These aren’t just the sorrowed stories of failure and loss..
These are cries of the war we live! The fight to be more! The battle for what’s right! These are the violent screams we leave behind for tomorrow! With words sharper than razors, to cut deep into our wasted faith, bleeding out from who we once were, to scab over the person we so desperately desire to be!
We breath, we bleed, we sing… we sing till there is no song to be sung!
cut
I love it…
I love feeling the sharp pain as the razor slides across my skin and flesh,creating an opening…
I love the euphoric feelings that comes with every new cut…
I love feeling in control of myself…
I love mutilating myself,through cutting or any other way…
Basically,I only live to harm myself.Smoke as much as I can and hope I get lung cancer.Cut as long and deep as I can until I go to the ER to get fixed.Drink as much as I can,until I collapse into an alcoholic blackout and wake up 24 hours later…
I have learned to enjoy physical pain…As I said,it’s the only thing I keep […]
i am just ready to give up, time to cut and relieve my stress for finally.
Sick of all this stupid shit. Same thing everyday, done with it.
I’ve never cut myself, never.
Though I’ve felt the urge to. Many times. I’ve almost gone through with it but I don’t know why I never can. It makes me feel sick but curious at the same time. Scared that maybe it would trigger more numbness or anger.
I don’t think I will, but, those who do, or have felt some kind of relief from it… what does it feel like really…?
Feeling sleepy,
PURPLEPAIN
ive never want to cut so much in my life,
to feel that cool red liquid pour out of a fresh cut,
to feel that moment of relief,
to see the blood give in,
to see the blood turn to scabs then the scabs to scars,
its the best way to cope,
the only way i know,
because im sick of living this life,
tired of who i am
I wanted to cut myself but I didn’t.
I never do.
It’s like I enjoy internalizing my pain for some sick pleasure.
If I’m depressed or sad at least I feel something—
otherwise I feel nothing.
My friends tell me they care, but I know they really don’t. People see my wrists and think “ew what is wrong with that girl.” It doesn’t surprise me. I dress weird, I color my hair.. I look terrible. Why can’t we all be accepted? We live in such a judgmental world. That’s why I’m deciding to end it in a few months, just take as many sleeping pills as I can; and just cut my veins open. Cut my legs one last time. And leave a note. Explaining why I hate my life. Nobody cares until something bad happens. So mine as well end […]
I cut my stomach up today. I don’t ever count my cuts or burns but I know there’s close too a hundred. If I don’t cut I get irritable. My skin crawls. Sometimes I can go without cutting for a few weeks! It’s Rare but it’s happened! I was doing really well until today. I got very depressed because I broke up with my boyfriend and I just thought about how meaningless my life is, basically. Everything is better now but the cuts are still there.
Fuck it all.
I tried to make my friends understand what I go through,and the harsh reality hit me:I had no true friends.They were only using me while I was still usable and now that I am going through a hard time,all of them,absolutely all of them,dumped me.
I miss the days when I was together with my ex-girlfriend.We were both struggling with extreme suicidal thoughts and depression,among many other mental illnesses,and we were supporting each-other through this shit.I guess now that she got better she doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore.That’s good…It’s good…It’s all fucking good…Wish you fucking luck with that German guy you are […]
Hi there I am 19 years of age I have suffered from depression since I was younger then 10 but I always could turn to my dad always knew what to do but he died when I was 11 and I just went worse ever since I have tried to kill my self countless times and so has others I’m hated by everyone including my family I should of died I have over dosed at 13 ended up in hospital kidney trouble I have cut my self tried to slit my neck few months after got caught knife got taken I tried hanging myself some […]
I’ve made up my mind I want to die, I don’t see the point my existence anymore. The only thing holding me back is my fear of the pain before I go, I don’t want to die thinking only of the pain I want to go while I’m thinking of my friends and family… Some of you reading this may question “if you have family and friends why do you want to die it’s pointless?” and the sad fact is that I simply give up, I give up fighting all these emotions and I give up to the pain and suffering hard times have given […]
You know the time right after a really heavy rainstorm? When it’s quiet and peaceful and all of the ugliness is over – Honestly, I’ve always been a little afraid of heavy rainstorms, especially when there’s lightening and thunder. But I love when it’s over – I like to stand outside and smell the fresh air, and breathe a sigh of relief – not nervous anymore. I’m hoping that’s what we’ve finally come to – the end of the thunderstorm. I don’t want to be nervous anymore. It has been what I have dubbed “the winter of our discontent” – a seemingly endless series of […]
Just a cut.
Just a scratch.
“What’s that mark?”
“It was just the cat.”
Just an excuse.
Just another lie.
“What’s with all the bracelets?”
“Just fashion, why?”
Just a tear.
Just a scream.
“Why were you crying?”
“Just a bad dream.”
But it’s not just a cut…
Or a tear or a lie…
It’s always “just one more”
Until you Die
I don’t know if I’m full-on suicidal. But I like the feeling of a blade on my skin, the blood running down my ankle, my neck, my arm, whatever it may be. I like the numbness it brings. Maybe that’s why I cut, to bring on the feeling that makes sure I can keep going for another day. But I was found out when I actually cut a word on my wrist. My docs blamed it on a medication I was taking, but I know better. Are any of you scared someone will find out that you’re suicidal, if people don’t know? Are you scared […]
It makes me sad to think more than a year ago I wrote my suicide note. I’ve been looking through my old diaries and posts and realised something,i’ve never really been happy in life. Even my diaries from my childhood I was writing about how sad I was. This past year has taught me a lot about myself and the world. I guess I never really had a chance in llife to start with. I grew up with a mother who constantly lies,use to be in a mental home and is horrible. MY dad is the only person I can rely on for the truth,but […]
Novelist Graham Greene played Russian roulette as a teenager
If the first volume of his autobiography A Sort of LIfe is to be believed, then the novelist Graham Greene did not have a very auspicious childhood.
His earliest memory was of sitting in his pram atop a hill, with a dead dog at his feet. When he was five, Greene walked with his nurse close to an alms-house, outside of which a crowd had gathered. Suddenly a man rushed forward and into the building. It was said he was about to cut his throat. Greene and his nurse waited among the wide-eyed spectators, until the man appeared […]
I opened this account around a year ago I think. I’ve referred two of my friends to this cite for things they couldn’t talk about. And I still have other friends with depression. I don’t understand the double standard of “I can be in pain, I can cut, I can try to die, but you can’t.”
I haven’t cut since High School. I worked myself up and away from the self destruction. Now, as I sit here and watch the red run, I wonder how I allowed myself to get back to this place. Blood truly is thicker than water…
I don’t know how many times I’ve started to type. “H-E-“, No! Stop! People have their own problems and worries. Why should they stop to help me? Would I stop to help me? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard my inner voice scream with the intensity of a million suns. Many people read this post and think, “Oh, it’s just another chick asking for attention.” I honestly wish that were the case.
The darkness is getting darker, and the sun has faded away. I no longer see light, just softer grey’s. My hope has flown away with birds. I’ve cut communication. I can no […]
Can someone please tell me how to tell one of my stepsiater that I have cut myself! Her other sister has been in 3 mental hospitals and has cut herself. But idk how to tell her because when I tell her about one thing, she says is that all? And I want to tell her so bad!! Help me please! When should I tell her?