Where to start..
I guess with how I’m feeling right now. I’m doing awful. And by awful I mean I want to kill myself. I wish that sometimes I would get the guts to try it again. Or I wish I would have died the first time.
My boyfriend has depression as well. And when he is having a bad day he just goes home. (Normally he stays with me as we mostly live together) Like today he got off work early. I didn’t know what time because he never told me. He just said he was having a hard time and didn’t want to […]
Tag:
Different This Time
well a lively chat today. i was surprised that you had already read last nights post. and surprised that you would be offended by that surprise. seriously my cynicism has everything to do with my self loathing and not your personal or professional capabilities. my previous therapist never called me at the hut . and i know that i am just one of many that you see. i did notice by the way that you zinged me pretty good. yes i know that killing myself would leave a mess for others to clean up. both literally and figuratively. i also know that my family and […]
Well today’s the day. Sunday. The plan was to end my life tonight. Leaving a couple different notes addressed to different people. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. Planning since the beginning of the school year, which started August 27, the day before my birthday. The plan was to wait until after my parents went to sleep, then go do it. My method is not the most preferred method out there, in fact many people hate it and think it’s like THE WORST one. But I have my reasons and I have tried twice before, failing obviously. Waking up in a hospital room surrounded […]
I’m really confused this month, I feel like shit. I haven’t felt this sort of way in a while, usually I’d just shrug it off as me being a little ***** (and maybe it is), but it feels different this time.
About a year and a half ago I fell in love with this girl who I sort of dated for about a week, and by that I mean we live a city apart so we didn’t hang out physically very often, it was mostly over Skype and Facebook. But I really really liked her, she meant the world to me. Up until then I hadn’t […]
STOP telling me its going to be okay.
thats your advice for everything
STOP telling me ive changed.
i know, it sucks
STOP telling me you care.
you dont
STOP telling me its different this time.
it isnt
STOP trying to make me stop cutting.
it helps me more than anything
STOP telling me i need to talk about it.
i will when im ready
STOP telling me this isnt healthy.
you dont think i already know?
STOP leaving me.
i cant take it anymore
STOP freaking out if i dont answer the phone.
im not going to kill myself
STOP breaking promises.
why make them in the first place?
STOP trying to make me better.
i need you to succeed
STOP believing im strong enough to get […]