I started cutting my self yesterday and I have probably around 70 scars on my left arm, and I don’t know what to do. They’re not that deep, but seriously, 70 scars are insane for what seems like the equivalent of 35 hours.
I need help, but I just can’t do anything. If my psychiatrist or parents see this, I’ll get stuck in a mental hospital. If my “friends” see this, they’ll think I’m crazy and leave me. If my family sees this, they’ll tell the rest of my family and I’ll be labeled as insane. Cutting feels so good, I just can’t stop. And these scars are everywhere in my arm, so unless they go away fast, someone is bound to see them. I’m screwed, maybe I should just kill myself, I’ve really got no reason to be alive. I’m getting kicked out of school so I can’t go to college, my parents hate me (as they’ve stated multiple times) so I won’t be getting help from, all my friends are using me for their benefit, my family already thinks I’m crazy, I have have absolutely no charisma whatsoever so there’s no way I’m getting a girlfriend or settling down with someone, I really am better off dead.
But whatever, do you guys think there’s anything I can do?
5 comments
You are not crazy just because you cut. Your not insane either IMO. I have cuts on both my arms, wrists, upper arms and one by wear the needles go that is huge and will never go away. I wear long sleeves as much as I can to hide them. I thought everyone would label me insane and crazy as well, and I thought I was crazy, stupid, insane etc. still do and I still want to kill myself. Most of the reasons why are addiction, childhood trauma, bullying, low self esteem etc.
You don’t have to do anything just try to stop cutting if you can. I think about it everyday and it does feel good, but I haven’t cut for almost a month. If all cutters are insane then ill be insane with you all cause this site has helped me even though its still so hard to keep living.
I think you can change, you sound like a sensible person who is not doing very sensible things. While I’ve never cut nor intend to, there was a time I was hated by my family also-it’s because I was not working and wasting my life on ‘get-rich-quick’ schemes, which I realized eventually were not working so finally I decided to get a real job.
To tell you the truth I don’t know why I keep on living either-for really nothing more than some simple pleasures in life and not wanting to miss out on the world. I know once I’m gone, that’ll be the end, it’s the only life I’ll ever have. Though to an extent I do believe in reincarnation-I’ll come back but never know of this life.
Seems to me you just need to get disciplined with yourself, go live on your own-ie get away from your family and I think you’ll be happier. Yes life is definitely harder without having a gf, I’m in that boat too-but I can’t settle for less since I’ve always dated hot girls, but I’m not as attractive as I once was so don’t really interest them. Terrible place to be. If I was just an ordinary guy who dated average girls I could’ve lived with that, but once you’ve had the best anything less is not good enough.
Anyways good luck on your path to better mental and physical health.
there is more to life bro. Go for something you enjoy most..some prefer playing videogames as their way of dealing with pain. You don’t need many friends, just one who can understand you.
@ whyyy,
you reminded me of this guy who was bullied quite a lot when he was in school (I was from a different school)…anyways one time I tested him just to see how he’d react and he caved in-I didn’t threaten him or anything, only pushed his buttons a little. I felt really bad after and really wanted to apologize to him but we had drifted apart. He was a good guy.
I’ve experienced some bullying as well but I think the bullies knew I’m not one to back down and would likely give them a terrible retribution one day. So I think that’s how I stayed fine in school for the most part.
Please email me. emptyalways@yahoo.com
I have a lot to tell and say to you but it’s very personal. Everything is going to be okay.