Admittedly, I don’t post prolifically, but I read the posts here every day. A lot of times, the selfishness of parents comes up (i.e. “they’re selfish, I didn’t ask to be here!”), and I totally agree with such sentiments. In fact, I’m here to post a true story that, I think, highlights such selfishness in an obviously negative way. I should mention that I’m actually not the subject of this story; rather, it is comprised of bits and pieces of blog posts by somebody named Anne McCarthy, about her son James (presumably James McCarthy). It is deliberately told in a somewhat […]
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child
I’ve thought about it many times, especially those sleepless nights, the drum beating inside the dark recess of my mind.
After the first attempt of 12 pills, then 24 pills, I decided to wake up and attend college both times I woke up from those failures.
I’ve been reading up a lot about Buddhism and about reincarnation or rebirth, and I was wondering and contemplated.
With everything that I’ve been through, and for me to cut my life short thinking that hell would probably be a better place to be in I realized, if I cop out now I’ll probably have to go through this entire experience again, […]
I am an inspiration to many both here and in my life outside. I am a preachers son, and expected to act like what I am not. I am looked upon with judging eyes everyday. I am an inspiration to the church, showing teens aren’t all the world says they are. I am an inspiration to my friends by always trying to make them happy before me. They see me as a person who will do anything to help them. I am an inspiration to my family. I have 6 siblings. One is a drama girl, the next an attitude awkward child, and the rest […]
You’d suspect temptation to be caused by lust or just plain carnal instincts. In my case my cousin was the lustful desires I had. Yet the true temptation at the moment pegs from Nycolle the first girl I fell for. (Read my earliest posts for my deranged and mentally inadequate child in me) Â Onto the point at hand, I recently created a new facebook, found her on it after finding she blocked me. I found her on snapchat as well and here is where I consider things. Should I really risk messaging her again. It’s been over 5 years, why bother my childhood love? […]
Hi I am a 47 year old woman who just wants to shuffle this mortal coil once and for all, but I feel trapped here because I don’t have access to a method that would enable a quick exit.
I am pleased to meet you all and I feel really sad for the people who feel that they want to leave the earth plane, and I really hope that you all can find a reason for living because i am sure that most of you really shouldn’t be here planning your suicide as you all deserve a happy life with loved ones around you.
I would rather […]
My body is destroying itself. Suicide would only speed up the process that had begun the day I was born.
I have a chronic illness. On a typical day, I wake up feeling as though I haven’t slept, struggle to get ready for work, barely get through work, and have to crash as soon as I get back home, sometimes without so much as eating. If I’m lucky, the pain is at a 5/10 or below. If I’m not so lucky, it’s at at least an 8 and climbing the longer I push myself through a day. Apparently my 8 is a normal person’s 10/10.
Right now […]
Hi, it’s really hard to bring myself to write this, but I need help. Every time I feel really down or thoughts that I might be depressed come to mind I just ignore it. I don’t really have it, yeah, it will go away. And it does, for about 5 minutes.
And I just feel so weak. I used to think that I was invincible when I was a child, everything was possible. But now, I don’t even have a goal in life. I feel empty on the inside.
I already did everything I wanted to do in life, I think it’s time.
I used […]
From such a young age I have experienced so much pain. Age of 8 the most dear person in the world passed away, my granddad, the only person in the world who loved me more than my parents. Age 10 turned to smoking as a pain reliever and have been addicted ever since. Age 11 got moved half way around the world to a place I had no knowledge of, came back to UK a year later for holiday only to find out my dad has another wife and a child with her who was 4 years of age at the time, having committed bigamy. […]
I really don’t know what I expect to hear, but things are so hard.
I don’t want to say I am depressed. I just act depressed, but I don’t think I am really depressed, because my daily life is not crippled yet. Might be heading there though.
I was doing just fine. About to graduate school, stressed out because I was going to go into the real world and get ready to find a job in my field. Loans were about to kick back, but my little part time was enough.
My boyfriend was with me, so was my mother, father, friends, co-workers, advisers, professors, friends of friends. […]
I’m 35, but I’ve been battling with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was a child. I was fat and smart in school. A perfect candidate for ridicule. Which I endured. Home wasn’t much better. My 2 brothers didn’t like me, and my mother is an alcoholic. My father worked all the time and when ever my mom and I would fight, and I tried to talk to my dad about it, I would be told not to since, because I was “trying to pit him against his wife, and she would win every time.” I ran away. When I […]
Just wondering what do you guys think of corporal punishment? When would you say that disciplining a child constitutes abuse?
I don’t think I can say that I was ever beaten as a child, but I was certainly slapped. A lot. The hardest I’ve ever been hit out of discipline left a red mark which lasted about 6 hours and then disappeared.. which isn’t bad at all. Personally I think the main issue for me was the emotional distress it caused rather than the physical pain. However I also think the “discipline” I received was a bit in excess.. like how many times would you slap […]
Hi,  Im deciding on whether i want to be here for my special someone, or to exit out of  life before things get even worse for me. I have never felt so alone and hopeless in my entire life.
A serious suicide attempt is not a cry for help.
It is a cry that started when we emerged from our mother’s wombs. How happy did any of us look then? And the sickening thing, the beaming smiles on the faces of our owners, I mean “parents”. How greedy parents look when that new child emerges. “You are mine”, they cry, “mine forever”. And how the child screams, shrieks and squirms to get away from them, to get away from all of it.  All of it a grotesque, bloody, display of ownership and enslavement; a foreshadowing of what is to come.
A suicide attempt is a cry for freedom from […]
I’ve been through so much only to reach this point again.
Got through my mother hating me my whole life, I get she has problems but not letting your 11 year old participate in family anythings, I mean what the hell. And then I was still expected to function like a normal child while my savior, my dad was sneaking me food. I’m past that now, she did horrid things to me but I’ve forgiven her.
Wow, forgot to mention the fact that my parents were (father occasionally) raging alcoholics put on earth by satan himself, thanks man.
Got through my dad beating me later […]
The golden gates won’t open
The flames won’t bathe the flesh
A bud in bloom
No more than a child
Beaten and abandoned
No life
No haven
No savior
Nothing but a blooming bud without the sun
And blood pours like rain from the sky
With cadavers splayed about the Earth
For God have mercy, let those beings stay in their slumber
And that pitiful bud, bloomed into a great beautiful calamity
I’m 25 and currently 19 weeks pregnant for the first time. I have been depressed all through this ordeal. In the past I’ve had a bad habit of cutting, there are 3 scars on my arm where I cut very deep on 3 different occasions. I also cut my wrist which left a scar. I have not cut while pregnant but am still very depressed. I guess I’ve been depressed for a while now. I’m stuck at the house most of the time. I worked as a barber for 1 yr but had to leave due to being harassed and have had no luck finding […]
“Final Tango”
Maybe if I pray to the Devil, it will be there for me. Duality.
I wonder if I dance, does it stand next to me, cold.
My guardian angel.
Touching my shadow.
Faces of the people.
Living a world in a lie.
Upside-down, upside-down. Why.
In futility. Trying to decipher.
Here in my abyssal nonsensical throne.
Chained, that is all I can do, and nothing.
There is no “God,” but if there is, it will save me.
Tonight, what happens. When nothing’s left. In this.
The grey. The light. The dark.
Humanity.
The battle. The war, lost.
The archives, stolen.
Evil overtaken.
How many thousands […]
So I turned to this blog last June in the hope of relieving myself of some my bottled up stories and emotions. It helped for all of 10 seconds. I’m still a closet gay (by my family’s demand and not my choice). My family would have me locked in a cage if they could, they have recently told me I’m the biggest problem my family has. I’m at university now so I’ve had a little bit of free time to experiment and be me. But being me has come at the price of my family and their respect. When I came out they took it […]
My best friend since child hood was hit by a bus five years ago while he was roller skating the image is still with me today. He wasn’t just my best friend he also taught me love has no gender, no age, no color and now hes gone. I feel guilty that he died because I was going through a phase that I was just being a shut in and not talking with people I feel like if I just called him earlier that day he would still be with me hopefully that’s what I tell myself and its what I think and what I […]
Pokémon incarnation.
Forsaken one.
Reach into hell, a trusting hand.
Let us travel slow, into the deep of void.
Oh, how fun; perhaps can it be.
A Muk, trying to become a champion.
Funk it, bust the mission. It’s the righteous way.
Muk has a freaking arm and hand, he can breakdance, all day.
At night sitting by the fire, what can we solemnly do.
Muk- I don’t mind. As long as I can breathe, be warm, and heal.
Solemnly like a granite pillar. Back through the void, of saint-hell goodness.
(Caterpie>Venemoth. Venonat>Butterfree…..)
Purple Venemoth, the token one.
I wish I could be, a butterfree.
Maybe […]