It’s been six months since I last cut myself. I tried to abandon self-harming because my parents threatened me to kick out from the house. I succeed but I just wanna do it again. I feel like cutting myself could ease the pain away again. I’m so fed up with my life. Every time I bottle up my feelings or thoughts, I will be crazy and numb sometimes. I have no one to talk to. When I try, they (family &friends) just turn their backs away from me. They would even call me “attention-whore” although all I really want is to get help from someone (not […]
Tag:
crazy
When it gets so intense I’m always back again.When I was 15 I did an art piece depicting a face expressing pain. Their eyes clenched tightly and mouth arched viciously downwards as if all was lost. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the intensity of what I feel that drives me mad and soon to sadness. This idea unintentionally danced through my painting as I realised the inspiration was an image of Lleyton Hewitt winning his first and only grand slam. Ironic huh? Being the bell of the ball and the crazy bipolar ***** whimpering away in her room. And I don’t mean […]
This world is a dreadful, putrid place, where parents destroy the hearts of children, babies are stolen and murdered, schools are shot to shit, people are belittled and berated, and innocent animals are tortured. I often ask myself what happened, why has the world come to this? And people don’t even take notice to the horrors of the world, it is like they are blind. They say ignorance is bliss and I suppose it is. I watch people and I think of squirrels, they run around so blissful and free, unaware of the impending doom of the approaching car. We are not blind. I have […]
Things are getting crazy here.It’s too dangerous.We can’t trust anyone, people are driving me mad.I think I’m completely insane.Take a look at them, they’re everywhere!.Look at them, looking at me, filling my mind with paranoid thoughts.Talking about their stupid lives, talking about me.Whispers.Pretending to be nice with me.Pretending they do care…
They try to fool me, saying I’m cool and my life is worth living.Lucky me.I know the truth.It’s sad but it’s the truth.I’m planning to get the cooking gas tank, inhale and IT’S OVER!…they don’t know.
Can I trust myself? ….
…
Things are getting really really crazy…
Well guess I was right all these months I suspected I had more damage from this hell of a relationship. I kind of suspected I had been damaged to point even if I did manage to get out of this relationship I would nvr be able to be with any other guy again. Guy approached me from behind in the store saying baby an I flipped out,i went in to a rage before I even realized it was happening  an I guess by look on my face I scared him. Turns out it was my ex and he didn’t know how to act around me […]
Oh hey, look at that, I’m here again.
Great.
I was dating the perfect guy for me. He had faults, but I was crazy attracted to him and regular sex helped me get over my addiction to masturbating. And then he broke it off, over THINKING I had an sti, and not trusting me even though I was crazy loyal to him.
And that’s not it, I’m doing bad at school for the first time in my life. I told my teachers I was suicidal to get out of a test, I’ve never missed a test of my own volition. Ever.
I miss holding him, and cuddling, and doing […]
He’s the asshole. I stick around after all he did to me because I care about people, way more than I should. I get a message that he’s afraid he’d hurt himself, and I freak out and unblock all means of communication so he can talk to me because I kept thinking he was DEAD, and then I hear he’s all ok, just fell asleep and didn’t message back because he decided to play his damn computer games. I say one fucking thing wrong, ONE, and he goes batshit crazy, calls me all sorts of names (that I know are already true) and then says […]
You are the only reason I’m still alive, everyday I wake up for you. I wake up so that I can call you once more so that I can hear your soft voice, or your pissed off grunts in the morning when I awaken you from asleep that is so much more important then me. I’m crazy your crazy, but together we are we’ll not completely normal but less crazy. You are my light at the end of a dark long tunnel, if I didn’t have you I would have nothing. Your brown/red/blondish hair is beautiful and I love running my fingers through it and […]
I don’t really understand the point of this site. I am not being shitty or anything like that….just wondering how all of this works?? I NEED help in finding some easy way of getting “the job” done without ANY chance of survival and in hopes of finding answers since I posted early yesterday I only had 2 comments and they were to help me as in “I am here for you” and that type of thing. Thanks, but no thanks….I just am going crazy here wracking my brain and nobody understands that I WANT an END/ just an END that is all!!!! Why do I […]
I started cutting my self yesterday and I have probably around 70 scars on my left arm, and I don’t know what to do. They’re not that deep, but seriously, 70 scars are insane for what seems like the equivalent of 35 hours.
I need help, but I just can’t do anything. If my psychiatrist or parents see this, I’ll get stuck in a mental hospital. If my “friends” see this, they’ll think I’m crazy and leave me. If my family sees this, they’ll tell the rest of my family and I’ll be labeled as insane. Cutting feels so good, I just can’t stop. And these […]
Today at photography class something weird happened, the teacher made us close our eyes and relax.. the she asked us to imagine the things she said: “imagine your walking ,peace and calm, through valley.. you”re walking to a tree, the only one there… your sitting gown the tree until you see a shadow, a white one. You stand up and noticed that the shadow wants you to follow it… you get close to the shadow and you take it hand and..” then she continue but i couldn’t. As everybody saw a white and friendly shadow.. I saw a shadow that terrified me to a point […]
I am scared, and confused.
I wonder why the voices won’t leave my head.
I hear them talking all around.
I see them when I try to sleep.
I want to get rid of them.
I am scared, and confused.
I pretend that they’re not there.
I feel their presences, it gives me chills.
I touch my mind to erase what I’ve seen.
I worry that they will be around me forever.
I cry because everyone thinks I’m crazy.
I am scared, and confused.
I understand that medicine won’t take them away.
I say that medicine doesn’t help to my doctors, but they don’t understand.
I dream […]
I’ve been waiting to buy my own bottle to end my life with and im terrified. As though I can’t possibly do it, but im going to make myself. I like life, I cant stand myself and all the things I don’t know.. Im not very excited, just sad. am I crazy to feel I dont want to do this but its for the best? fuck, whats crazy anyway, I know this is for the best. why am I so afraid.. I dont want to do it myself.. it astounds me everyday that I live alongside humans that can build skyscrapers, entertain millions with their […]
Crazy thing is I feel so alone yet I’m surrounded by people. I feel like noone understands me or what I’m going thru. I went thru a recent break up and she won’t move out. It kills me every time I see her and can’t hold her or do the things we once did. I did my best to push her away and now I want her. Crazy right?!
So I’m a 14 and a half y/0 boy who started this year alright, I had friends out of school, and I had friends in school, but they weren’t my real friends and I only hung out with them because I didn’t want to be the only kid in the library. This went on for a couple months and it wasn’t that bad… at around October, things went straight downhill. I started getting lots of pressure from my parents for school, and I was struggling really hard to get all my homework done and it wasn’t working out. I tried to make myself happier by […]
http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/16/us/snake-salvation-pastor-bite/
A pastor died recently from a poisonous snake bite. He believed that if you are “anointed by God” you can handle deadly serpents without getting hurt. Adherents to this faith draw their inspiration from a passage in the Bible. Mark 16: 17-18 “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name they shall cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing , it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover”.
After the pastor was bitten he refused medical treatment. He’d been bitten […]
what would you do ?
so im wearing all the clothes for the first time since the crazy episode five years ago you people don’t understand
i havent posted in about three years and its absolutely crazy how much has changed. i was a deeply depressed little girl but now im a mildy depressed teenager! great. Â Its weird how i can be the happiest ball of fucking light and next wanting to jump in front of a 16 wheeler. I have no friends that i have actual connections with. but hey not complaining cause i love being with myself. and another odd thing about myself which i still cant figure out is the fact that im vain as hell but loathe myself at the same damn time? I think im the […]