In the holdup, can you feel-it’ shake-it
What can I ignite about all from a dead-past
All the way to the
I’m so far-away, I’m so far-away
From the deepest-vines of the fronts
Here to destroy the iron in gold
But I’m so far-away, all-the-way to the burial
In the holdup, can you feel-it’ shake-it
I’m trying to get a hold of, him
Here from where I stand, justifying every-grain, in light
I’m asking, I’m here, for the wisdom, power, and heart
Am I at war, can I be your comrade against-it
So far, away
Tag:
destroy
I can’t kill myself because it would destroy my family, but I don’t want to live. My mother died 6 weeks ago. It occurred to me then that I might be free to end my life, as I have thought about doing for a long time. She was the main reason I could not kill myself, because I believed that doing so might literally kill her as well. Now that she’s gone, though, I look at my sisters and see how much they depend on me and each other, and I still can’t do it. I have a good family. I can’t act on these […]
I hate who I was and I don’t like who I am. Its hard to move on when your past is always looking at you. I can forgive myself, but I can’t forget the things I had to go through and had to subject others to go through. I was an ass and I admit it. I’m immature and scared to live my life. I joke when it is unnecessary and hide away from my life.
I say the wrong things a lot and just don’t understand people. I have no friends and am literally in the definition of a loner. I cannot connect with people my […]
I am so full of hate…despair…anger…hopelessness…desperation…that I feel as though I would explode. and I usually do…and like a black hole’s singularity, I collapse up on my emotions. there I’m lost in the silence that follows the chaos I’m surrounded with,
I’ve longed for death since I was a boy of 10. I don’t know how or why it started, but the darkness in me out grew me. the depression engulfed me. the sadness drowned me.
and in my few sane episodes, I boil with the anger that pushes me to madness. in those moments of my own version of sanity, I look to the […]
Life can be full of pain.
Most people have difficulties dealing with every day life,
and it’s more serious circumstances.
Some people are luckier than others,
they deal with mundane and less serious things.
Some aren’t so lucky.
What led me here?
What led those I have cared for here,
in this down in life state?
Monsters,
they don’t care for the consequences of their actions,
only their selfish gains.
Do monsters feel pain?
Do they know the depth of damage they cause others?
Do they know the lives they destroy?
I don’t believe in karma.
There is no ‘being patient’ for karma […]
I’m looking for a short term coping mechanism that allows me to remain functional and that won’t lead to a downward spiral that damages my family – something I can keep hidden, and that won’t ruin my health and make things harder long term.
I don’t fancy cutting – I don’t like scars, or the sight of my own blood.
I’ve never found alcohol particularly effective, and the lives of alcoholics seem to unravel frequently.
Likewise, other recreational drugs seem to lead to a downward spiral. I don’t wan’t to end up on the street, or forcing my family to intervene, or getting a criminal record.
I haven’t really […]
Tunes in the drop
Indeed, dead and sinking
Nobody and everything
The light that I don’t have
Shining all around
The only that isn’t natural
Something growing from outside
Shining all around
The hazard of all arrive
From the pierce underground
Looking from space and is everything right
Dragonyte, fly me back from never never-land
Take me, are you “Angel”
Only isn’t alive
Continuum there is a vacuum of void in spiritual
That is only, left from the arcane, tied and upside-down
You are the Sacred-Clown, I bow down
Something […]
He handed me a pair of pliers
and he told me to pull out his teeth,
because as long as he had them he’d
use them to do bad things.
You’re cold on the inside,
there’s a dog in your heart
and it tells you to tear everything apart.
My body’s covered in teeth marks.
Your bite’s worse than your bark.
You ruin everything you touch and
destroy anyone you love.
You’re all over me.
He’d sunk his teeth into the flesh of many others,
infecting them with whatever was already inside him.
He’d broken all their hymens,
cut them open and played inside them.
Well, ok I do have SOME reason to be here. I have a story, a few actually, I like to share and write so this site seems perfect for me. But for right now I’m fine, not perfect but fine. I’ll share more of my stories on here later, but for right now I want to get settled in. I’ve been depressed 4 times in my short 16 years of life. 3 of those were real, mature depressions and I’ve been suicidal twice. My last depression nearly killed me. I’ll explain later, but I had also had an anxiety disorder and that opened the door […]
Fight your enemy.
First destroy his heart,all he loves, and all who love him back.
Next destroy his mind and philosophies.
Finally, cripple him with a single shot.
Now I lay in a state of nothing.
I am dead yet alive for I have defeated my ene-me.
I’ve lost count of the years since he’s been gone, but today marks another. Today, October 25, 2014 is my soul mate’s 19 birthday. Every day I think of him and every time I do I ache to hear his voice again. I’ve been doing pretty good with my depression, even got a new boyfriend…but every time this day rolls around…my resolve breaks. I realize everything I’ve done and built is nothing and worthless. Nothing is the same without him and it never will be. I’ve never felt so miserable over someone before for so long…his loss has made me unable to care or love […]
“Rot; S.O.S. Nebula, To Lugia”
These beats are so deep like you
I am, I forget the next line
I am such dead and it so hurts
Can you be, can you know
The ultimate, the multiple
All in the arcane, so dark
I go to become, the crazy Machamp
Weezing, Muk, and Arbork
Green, can you be a Victreebel
But you are, Bulbasaur
Or are you something else
I want to be a Hitmonlee, headless
Doing my Kung-Fu to the death
Strange, shattered and the feeble
Do I bust a triple
Indeed I go to go die
For me to die from the chain
I need the power, mythical bird
In my rotting blood destroy […]
I met a boy. He asked me out. And I was excited. Until I remembered.
I come from a different world than him. I come from a world that preys on the innocent and the ignorant and rots them from the inside out. I come from a world that takes pleasure in pain, in blood, in tears. My world is the worst kind of war, the worst kind of pain, the worst kind of silence.
And I have a responsibility to never let him into that world. I cannot introduce another innocent, beautiful soul into this darkness. I cannot let the pain take away his laugh and […]
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
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