Do you remember when your breaking point was. When you finally couldn’t take all the darkness that you felt around you. The moment you let yourself down.. The moment when you didn’t give a shit if you died or lived. I remember it and I have the evidence for the rest of my existing life. I only cut myself on the left side of my wrist. Why ruin your other wrist. Just put the pain all in one spot at a time. Just look at your artwork of scars. I remember when the breaking point was. I promised my self I would never harm myself, […]
cuts
The cuts aren’t even that deep. They bleed a little and i wipe away the blood. They’re not that big nor that small. The cuts don’t hurt they just sting. It feels like I have poured alcohol over my cuts, that’s how bad it has started to sting. I guess I deserve the stinging because I cut myself.
TL;DR
I did something stupid today
How is it, that we just can’t help doing things, we know, we will regret after, be it little or big things.
Even things from the past, that we should learn from, we always manage to do again, despite knowing we will end up regretting it badly.
Not a big thing, not like other mistakes that have been made, but still.
I went to the store today, don’t know why, didn’t really need it, knew it would be a problem, still did it.
First 50 yards wasn’t bad, then as I got near, and the people started to appear, I could […]
Despite feeling helpless and suicidal through the later part of middle school and all of high school and college, I had never cut myself. I had never really felt the desire to.
But now, things are different. About 2 months ago I was very depressed and I tried cutting my upper arm and my legs. I wasn’t very good at it, so little blood came out. The marks went away about a month later.
But since then I’ve cut 3 more times. The 3rd time I cut, I cut my stomach and my lower leg. I work at home now, using my computer for 95% of my […]
The day he was born I no longer felt alone.
He was mine to protect.
I failed.
That night, he saw.
He saw my blood.
He saw my cuts.
He heard my tears.
My biggest failure of all: I failed him.
I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times […]
I thought that given the nature of some posts I’ve read recently, that I should share with y’all my scars. These pictures were taken today, October 7th, the cuts were made on August 19/20. They are still very bright, very noticeable and often very sensitive. For a time, the sub stitches, non-dissolvable, were getting rejected by my body and were pushed up through the semi-healed wounds. I kept having to take cuticle scissors and cut the threads down in the hopes that I would be able to unravel the knots and pull the nylon out. I think I got a few out, but the rest […]
It all started when I was in 7th grade. I was a fat harmless lol girl who always minded her own business. Then all of a sudden everyone started calling me really hurtful names like trash , fat , whale , fat ***** , fat ass. They would always tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough and they would tell me to kill my self that no one would miss me. Id run home crying Locked my self in my room and got the blade and cut my legs and stomach where they wouldn’t see because I didn’t want them to see that I was hurting […]
I hesitate to post. In a way, looking forward to responses here is another tie to cut when all I want is to be free of such anchors.
I don’t yet have the materials for the death I want and I so desperately want to have that one last moment for myself when the day comes… But I fear I’ve run out of time. I can’t shake the dread of living, the longing for dying, and the dissatisfaction of my entire existence. I don’t know how I will make it through the week. I don’t want to make it through the week.
An empty life finds itself […]
So i didnt cut, but i started. i startd cutting since Thursday the 11th. I made a big cut and deep, but i treated it. Today i have around 20 cuts small but bleedable. On thrursday i also told my mum about the voices ive been hearing in my head telling me to kill myself. She told me that shes going to have to take me to therapy. Im actually happy. First, because ill get help. Honestly i dont want to die, ateast not yet. Second, ill be happy and carefree. Nobody nows about my cuts and the voices in my head only my mum, […]
Sometimes I want to end it all
Sometimes I want to die
Sometimes I want to run away from life
Sometimes I want to join god
Sometimes I want to go visit my grandpa
Sometimes I want to cut myself deeper taking the risk
But then I think of all the people who care
All the people’s hearts I would scar
I can’t be selfish because I want to end it
I don’t want them to cry
I stay because I don’t want them to feel my pain
I have pain that they don’t need cast on them
I’ll take everything because I love them
I can try to convince myself that they will be better off without […]
A lot of people say that your Senior year is supposed to be supper easy as hell and the most fun that one can have, so I must be living the wrong life. So far, my life has been filled with pressure and stress and I am emotionally and physically tired.
What could I do to release some of the stress I’ve been living? What else is there besides cutting?
By now I’ve cut multiple lines into my skin, creating a twisted piece of artwork that is full of scratches and swelling cuts and the one problem I have is how I can’t tell anyone else what […]
So it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here. I’ve started cutting again, continued to purge and restrict, and also binge. I’ve been depressed for two years… I might not commit suicide just this second, but soon I will end my life. I’m not sure when I will finally break and not be able to handle it anymore. Nobody notices that I’m not okay.
Nobody notices the sadness in my eyes.
Nobody hears the voices in my head
Nobody notices the vomit in the toilet.
Nobody notices the cuts on my skin.
Nobody notices the stash of laxatives.
Last week I slit my wrists, all the way up my arms, multiple times. Anywhere I saw a vein, I sliced hard and fast. Amazingly it didn’t hurt. Earlier that day I went to the store and bought a brand new kitchen knife, for exactly this purpose.
I’m still alive. I cut myself so badly that I turned my bathtub full of water dark red. I saw the blood spurting out of my veins. I wished for death. Irritatingly, my veins stopped bleeding after only a short time. So I found veins on my legs and ankles to slice up. I’m fair skinned, so finding them […]
I’ve already had mine kissed. I wish everyone who has scars know how it feels to have someone who loves you kiss your scars, and promising you with their lips, that they’ll never let you do it again.
Our eyes met,
and for some reason I just couldn’t resist you,
I fell fast and so did you.
But then the sweet words you called me turned sour,
the touching wasn’t so gentle anymore,
you left bruises and scars,
but somehow it felt better to go through this pain with you,
than without.
I never believed in God,
but I started praying for death,
hoping some greater power could take me out of this misery.
Your mean words became my reality,
and my bruises you left on my body never healed,
they were permanent.
I left you, with swollen eyes and a heavy heart,
never knowing if I would find someone that would make me so miserably happy.
Let’s say heaven and hell were real, would hell be a place on earth? All of this hate, anger fueled by lust, greed, power. If we were really the way “god” wanted us to be, then what is god? Is he hate? Anger? Lustful? Greedy? Or is he just puppeteer who get’s a hard on when he cuts one of the strings from the marionette? What if after we die, we keep on being reincarnated, to live this hateful torturous life for all eternity? There never really is an “end”, even when we live, we’re not really living.
down long rodes we ride
no light insite no end near
scars on my arm like wrighting read only by me
i know evry line ever virse
i know the name of ech of the people who put them there
im a cobweb the strans are cut in to my flesh
i cach no flys just pane and greef
my head is a monster ready to rip my heart out
it sends me screeming in to the nigh
“that girls not really there”
the girl at the end of my bed isunt there
the blood on the floor isunt there
im a child […]
hate every one – say anything
I’m a basic white girl who cuts herself. Or rather, I did. Ever since I got put on zoloft in January after my parents found out I sh’d, my life has steadily improved and I have strengthened my relationships with friends and even my family. I no longer wallow in my own sadness or make suicide plans.
I miss it. I miss being depressed so much. I don’t know why; I never got any special attention while I was down in the dumps and I barely had any friends. I consider myself happiest when I’m unhappy. It’s stupid and ridiculous and feels selfish. But I just […]