just something ive been thinking about. i want to love and be loved back. i want to have friends. i want to get married. i want a girlfriend. i want to not be lonely anymore. i know i will never have any of these things. so i made a new list. i want to finally get the courage to cut my wrists, the real way. i want to be alone forever. i want to walk aimlessly around in the pouring rain by myself as long as possible. i want to cry every day, whether its crying myself to sleep and waking up with tears still in […]
I have been trying not to kill myself for 7 years now and i cant take it anymore.My mother died when i was eight and that when i had my first suicidal thought. After that my dad would look at me and my brother avoided me because i look like my mom. They still acoid and ignore me today. So i start to escape by good to school and staying after. But i was picked on everyday for acting like a boy because i was razed by boys. I had friends though and it was better than home. Than we started moving a lot and […]
Anyone who said that today, after what’s been happening lately in the world, needs to be shot in his/her head.
This is exactly why there’s so many society problems nowadays, and so many stressed, depressed and even suicidal people on the left and right everywhere.
This is also why society nowadays is so in a mess, education fails, but wars thrive on.
Fuck it.
Deep down inside we should know that we’ve been brainwashed a lot and a NEW theory needs to be rewritten if humanity wants to survive for BETTER future.
Deep down inside each and every one of us I’m sure know that human’s […]
Part 2 of the 16 series
so far very interesting & mind-opening…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cMcoikRddw
I hAte my life. No one ever tries to listen and I feel worthless. I hVe nger problems and maybe depression and bi-polar. My mom tries to make it work between us but it always goes wrong. We fight everyday. She never Gets me help with my anger. Everyone gates me and can’t stand to be around me. I’m not trying to make them hate me I’m not saying mean things. I’m just being me. No one ever listens or even tries. The next gun I see im going to shoot myself in the heart or brAin! Which ones faster? My dad never wanted me. […]
I kept seeing movies and artworks like The Matrix, Avatar, Trons, Paprika (a 2006 anime, you guys have to really google youtube the trailer to know what I mean!), even from video games such as Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc
and then suddenly I ponder and saying to myself wow, all these humans’ creations & imaginations are really really fantastic and mind-blowing, that I wish they would be the real heaven, instead of the biblical heaven!
I mean gosh..it seems to me that the idea of biblical heaven seems to be: gold pavements (ew, boring), playing harp in eternity with God (ew, boring boring), and […]
Last night I’ve seen some posts that talks/mention about existential nihilism, and I think I used to have great discussion with my little brother about this..quite interesting.
However, like I’ve said before in some posts here, since “Hope” is always seem to be inherent in each human being (seems to be our given Nature), then it’s only logical for me to try to find the ‘loophole’ with that branch of philosophy (by now I’m sure we all know that all kinds of philosophies & even science can always be found the ‘loophole’ and sometimes for a Good purpose to improve for a better ones, this is […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-ufE76lO7Y
It’s been a feeling I’ve had for a while now. I don’t know what to think of it, why it started, or when it will end, but It’s been going on for quite a while.
I hate my home life. I was adopted and don’t know my birth parents who still talk to my parents about me. I have an 18 year old sister who wants nothing to do with me, a dad who spends most of his time in his office at home or at work, and I have a bipolar mother who is mostly mad at the stupidest things. I do the best I […]
I like sooo want it over. Take the white pill, swallow it whole and everything will be okay…that’s the best advice I have ever recieved. Just kill me now.
In previous topic before this, I’ve talked & admitted about how I’m still jobless now,.and still living with my parents. I feel so ashamed, and especially for my parents, who are admittedly much more ‘practical’ than me & my ‘head-in-the-clouds’ imaginative personality,..which can act like a damn “curse” quite often. and all the ADHD, bipolar, easily bored/depressed/lose focus,..stuff like that!
So now, here I am,..almost 29 yrs old,..and still a fucking ‘loser’ as far as I can see..
and although as much as I often said that I don’t CARE about what society (even my family & parents & relatives!) keep saying, bombarding, pressuring, and […]
1. Are you now studying (school/uni?), or working? at which field/career? does it suck, or you enjoy?
2. And for those of you who are both not studying and working, how do you ‘finance’ your everyday living?
do you still stay (& provided) with ur parents? or…?
As for me, I shamefully admit,..I belong to the 2nd category, and yes, I still stay with my parents,..despite my age of almost 29 yrs old…. this is really pathetic/sad, especially in the eyes of my ‘practical’ parents AND society!
It doesn’t even matter a shit whether if people often are ‘surprised’ by my intelligences, deep […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuVuMslQWGs
Powerful.
Just want to share.
Watch it ’till ending,
and get enlightened
for the power of your choices and Life
…before ending it all.
I need a list of ways to kill myself. Please give me details.
Here’s a short bio:
I’ve been depressed since I was about 12. I’m 19 now. I tried killing myself when I was 17. I took an overdose of Lexapro and antihistamines. I probably took about 90 pills in all but I did not die (obviously). I spent about a week at the hospital. They changed my meds and released me more messed up than I was before. Since then I’ve still thought about trying to kill myself again. I still want to go with pills but just in case I need alternatives. Please give […]
this is my first time writing here. I usually don’t like to share my feelings with people but i really just don’t know where to go. I lost my dad to cancer about 5 years ago ever since i think about him every night he was my best friend i started high school this year and its is i dont know most people that know me would say i have a pretty good life i have “tons of friends” or at least what i thought were friends and i am a star football player but what people dont know is that everyday im taunted […]
This might proves to be very interesting (and mind-opening) to watch for 10 minutes,
perhaps it’s heavily related with how almost everyone here often feels.
it’s time to re-think our ‘old’ notions about survival and living.
getting more interesting..
I cant take any fucking thing anymore. Everything in my life gets worse and worse. It all started when I dropped out of school when I was 15 (I’m 17 now) At the time I thought it was a good decision but now that I think about it, it wasn’t. 😐 I was getting bullied so bad to the point where I was too depressed to even go to school. I thought that dropping out would stop my depression, but it only made it worse. Now I feel like a fucking low life. I stay at home all day and barely ever leave the house […]
So you really want a f’in meaningful Change?
Not to be another walking zombie, just merely ‘existing’ & ‘surviving’ in this pathetic, rotten world right?
trust me, I can feel and relate totally with you..
Well,..here’s a BIG idea that might make you think & ponder a bit tonight (An idea is always better than nothing right?) :
what if I tell that it’s not our world that sucks
(eg: our Planet Earth, nature, animals, beauty of Nature, etc),..heck, it’s not even ALL humanity that sucks (eg: ALL humans & people you’ve met & encountered. ALL of ’em).
No.
It’s the System, the FEW Powers-that-be that CONTROLS the System,
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead.
What happened in Egypt is the real, solid proof of this quote.
No one before probably could predict nor expect that this kind of huge thing could ever happen, even in year 2011,.but it DO…ES and CAN happen!
Hope is not all lost.
sometimes I just feel that I don’t belong in this “real world”,..I’m such a “head in the clouds” person and NOT a ‘practical’ person,..which is unfortunately everything this so-called “real world” really needed 
how many of you here can relate very much with what I’m saying here?
and how do you handle it daily?
by ‘grinding’ through it?..like a machine?..
or by ‘creating’ your own reality, or even an alternate reality of yours?
by escaping frequently?..
*sigh*..this real world can be way too dull, uninspiring, bland, and ‘dry’ for my vivid imaginations…