When something goes wrong that you’re involved with, people blame you. You might have nothing to do with it, they might jump to conclusions based on whispers and stunted truths they’ve heard about you, or may have done something so minimal that in any other coneivable situation, no one would really give a fuck. But, you’re the one allegedly caught red handed, or the master of of everyone’s misfortune. As to whether you did tople the first domino or not, you carry the guilt and shame of always being the fuckup. It’s you who questions why you’re so useless or why you cant anything right. […]
Tag:
Conclusions
im here coz i dont want anybody that i know to know what im going through
by douleur
written by douleur
im in a position where i need that pain deep in me to end. and i dont know how..the only way that im aware of is to end everything. im in a a position where many girls have been. it may even sound common and uninteresting to many. i have lost the love of my life..the love that every minute of my life in the last 3 years have revolved. it may sound common but the pain of every person is huge..its unbearable..and its important to them. my world came crashing down. after all these years, i seem insignificant and worthless to the love of […]
By this time, like I said previously, my life literally felt as if it was crumbling to pieces.
Ever since that one night, my mother’s “friend” had made a habit of having some sort of sexual activity or sex in itself every night, my mother being “oblivious”.
That summer though, my father decided to move back to my end of the country with his fiancé and her son. I was not that thrilled about it.
For two years, nothing really changed. We had a routine developed and everything was once again as stable as it could be. We moved a few times but that’s it. […]
Hi everyone.
In me, we have that rare case when suicide is considered on purely rational grounds, without being affected by depression, any sort of life problem, nor personal relations’ tragedy. I came in here to share how it is so and to look for an rational advice about whether my conclusions are correct, and in (unlikely) case they are not, – then why it would be so (in detail), and what correct conlusions would be.
The title i gave to this message – “What for?” – is a rhetorical (for me, nowadays) question about life. What for do i have to keep living? What for do […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
 this is pretty much what I would say…
Dear Someone:
First of all, I don’t think I can explain why I’ve done this so if you’re hoping to get that from this letter, just know I will probably disappoint you. Second, also know that I have always detested suicide letters. I think it’s a load because I know nothing I say is going to matter. The only reason I can think of for doing this is so that people can’t ***** that “She didn’t even leave a note†– blah. As if it will make a difference. People will draw their own conclusions and forensic psychologists and […]
After reading one_day’s post the other day about the person on this site going by the name nolentwohundred (37m) having and inappropriate relationship with another member madetofade (15f) I took the time to investigate for myself through their various posts whether or not this allegation had any merit. I must say personally i found the whole thing to be very disturbing on multiple levels. The fact that a 37 year old man is using a suicide forum to spout his personal political,social,religious views in a blatant attempt to try and attract and influence vulnerable (underage) woman is just wrong and possibly even illegal. […]
So far, society has made an attempt to “fix me” with non-applicable laws, jesus, Zoloft and a host of other inventions to keep the masses from free-thinking. I guess society was hoping that one of these things would “take hold”, but I’ve had too long to think for myself. I’ve had an epiphany. I’m not the one who’s FU(K!NG BROKEN! Now I’m a problem. I feel justified in my thoughts and actions. I cannot be easily controlled. I question everything. I insist on relying on my own research and take nothing at face value. This is […]
According to experts you have a mental illness if: 1) You have “gross and persistent irresponsibility for social norms, rules and obligations(Antisocial Personality Disorder) 2) Actively refuses to comply with majorities – Requests or consensus supported rules -Argues often(Oppositional Defiance Disorder) It is sad how its not really your life, you are not free to live how you choose, society expects things even though it is your life. You are expected to : Get a job, get married, follow all laws,have kids,contribute to society. I just want to live for myself and do what I want to. Its sad how you are supposed […]
This is not meant as a dramatic post. I just needed to talk to people who understood the kind of pain and depression that can lead to ending one’s own life. For those of you who aren’t sure, take a look deep inside of yourself as well as around you. Suicide is, of course, murder – but it is a strange kind of murder in which the murderer punishes himself/herself simultaneous with committing the crime. The two most important things to ask yourself are: (1) is there another answer? and (2) how many will I hurt by doing this?
I am NOT advocating against suicide – […]
I learned this recently. The story is very confusing. Are you ready?
This is who I thought I was: a severely schizophrenic German boy, who was severely abused as a child, alongside his twin sister. He has a boyfriend, who also has a twin. He is in Foster care.
Who I really am: a Canadian girl, less severely abused, with no twin, no boyfriend, and no Foster care.
What happened: I have multiple personalities. I suppose I’m transgender, because all the personalities are male. I am also schizophrenic, though not as badly as previously thought. The original personality, the female birthed 18 years ago next week, is gone. […]