Just now getting the chance to read your comments and they were very very beneficial to my circumstances, I feel that I need to do it for some reason. I guess to prove a point that just resulted in me throwing up in two of my classes. This website has been a safety net for me since I first found it, even though I just started posting on it. Ive been up here for a while, just lurking in the shadows but it feels like I actuallly have a voice and people take the time to listen to what I have to say. Even though […]
Tag:
Careless
As I am getting close to another decade milestone, one I hoped I never reached, I feel like giving up.
I don’t feel sad. I just feel empty. As from many years ago, I have come a long way from the severe depression I used to have. (http://suicideproject.org/2009/12/perfect-life/)
I know what it is like to hate living life every second.
I don’t feel that way anymore.
I want to love people more who care about me, and check up on me. I want to have more sympathy for those people and their hard times.
But I’m like the Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock. He doesn’t care about […]
For all of my teenage years, I’ve been bullied, hated and downright depressed.
I am 19 now and have already lost all reasons for me to be on this planet. The only thing that was giving me any sense of purpose left me a couple of days ago, my girlfriend. However, this feeling has been going on for a much longer time. Only now do I wish I was killed by something.
So here I am walking around simply not caring if I were to be alive tomorrow or not. I have no job, I had been fired from my last one with no reason at all, […]
I hate the stench of stale tobacco on my clothes. I hate the sensation of being far from reality when the drugs attack my body and mind. I hate the lack of sensibility when the devils nectar poisons my brain. I hate stealing from the oblivious shopkeepers. I hate driving when intoxicated and drugged, smiling at the police officers that watch me beaming- as though they gather I have nothing to hide behind my misleading smile. I hate when the doctors tell me I am doing fine.
I’ve long perfected the ability to play the game right and pretend that I am same.
As I drive down the […]
I’m almost ready. ready for the pain to end, even if it takes more pain. I wrote a suicide letter a goodbye.I have problems if I killed myself i would be doing the world a favor one less messed up person for people to look at and wonder what I’m like. Who I am. Everyone judges people. And in this world that’s all I am to most people. I was  abused. It changes a person getting slapped for not eating. Getting kicked for crying. Getting my head slammed into a  wall because I couldn’t stop crying. It was like that every day . I have problems. They are clear to […]