im in a position where i need that pain deep in me to end. and i dont know how..the only way that im aware of is to end everything. im in a a position where many girls have been. it may even sound common and uninteresting to many. i have lost the love of my life..the love that every minute of my life in the last 3 years have revolved. it may sound common but the pain of every person is huge..its unbearable..and its important to them. my world came crashing down. after all these years, i seem insignificant and worthless to the love of my life. and i dont understand why..or hoe..or even whether its possible. coz i feel the same love i felt 3 years ago..and i certainly did not see this coming. i feel like i was taken up this beautiful mountain thinking i was going to share the world below with this person..only to find out it was to push me off the cliff. i have attempted suicide a few times..but this time im strong willed that i will do it till it happens..till everything ends. nothing excites me anymore..no matter who or how many people i have around me i still feel a deep hollowness and loneliness in me. not till the few times i attempted suicide did i understand why people come to such conclusions. everything reminds me of us…everything. to me these 3 years were the best times and the worst of my life. but even at this point wat was beautiful only seems to matter..unlike for my the other half who has picked out only the distasteful moments. the promises we made each other, the kisses we shared, the gifts we exchanged, the lessons we learned together, the process of growing up…all of these overwhelmes my thoughts. i have been there during good times and bad..from weddings to the passing away of immediate family. even till 2 weeks ago he was loving and he wanted me with him. how did this change just like that?? he refuses to talk or listen to me..he speaks with so much hatred and that tears me apart! i have put everything and everyone on the line for him..myself.my family, my friends…it was all about him and only him! now..he leaves me..he lets go off my hand so easily while my hands are desperately looking to place them back into his. he treats me like i was nothing to him. how can he do that to me??!! how can the three years have not meant anything to him?? i know he loved me….and when he looks at me when im gone…he will realize that i loved him with all my heart and soul and i dont belong in this world if i dont belong too him. he will realize the pain i experienced without him. more than anything he will realize how much he meant to me and how much i needed him with me….he will realize that all the promises i ever made to him was true…the love i had for him was true…everytime i looked into his eyes it was sincere…everytime i said i loved him i couldnt have meant it any more or less than that….. will be gone soon…just needed to get it out before i do..someone needs to know my story…..