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Tag:
disappointing
I’m tired of pretending to be ok. I’m tired of not feeling well. I’m tired of lying. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of disappointing people. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of being anxious. I’m tired of being embarrassed. I don’t know what to do. I’m miserable.
Things I tell myself on a daily basis..
They probably think you’re so stupid
They think you’re a joke
Why are you like this
Why can’t you be something the can be proud of
Why can’t you do anything right
You never fail at disappointing people
You created this whole shit fest of a life that you’re stuck in
Lay down and wither away
Don’t cry.. Do not cry
You’re such a fucking coward
You could never possibly be good enough to be likeable
You have never and will never finish anything because you fail
You will never truly be worth someone’s time
You are nothing..
Rot […]
1. My dog.
2. nothing else.
Things I won’t miss
1. Disappointing everyone
2. Putting everyone on edge.
3. Messing up on a daily basis
4. The friends I thought I had.
5. The fact that you moved on before you’d scrubbed my blood off of your doorstep.
6. That you told me to die because I said I loved you and I needed your help.
I am sorry if you thought I ever blamed you, I really didn’t and I still don’t. You never were the cause of my problems, but I tried to make you the solution. I hope you’re happy in everything you do. I hope you never tell your kids […]
People say that I’m selfish, how can I give anything if I have nothing to give? I have no job, no car, no money, no nothing. How could I be so selfish if I have nothing myself? People say that I’m conceited, how am I conceited, I’m not even pretty anymore, There’s nothing in it for me, I’m disappointing people without saying a word, why am I such a failure?
I’m trying to organize things before I committ suicide. (I was thinking of saying, “do it” or “take the big sleep” or something, but there’s no point in talking around it- my plan is to commit suicide, plain and simple). This will probably be part 1, since I’m sure I’ll think of other things to do.
1. Most important and I know the hardest. Write my son a letter and tell him how very very proud I am of him. Honestly, I’m crying now just thinking about it. He’s 18 now, a man, and a fine one- so at least that’s one thing I did […]
I have no creative outlet or any way to express myself because nobody wants to hear my doom and gloom, so I just bottle everything up and become more jaded each day. There’s nothing to look forward to but all that is dead and lifeless, like video games or computers. I’m not looking forward to college because I’m already tired of living a life that is all about money, and I don’t want a relationship because all of my experiences have been weak and disappointing, and I’m not too fond of human nature anyways. It feels like I will have to choose suicide as an […]
A quick disappointing blur. That is what my 23 years have been so far. Maybe it isnt worth dying over. Maybe its not that bad. I have always doubdted myself at every turn, ever since I was a young boy .When I learned that i didnt know my father because I am the product of a drunken one night stand. My biological father was not present because he had to take care of his REAL family. I now have severe social anxiety, its impossible for me to talk to women, or most people for that matter. and I stay inside with my cats most days. […]
This has been the longest weekend ever.
Everyday, something disappointing happens. And it just adds to the problems she already has.
Today is Sunday. A day that is meant for rest before the new week begins. But she cannot rest, in fact she is restless…and this is the most restless she has been since she started considering suicide.
A moment ago she picked up a pen and then stared at her wrist. She thrusted the  point of the pen to her wrist, but stopped before it hit it. “What if I just punctured it. And started bleeding to death.”
With the news she received yesterday, she just can’t take it […]
I feel so confused… One minute I want to die, and the next I wish someone was here to tell me everything is going to be okay. I’m so unhappy with myself and I feel like such a failure. I know it’s all growing pains but I’ve felt so sad since I was in high school. I hate these hormones, or whatever is causing me to feel so sad. It’s a cycle. I can’t eat because I’m sad, and I feel sad because I don’t eat. I can’t make up my mind whether I want to live or die.
The boy I live with, whom I […]