I can’t take it guys…. I can’t do it…. I’m so low right now.. Everyone is out and having fun and enjoying themselves without me and I’m sure no one will even notice that I’m not there, just like if I died. No one would notice that I wasn’t there. Maybe I would be a sad story to tell your children ten years from now about mental illness or what happens when people aren’t loved. Maybe those that I know will cry for a day, maybe they’ll mourn for a week.. And then it’ll be over and people will forget, slowly or quickly. Everyone will […]
Tag:
cruel
When i’m gone, don’t cry, don’t grieve, don’t write paragraphs about how much you loved me. Because, when i was in my darkest hours, you weren’t the that stayed up all night to make sure i was alright. Don’t say i was such a nice girl and wonder how people could be so cruel. Because in some ways, you were the reason i might have taken my life that night.
When i thought this site was making me sadder because i face my depression at a more intense level, i read things that do make me laugh. I am NOT laughing at other peoples misery or posts, I’m not that cruel. Just an entertaining comment here and there.
So i will continue on this site a little longer even though it makes being in denial that little harder. Or maybe I’m just going through a good cycle. Who knows
Dedicate this to the cruel game called Love.
Fuck love and all its cuntery.
http://youtu.be/cncoJB_C-m0
Original song by Chris Isaak
I like this guy’s voice better though.
Darkness, my friend
Breathless, and tired has become a regular feeling, the darkness taking over the light within. Shadows of my past, the skeletons in my closet and the words that left scars, over flow, leaving me grasping for help. Unable to move, to face the day, I lay there in quiet, letting the shadow take all my goodness and innocence and leave me empty and hollow. Rushing through my days in a haze, forcing a smile onto my exhausted face so that no one can see that I’m falling. Smiling, laughing and hiding, leaves me feeling weak and small, I am just gliding through life […]
I am perfectly happy… Then my eyes open and im back here where i dont belong… Back here where i am helpless and hopeless… Its such a cruel world… No i have to go on auto-pilot… And pretend to belong.
I’ve got it worked out in my head
I may go tonight
But i need a bottle of something –
If it works, goodbye…
Life, you are a fucking cruel joke
I’m DONE
When a thread of hope
Is snatched away
Like a bird taking flight
Why is the darkness even darker
Than it was at first glance?
Is it eyes or demons playing tricks?
Innocence mocks me with a cruel twist of time
I never belonged here or now
I don’t know how I can stay afloat in a world that is so harsh and cruel. I can’t seem to pretend, like everyone else, that it’s okay, that I’m okay. I can’t “suck it up.” If I try that, I eventually explode, which is basically what happened last night at work. I’m too weak, too sensitive. No place in the world for someone like that. Even in nursing there is so much bullshit to go around. I just don’t belong anywhere. My efforts are for nothing.
I just got hit with a wave of emotion. I am really hard on myself, it started with spending too much money, then beating myself up, then calling myself a piece of shit. Then in the afternoon today I thought I haven’t spoken to anyone all day. I feel really alone, my life is a mess I don’t see any way out. I need work , I need to get off this small amount of opiates. I need some thing, I need total change but I don’t think its going to happen. I’ve lost every thing to live for and might have to give away […]
Why does no one want me? Why do my friends always leave me? Why does no females like me? Am I doomed to live my life completely alone? What am I doing wrong? Is it me? Or are people ignorant assholes? I’m not perfect, no one is. I have flaws such as every other human does, but not so much that no one should like me…what is so wrong with me? It’s been like this my whole twenty years of existence and it just keeps getting worse every day. I don’t want to live a lonely loveless life, I want joy. I want to experience […]
My chest hurts my mind is throbbing. So much is not right. How did I get here. 27 years of age, no girlfriend and not doing well in school. Is this why I am here? To suffer alone? I am not a cruel person. I love people, I want nothing but to spread joy and fun to others. But for myself I am nothing but a prisoner breaking down slowly but surely. I would give you the shirt off my back just to make you smile. But for me I cannot be saved from this hell.
it is very tiring to feel like the only one, to blame yourself for everything, to see choices that you made that are set in stone in a cruel world. it is very tiring to now have physical symptoms due to stress and feel it is your fault, it is very tiring to be alone and constantly struggling to get around seen by no one in this cruel ass world
ptsd and sexual abuse and no family and loneliness and self-blame and no way to get around and no one who truly cares is a recipe for going home
god doesnt care either b/c god has never […]
so i just got cyberbullied by my friend he posted something on facebook and it was humiliating for me and the fact that he was my friend i didn’t do anything bad towards him and there’s other guy who helped him hes also a friend i did a lot for him now i dunno wht to do i am a good guy i never thought ill of anyone why did this happened to me i am crying for 2 days something i think i should die i am too innocent for this cruel world
I want to do it, just out of spite. Won’t change a thing for him. Maybe a little pity from his family. Good excuse to do some drugs again. He doesn’t hear a fing thing i say, thats if im allowed to talk. Save my life, bring me back for what, to torture me. Homeless isn’t fun. Thats more of an early twenties thing. Florida is hot and people are cruel. I just want somebody to give a sh$t about me.
I really just want one of you dumb fing kids to listen, but no one will. It will happen to you. You aren’t invincible. Rape, […]
I am extremely tired of ptsd. At night I hear malicious whispers that don’t go away. I woke up to the noise from the workman next door here in disability central. There is no sun today. I feel like death, like going away forever. A woman said to stay away from social media if it bothers me, seeing others doing better, she doesn’t grasp that this is a life line for me. Because of the poor sleep I hear his evil voice more often. I’m tired of wondering what this is doing to me physiologically. You know there is no god when you plead with […]
it seems everything i do now is just for attention, however i can’t tell. Am i just lying to myself and others? Am i making things up and actually fooling myself? am i really doing everything i have done for her? do i really love her? could i ask the same about my past relationships? was it my fault they ended? did i do something wrong? am i the reason my best friend is so suicidal and depressed, who is now losing her life slowly because she overdosed? is it me? or others? why does life and nature have such a cruel yet realistic cycle […]
Opiate withdrawals can go fuck off! I beat you again heroin, you cruel *****. I’m not letting you back in my life! I’m taking back control, for good.
alone and seen by nobody
she walks silently on the road
with only pain to keep her company.
she gives,
and they take,
as always.
noise comes to assault her
and she trembles,
but she is only here
to be brutalized
no one cares
for her brain.
she grows up to plod along
the sides of roads
every cruel mistake
torturing her mind.
everything set up
to make her blame
and hate
only herself,
the child is not allowed
to be angry
at the man.
she looks for love desperately
but in this world
finds nothing
but more pain.
judgment, rejection
no one can see the pain
behind the rage.
no one.
they leave her
and tell her it is because
she is not good enough
for them.
guilt a-plenty consumes her
but no one sees her
no one at all
and soon […]
So Im new here. Kind of. Ive kinda been browsing this site on an off since I first found in in 2013. I don’t even really know why I’m posting here now. I’ve never posted here before cause i felt like I couldn’t. Like I wasn’t supposed to that it was wrong to. I mean what right do I have to come to some community an post about how shitty I feel?
But here I am.
I’ve tried to kill myself several times before. And I kinda think I might try again soon. Im just. Fucking done with everything. Im just tried of being used and thrown […]