when my stuff i ordered online gets here, I’m done. my mom is making fun of the way i am feeling, calling my dad and my aunt telling them I can’t clean my apartment, I’m sorry I’m depressed and my mom is making fun of me for it
Tag:
done
i dont know why im so weak… why cant i just go already???… i hate being here… if i go to a psychiatrist theyd prescribe me medicine… i could die from OD but thats not the way i want to go… i hate living… im done with feeling like this all the time… im sick of just sitting here thinking about suicide… i need to hurry up and do it… maybe then for once in my life i can be truly happy…
Everyone was asleep last night, so they couldn’t hear me. Easier that way. I decided I was ready to kill myself, and began to strangle myself. I started to choke silently, and blacked out soon after. I thought I was dead! That I had done it! 30 minutes later, I woke. Probably going to do it tonight again.
I tried on Tuesday. Failed. Will not fail this weekend. No energy right now. Waiting for SO to go out so i can go out alone and do what has to be done. My therapist gave me a crisis line, lol. Like I would call. I don’t think so. I’ve done so in the past, jsut feel silly. I’m done .
F life, F this world, F people, F everything.
I keep trying and nothing is ever good enough for anyone. I give him everything he wants, do whatever he tells me but that’s not enough. I just want to be done…with everything.
I’m planning on it. girl at work gave me whole bottle of caffeine pills. didn’t know I’m suicidal. stole some vodka from my dad’s liquor cabinet. tied noose…. I’m so done.
I’m waiting for someone to save me, because I can’t save myself anymore. Superman? God? Man? Woman? Child? Someone…..? I need to start over or end it… I can’t live like this anymore. I am tired of wishing on stars and counting cars.
I am so tired of pretending everything is ok…. I know it isn’t, and I am done lying to myself. I am done trying to make myself look happy when I’m not. I can’t anymore. I’m broken… And I know there’s no fixing this time.
A scamming thief conned me out of $28000 in loans which have never been paid back and now I’m so broke, I can’t even pay for utilities or food. Then last week he even went and robbed my house of every single item of value, plus many, many items that are so sentimental and irreplaceable. This on top of the fact that I was barely surviving to begin with. He took away whatever fight that I had left to live. I’m done. I’m so stupid. He played on my sense of empathy and compassion and used, lied and scammed me until there was nothing left […]
not anymore. im done with people, im just done.
It’s like some kind of sick movie. I was all ready to go through with my plan tomorrow and be done with it all, but today at work it was like he knew what I was thinking and was trying to save my life. He just kept making me laugh, but that’s easy considering how I am around him. We played around with each other like we were 5 years old, spinning chairs and all. After work he even drove me to my car cause it was parked farther away. I’ve had a crush on him for less than a month, and as crazy as it […]
really, its real and it never goes, the addiction to think about ways to kill yourself is so strong, i even dream of it, how peacefully my body will lay, how i will leave everything here and how.. all i have done, all people have done to me will disappear. there will be nothingness and i will sink in the ocean of infinite security. i need this place, i need to feel safe from all the fight, all the hatred, all the people.
I feel like Cerberus,
The three headed guardian of the gates of Hades.
Yet, each head has a different goal.
But will all end up in the same hole.
One says hold on,
Fight the feeling.
Another says we don’t belong,
We’ve reached our ceiling.
The last one makes the most sense.
And decides not to speak in the past tense.
Each has it’s own tune,
One is that if a siren,
Attractive but deadly,
One is soft and sweet,
Like a summer time medley.
One is loud,
With no discernable cause,
All the while waiting for an applause.
But it will not come,
Because their time may be […]
I saw someone write that they are Sisyphus and I thought it was poetically fitting for people in our condition. I myself am Atlas, damned to carry the world on my shoulders without given a moment to shrug. We are all legends and gods in our own right. Perhaps that’s why our deaths are so tragic.
I’ve finally decided to take that final step and let the world roll from my shoulders. I’ll give myself a month to tie loose ends and let my family adapt. I told them I’ll be leaving in a month. They think I’m just going to move away, having no idea. […]
Quote: “How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.” -David Foster Wallace
I constantly try to get to write something down and when I finally do, I delete it all. (How very unsatisfying.)
Just like my life is unsatisfying. (I really want to delete this too.)
I’m scared of posting stuff. (I want nobody I know to know who I am. At least not my name. They wouldn’t know me any more than that.)
Where is the delete button for my life? (I guess there are actually a lot)
(I think I should just delete this all.)
Oh look! Now that I’ve managed to make […]
Tonight is the night. Im going to be in heaven. People have really showed me they dont care. So here it is no more bull shit. Im done with everyone. My boyfriend doesn’t act as id he cares no more. So here is to him. I loved yiu more than anything and you didn’t realize it. I didn’t want to break up and I no we didn’t but even if you didn’t care you could have acted like it. I no im not much.and every girl has trust issue. Especially when you give them a reason. I have them but I’ve tried my best to […]
Nothings going right. No one understands. I can’t do this any more. I’m done.
I cant do this anymore, I just cant my mom hates me , my aunts, uncles , cousins, friends all think I’m useless. I just wish my dad were alive, he would tell me everything is alright he would tell me he loves me. But hes gone the one person that loved me left me. I have tried getting to him but nothing works. I’ve tried committing suicide at least 4 times all because of my mom and her boyfriend. no I am not looking for attention I just need to get it all out by writing. Tonight’s going to be my 5th attempt wish […]
I posted here in May that I had a plan but couldn’t find a way to make everything happen, and it was frustrating beyond words. Shortly after that my on again/off again partner came back into my life and while the constant feeling of not wanting to be here was still there, it was dialed down a bit. He told me a few weeks ago that he is moving to another state to reunite with his wife (he’s been separated for two years), so things got dialed right back up. I got lucky, though, and found a doable plan that has little chance of failing […]