I have been trying not to kill myself for 7 years now and i cant take it anymore.My mother died when i was eight and that when i had my first suicidal thought. After that my dad would look at me and my brother avoided me because i look like my mom. They still acoid and ignore me today. So i start to escape by good to school and staying after. But i was picked on everyday for acting like a boy because i was razed by boys. I had friends though and it was better than home. Than we started moving a lot and it got bad again. After a couple year we settled down in Oklahoma for 3 years most of my suicidal thought left and i only tried to commit suicide once or twice. Then my best friend start acting like a ***** to me and did everything she could to hurt me. I lost all my friends and school became worse than home. Than i lost my last two thing that kept me happy. And everything was hell and i tried to kill my self at least once a week. Now my dad get my a me more than ever and just yells. Most of the time he just ignores me. Now i feel like just cutting my neck or drinking nail polish remover. I feel like one more bad thing will push me over the edge and i will kill myself. I’m only 15 and I’ve tried to kill myself over 50 times.
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No offence, but there was probably a reason you failed 50 times.
Fifty times? It’s time to give up the will to die. Death obviously isn’t an option, so my hope for you is that you will find something or someone in your life that makes it worth living. I’m very sorry to read about your painful life, but people have inspired the world by surviving these things before. Who knows, you may end up being one of them.
It seems that you are really in a very sad state. I understand your feelings and I am sorry that you are having a difficult time. However, please remember that these sufferings are only temporary. It is easy for me to say to be strong and don’t lose hope because I am not in your situation. But let me tell you something, when I was 15, I have also a very rough time. There are times that I wish that I will just die because of the negative experiences. Although, whenever I read books especially literature, it makes me happy. I created my own little world— like I always go to the library or bookstore, a place that it is quiet where nobody could harm or bother me. I was bullied and experience a lot of physical and mental abuse from my classmates and family members. For some reason, I ended up studying so much so that I could block all the negative feelings. In my opinion, these sad experiences you are dealing right now are challenges to make you a strong person — maybe you could make an art work expressing all of your thoughts or feelings. You are so young and have a lot of good things to experience, so please do not try to kill yourself. Please don’t lose hope.