I have an old friend who deals with suicidal thoughts on occasion. He told me today he was going to kill himself over the weekend but postponed until Wednesday. I know he has tried before so I have every reason to believe him. He said he tells me because I won’t judge and suffer from the same thoughts and failed attempts. Granted I never give anyone a “warning” to put them in a position to act or have to make that decision. I agree it’s a personal decision but when you bring other people into the mix the dynamic changes. So what do I do? […]
I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. First I woke up and didn’t feel myself, and since then my mood’s been up and down throughout the day. I’ve been going from happy to angry to upset, and it’s the stupidest, littlest things causing it – sometimes nothing has happened and my mood changes. It’s been like this more recently; more evident and severe within the past 8 to 9 months. My 5 year old brother and even my stepdad flinch whenever I raise my hand for anything because they know I can fly off the handle at any time.
Just earlier today I […]
Sorry, just bookmarking this change in SP History. (Edit this later)
Um, LOOK IT’S LIL’ FUCKUP!
*Runs Away*
Le Bettle.
The Ancient.
Into the dust. Millenium, this rust.
The Sphinx, of the Atlantis. God.
In the shape of Dog. What such life.
Lucifer has you by the ball. The horn penetrates.
Into the world that makes no sense.
Battle-cry. Battle-cry. Warriors of Atomic Era, tally zero.
We have already lost the countdown, thousands and millions.
The Devil in the ass. Fuck you, ************.
FBI, save my ass. Be a good cop. Be a good man.
Be a good shepherd. The blue assistance is dead.
Holy… Getting fucked in the ass. You let yourself and your mother.
Hey, that’s not how I wanna end, the night; […]
1. Would you leave a suicide note? Why or why not?
2. Any interesting suicide notes you have read?
Answer 1: Personally since I plan to just “disappearâ€, there will be no suicide note from me. But if for some reason my plan changes, I still don’t think I’d leave a note. Well, maybe some sort of encrypted note, that would lead whoever decodes it on a wild goose chase to another encrypted note, then another, then another, until the last note is something like; “Congrats! This has been as pointless as my life!â€
Answer 2: I’ve read Heisman’s and Manley’s. Actually, I didn’t read all of Heisman’s. Read […]
There’s been times in my life when change rattled me so bad, that I stayed up at night pondering the endless outcomes that could take place.
Then the flip side was seeking change so I could continue on without going mad.
Looking back, I don’t enjoy the contridictions that have taken place…..and honestly, neither change or no change sounds good right now.
Perfect time to go
After being beaten and abusea by my step farther I run away from home. i spent 2 years sleeping rough before they found me. Refusing to go home he beat me again, this time rupturing my spleen. I was in hospital over 2 months. No one came to visit No contact from any one. Sum years later I am still bitter and angry. I have a gross scar that take up most my chest and can’t take my shirt off without people looking and asking questions. I don’t sleep well and often wake up screaming. I struggle to make friends, trust people an have been […]
Hey,
So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]
As I walked home today, I realized that me–and people like me–are like lonely rocks that sit unmoved in a river. Allow me to explain.
Imagine life and all of it’s interactions–people growing up, becoming influenced, learning, meeting other people, having kids, influencing the world–all that stuff. Imagine all of that as a body of water, or in this case, a river that flows and travels in a certain direction. Kind of like how most people are; they just go with the flow and as a result, they are rewarded with being a part of a greater collective that supports them. Of course, the “river” may diverge […]
I’ve been feeling really down since the sun has gone down; not that it ever really made a difference watching the sun through my bedroom window. These days, nothing changes with me, although things and people change all around. I lie here and wait for death to come for me, eventually.
Here is a song to go with my poem –
These Days – Nico
I’ve been out walking
I don’t do too much talking
These days, these days
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to
I’ve stopped my rambling
I […]
Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pain that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see…
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The game of life is hard to play
I’m going to lose it anyway
The losing card I’ll someday lay
So this is all I have to say.
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It […]
I am lost and scared and I’m no where near fixed but I am not dead.
I still think about suicide often and I remained un-medicated until a few moments ago when I popped the first pill to happy (doxepin).
I am getting therapy. Every once in a while it will give me something useful but not often. I don’t think I’ll be sticking with it in the long run. Maybe once every few months.
I may be unable to sleep due to apnea or even my sinus being closed off because of a random act of violence back in 07′. Apparently sleep deprivation is a bad thing…
I […]
Do you ever get that overwhelming need to destroy everything? And I mean everything, the things you love included. It’s just that right now I want to destroy everything in my life. I’m sort of angry and I don’t know why. I just feel this rage deep inside me that wants to break everything, throw things across the room, tear pages out of books I adore, scream ugly things at people I love, slam doors really loudly and destroy my relationship with my friends and family.
But more than anything I want to destroy myself. Not as a coping method or as the permanent sleep […]
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