to find someone who you can truly confide in? Through my life, I’ve met a ton of people and made a ton of friends. I consider them my ‘real’ friends whom I can talk to about anything. However, with time, they’ve each proven me wrong. I just want someone. Someone who can actually keep secrets. Who actually gives a damn about me. Who actually genuinely cares about my problems. <p>
Shit, all I’ve ever wanted in life was to have that one person whom you can fall back on, knowing they’ll catch you. Knowing they’ll have your back through thick and thin. I can’t find […]
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Classmates
17. Never gone to a party. Never had a girlfriend. Always ostracised. Never had sex. When I was in high school, all my classmates looked down upon me. Nobody ever treated me well. Even since year 7 I was actively excluded from doing the same things everybody did because my friends didn’t like me and I didn’t conform. At first I thought non-conformity was cool. Only a few years later did I discover this was social suicide. The reason why I discovered “A few years later” was because everybody kept this information from me because they wanted to keep me at the bottom of the […]
It was only the first time.
I spun the blade around in my hands
contemplating if I should really do this or not.
I heard my mom yell.
Yes, I should, It’s worth it.
The blade sank into my arm,
cutting across my arm.
Not too deep.
It was only the second time.
The kids at school were bullies.
My parents just got mad.
I took the blade in my hands.
I didn’t even think about it.
I pushed it into my arm,
cutting across parallel to the last one,
A little deeper.
It was at least the 50th time.
I didn’t even have different reasons anymore.
I kinda made this profile because I wanted to tell someone my life story… And I don’t have anyone close to me that I want to share it with. So I am writing it here, anonymously.
But let’s take it from the beginning:
I’m a boy from Denmark, 19 years old at the moment, but that is not where my story starts. My story starts all the way back when I was a child. You see, I have always been bullied, first by the bigger kids in my kindergarten, then by the kids in my class in school. Therefore my parents quickly decided to teach me […]
I wont even know how to describe it. All those ways how I was acting made me feel extremely embarassed about myself. I thought I was missing out on a lot, and I tried to catch up. But instead I was making a fool out of myself. After we stopped talking, I tried to fit in, but it would only lead me to feeling more embarassed. I never cared about the future, but now I pretty much began disregarding the flow of time. It became scary for me to leave the house. I was getting progressively depressed and anxious. I tried therapy, but I never […]
It’s been tiring these past few weeks.. I can’t think anymore.. I just slouch and barely talk.. slouch and barely try anymore.. I just want to let out all of this crying but no matter how hard I try I can’t even seem to squeeze out a tear.. I always taste throw up in the back of my throat.. I can feel my veins on my temples from being stressed.. It’s too tiring.. to be human.. I hate being Human… Everyone saw my scars today while I changed and I was confronted by all of my classmates.. confronted and lectured… I’m too tired to do […]
Life has often been compared to a free-flowing body of water, …a river if you may, but what can one do if they cannot go with the flow and do not know how to swim?
This is my situation right now, I feel like I am being stranded… drowned…. left behind by the world around me. By my few friends and family… I know that my lack of social skills and shyness have contributed to that, but still I try to get along with people. However, I am slowly losing hope.
I am a failure, I have not finished college, I have recently lost a job last year, and […]
My depression is getting bad again and I want to die. I have severe social anxiety so i have no one to talk to. I can’t go to school because I am so depressed. I literally cannot even leave my bed. When I miss a week of school none of my classmates notice that i was ever gone. No one acknowledges my existance now, but i can almost guarentee that if i killed myself, the people at my school would act like its so tragic and “i was such a beautiful person.” i hate society, i hate people and i want to die. Today my […]
So recently I got my hands on some prescription medications and here we go again, that much I was tempted to take them and end it all. My outdated concepts came back to lure me. I even set the date in my mind. Thank goodness I decided to do some research first. And what I found immediately cast off all my doubts. Although those are quite potent drugs that do kill in an overdose, but however unsurprisingly, even in good combination it would take as long as 24 hours before death occurs. I certainly don’t have as much time, so I had to bitterly put […]
I am so much luckier than the rest of you. Though my suffering is constant and agonizing
mentally, and stabbing aching physically- I am easily distracted. I have not been through the horrors you have, and I haven’t 10minutes of downtime in my day. I can lose focus, breath unrestricted for a few moments each day. I am only slightly suicidal. I have yet to cut myself. This is because I am shallow and I have a reputation to uphold- to my family, my classmates, my teachers, my coworkers, officials I need to impress…..
I am so much luckier than the rest of you. And for […]
so the manager acts all nice on the phone to my mom saying how she really likes me. lies! if u really liked me you would treat me with respect and i probably wouldnt hate you. Really wanting to quit still. i have these irrational thoughts thati cant drop. how everyone knows im awkward and stuff well now it sounds stupid but i cant change how i feel it just wont go away!  infact these feeling arent entirely irrational  because my stupid manager  called me shy and nervous a couple of times and infront of my coworkers. little does she know jow sensitive i am […]
I have died in my dreams a hundred times. I have tried to kill myself several times in my waking life, which seems more like a living nightmare to me. Â In all the 20 years I’ve lived I haven’t done a single good thing. All I have is regrets, though when I come to rethink the steps I took and the choices I made there doesn’t seem to be another way I could have gone.
I have been a complete failure since my childhood. But back then I took life much easier because my childhood activities took me away from all the bad thoughts and my […]
Me?
I am a 14 year old girl in the verge of giving up her whole life away. I don’t seem to sound like Amanda Todd or any other teenage obsessed love seeking little *****. But there’s nothing left in my life I can hold on to. Everything around me feels so bland. I don’t tend to have reasons for what I do. There is not purpose left for me. I am tired, and lonely.
I am a child abuse case, ever since I was 9 year old my parents started abusing me. Beating me up to shreds, channel their frustration in me. I lost my […]
I’m so angry! Everyday I go to school and I only get humiliated by my classmates. At PE(and other classes) no one wants me as a partner. When I stand close to them they go further away from me and when they have no choice left but to choose me because there is no one left anymore they say ‘Not that one’ or ‘Tsk’ and sometimes they even yell at me if I do something wrong by mistake. I don’t get it. WHY ME? I don’t smell bad and I shower everyday. I’ve done nothing wrong with them to be treated this way.
Everytime they do […]
I came across this picture of a widely known celebrity that is not only considered a sex symbol, but is also very well respected because of his talent. Who wouldn’t want to be him? Now, I bet you anything, that if he were to be one of your classmates today, he would most likely be a bullying target. Don’t you think? When you say you are reluctant to think your situation will ever change and that you’re ugly, please think of him:
http://www.chacha.com/gallery/2535/crazy-celebrity-yearbook-photos/21479
To think I almost committed suicide last Tuesday. My plan was to hang myself in the school bathroom. Well I attempted to. Left with marks on my neck. I realized what I had going for me. I have a life and an amazing boyfriend and a family who loves me truly. I couldn’t ask for anything better. The reason why I almost committed suicide was because I was being bullied at school by two of my classmates. They both spread rumors and make mean side comments to me. One treats me like I’m nothing to her. I have some friends here a PC. I have […]
A couple of days ago I heard about Amanda Todd. It reminded me when I used to consider suicide because of being constantly bullied. Bullied by my “friends”, bullied my my classmates, by my ex-boyfriend (who blackmailed me for 2 years, saying he would tell everyone in my family what I was, what I had done and said). Then I remembered when the bully got physical. Been called names, been thrown things, been punched. No one cared back then. They would see me crying, but ‘oh, it’s ok, he’s just a teenager’. Anyway, somehow I made it through middle and high school.
Today I’m in college. […]
I have attended four highschools, all completely different. With completely new teachers, new classes, and new classmates. With each school year I’ve been that girl who rarely spoke, the girl who just went to school then went back home.I had no life, because I never opened up and allowed people to get close to me.
Every new school year my mother says I’ll find some new friends who won’t stab me in the back, but every time I’m invited to hang out, my mother says no. She claims it’s because she doesn’t know these people, and I think ‘how will you ever know them if […]
Who am i?
All of you are thinking it.
“Who is that kid?
The one that killed himself,
I think I’ve seen him before,
But I’m not sure.”
Let me put your minds at ease.
You have all seen me.
Ive always been here.
I’m the kid in the back seat of the class.
I’m the kid that you see eating lunch alone in the hall.
I’m the kid you whisper about as you walk by.
The kid that teachers never punish.
Because they’re scared of me too.
I’ve always been there,
Watching, silently.
Its funny that after only one year,
I’ve already developed my final opinions of you.
There are those of you out there that can rest easy.
My death is not […]
I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have every anxiety problem in the book. I have manic-depression. I am tripolar. I’m afraid of everything. I’m a hoarder.
There are so many things wrong with me, It’s hard to keep track of them all. It’s even harder to keep them under control. With each passing day, I feel my lucidity and self-control slipping away. The worst of it is, most of it’s genetic.
When I was little, I used to bully my little brother. I had no idea it was wrong, because that’s all people did to me. Eventually, I felt horrible for it, and I prayed that it would […]
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