So ive never been a blogger or anythig but I would like to share my story so people can relate. When I was younger I was bullied at home and at school. My dad was always very mean to us whicj is sadly common. I was a very sick child and they thought I would die at an early age. I was very skinny where you coul see all my ribs and my eyes sunk in. People often made fun of me at school for being so sick. I was bullied all through elementry school for being ugly,sick, and dumb. Life was very hard for […]
Tag:
Darkest Before The Dawn
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
Every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn
And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around
All of these questions’ such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
Its always darkest before the dawn right? Where did the fucking Sun go?
by Stoshua18
written by Stoshua18
Well it’s been an interesting time in my life. I’ve spent almost 2 months of it in a mental hospital separated with a girlfriend of almost 3 years, mother of my third son who will be 2 tomorrow. Â Started a relationship with another woman who I have to say, I love dearly. Â I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I can’t bring myself to live a ‘normal’ life where I am a responsible adult and 9-5 and family one weekends. I left out in disability in December of last year about 3 months after FINALLY seeing a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with […]
In June of 2008, I was a stoner, and an alcoholic. I tried comiting suicide by taking at least a full bottle of pain killers. because my mom grounded me. I wrote about it in my journal of course. I believe my words were:
“I wish my mom would understand what im going though, i dont know if i really want to die, i just wanns scare her”
Â
i fell asleep, then woke up with this incredibly uncomfortable feeling. I was burning, like my blood felt weird. and i was getting hives everywhere. my mom came home. I told her i ate bad food and felt a little sick. […]