really loved him..no..I was obsessed with him. I still am. After he left me I threatened to kill myself and his mother found out. He still really cares about me, he only left in the first place because he thought I could do better. It really destroyed me inside. I’ve done awful things. I’ve cut, I’ve lied, I’ve threatened to kill myself, I’ve tried to blackmail him and I’ve used other people. I feel worthless, unattractive, unable to […]
I told my two best friends that i think i need help and that i thought i wasÂ borderlineÂ anorexic. the first one laughed and said that it was okay, then she turned the conversation to herself. like iÂ don’tÂ even matter. she turned to my other friend and said ‘i cut myself the other day after not doing it for so long.’ i wanted to turn to her and say ‘yeah, well i contemplate suicide every night and you ignoring my problems because you think all anyone ever cares about is you. thanks for letting me know you want me to stay here.’
the second person i told was […]
So, my story continues. Â I’ve got spinal problems causing chronic pain which I have lived with for years, but there’s no cure. Â Just strong strong painkillers. Â I’ve got mental health ‘issues’, to put it nicely. Â I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, to treatment-resistant depression, OCD and PTSD. Â Borderline personality disorder tendancies, with obsessional-compulsive personality disorder. Â My current diagnonsense is Bipolar II with complex PTSD, chronic pain and chronic suicidal ideation.
Recently though, this chronic level of suicidal thinking has escalated into something much deeper and darker. Â I am back to believing that things definitively cannot get better; I cannot get better as I am so […]
Things would be so much easier if I knew how to not care what people think. Im waay to sensitive.
I just wanna be able to open up and let people help.
HOW DO I NOT GIVE A SHT (within reason)Â I am so desperate because I’m in a constant state of paranoia/fear/guilt. My hearts always racing aswell as my thoughts, which hinders my concentration when Im working. I dont eat much at all because the nervousness suppresses my appitite, I dont think this is a panic attack because its always there> I think I have an overactive amygdala, (always wired/startles easily even when anticipating, crys over […]