I wanna kill myself tonight , i wanna slip away from sadness. Be forever done with feeling like the room is getting small the air getting thicker and theres more room on the floor i can breath better. But i cant freak out in front of them. So i hold it in. Im dead inside i dont want to feel anymore.
Tag:
dont want to
i dont want to hurt anyone , or remaind you of what you want to forget ..
some of us had been raped , and other had been used and saled ,others had a bad parents , or bad social live , or had been failure .. we all have something that is pushing us to the edge .. but we won’t fall
we might think that we have the worst life ever . but we forget to think about other people .. while we are here sitting infront of our laptops or mobile phones in our worm rooms ,, have the ability to eat […]
idk why nothing gets better
it doesn’t
i feel so much pain in being alive so alone such a struggle so hard now every day it’s like trying to breathe can’t breathe literally sometimes
the list of bad things is too long, the past always knocking me in the eye
i know im going to die soon b/c i cant bear sexual abuse and it’s horrors all alone anymore the fb’s the depression the noise terrorism the paranoia the past running into people i dont want to see the stigma
and at this point im really looking forward to it
it would be nice if there had been god at all […]
Growing up i had a really rough life. i was never happy, even as a kid. i have thought about killing myself before, many times actually, and i have tried once before but i stopped myself. I try to stay happy but it is really hard for me. i have been through a lot. my family has put me through a lot, my old friends have put me through a lot. i am trying so hard to be happy. i am 18 years old and i feel so broken and destroyed. my family has destroyed me. i break down everyday and i just find it […]
I just cant go on.
I cant feel anything and i dont want to feel anything.
I feel worthless and hopeless.
I have no one to talk to and i dont even know if i want to talk to anyone.
I just cant go on…
There are so many who have passed through here. Some just briefly, some off n on for years. So many I wonder of.
Anyways….this is for Salt. Any chance you are lurking? Has anyone heard from him? If you dont want to respond here could you email… my username at hot mail.
Im back home and instantly i regret not downing half a month’s of sereoquel for the drive back home. Hell even if it didnt kill me im sure it would help satiate the voices that keep bothering me about harmful ideation.
My psych doc wants to increase it but i told him it would hinder me driving, honestly if he was so quick to want to i shouldve just let him. I feel like im doomed for the med life to feel comfortably numb and not unexpectedly lash out due to the wierd messages my brain thinks its receiving. Which is safe for everyone but […]
i dont see the point in why i even woke up today. haven’t been awake 30 minutes and already i feel like shit. get called a bum by my brothers boyfriend and of cores my brother thinks its funny. my next door neighbors are laughing at me while im crying saying “i hope she kills herself” while they are calling me a child molester with an std and thats probably the reason why im depressed, and my mother (who i love dearly) just thinks that i can flip a switch in my head that turns it all off and makes it stop. the only people […]
Im a couple months away from being 30 and i have felt like dying every single day since I was 12 years old. I remember the exact day i realized i didnt want to live. I have friends, i date, i have things im passionate about, a good job. Nothing traumatic happened to me in my youth. I just dont have whatever biological imperative that makes people want to live. My closest friends and mother know about it. My mom is the reason i havent, ive begged her to let me go. I dont want to transfer my pain to her, i want her to […]
i wish could go back and do things over but i cant. its to late to much has happened, no one will help me. i had a chance and already it gets fucked up. if i could go back i would have done it differently, but its to late. god is laughing at me for sure now. i just hope i get to what i need to do before someone else dose they would make me suffer. im almost glad people think i have an std. im afraid to get tested because if i do and people find out i dont and if they get there […]
i feel very very empty my happiness is leaving me i can feel it happening. i want peace i want death but im so afraid. i know im going to hell. ive had two dreams about me dying and going to hell and it was horrible but i know hell it a lot worse. but im slowly getting ready to experience it because it is where i belong. but i dont want to die yet because this is the only chance that i get at living and i have a lot that i want to do yet im so tired. i want peace. i want […]
Ive been through so much in life and have never been this low…im so broken idk what to do or who to talk to im alone in a place i dont want to b… :'(
so long story short,
im too lazy to live…sounds awful, selfish, stupid, but well its true, i finished school, worked in many shitty places which gave me even more depression, or opend my eyes actually. There is no big plan, there is no big scenario for each of us, there is no big meaning of life its all bullshit, we all know that, we all depressed because we think there is, that “c`mon, its cant be all, it has to be some purpose” well…there is not, there is happiness in life, sure thing, but those sometimes 2 min of happiness is worth living and suffer all […]
I just dont see the point of why i should continue strugling to survive. It’s as if im surviving to endure more pain. I just dont want to hurt anymore… Cry myself to sleep… Beg for love and attention… Feel fear… I feel sooo empty. I just wanna go.
Is religion real? if so, which one? i was raised christian, and i still am even after everything that has happened. I believe he was around to save the world. But many religions have key figures. What the heck? what does it all mean? does it even matter to try and figure this stuff out? does heaven exist in any form? Im poor, we dont ask ourselves these kinds of questions, we just try to keep living. I honestly dont want to live anymore (if i cant get my health issues fixed, or find a job), but what is the point of it all? i […]
For as long as i can remember i felt like i dont belong. As i get older i feel it even more. I cannot die tho i welcome the thought. You see i have kids and grandkids. But most of the time i feel they wud be better off without me around. Everything i touchgoes to crap. Everyone i love leaves. I tried to end my life twice a long time ago and failed at that just as i fail at everything. I am now in the middle of my 4th divorce and have finally figured out i am meant to be alone. I just […]
I am fourteen years old. My father abondoned me as a child. I think of that a lot. why wasnt i enough for him. Why did he have to leave me? Also when i was a child i was raped. My family doesnt know and only one of my friends does. I deal with constant flashbacks. I see and hear things that arent there. i hear voices telling me to do things i dont want to do, to hurt others and myself. i see scary things and stupid things from monsters to birds. I am secretly gay and live in a catholic family in the […]
I couldnt do it again. Its gotten so bad i would pay for somone to kill me if i could. I dont want to live… But i dont want to die. P.Y is the only person stoping me and im losing her. Theres nothing for me anymore. I just want you back. I love you.
– Connor
I just dont want to ruin her agian but i cant get her out of my mind.
by - Connor
written by - Connor
I have been suicidal for 5 years now. I have tryed to stop throught the years. The happyist thisng happend to me when i got a new girlfriend. I loved her. I still do. She still tells me she loves me. But im not sure of that anymore. Ok… At the start of our relationship things were going good everything was ok. I was finaly happy. But as the months went on i started to feel like killing myself again… I tryed it… But she stoped me forcing me to through up the pills that i had swollowed. After that she got me seeing two […]
I have spent most of my life from the age of 15 in regret getting kicked out my family home and falling into drugs. Always being left by a girl from someone els, or just just being a second choice. Have never been able to hold down a job and always making mistakes and leading myself into trouble and being stuck alone with none to talk to.
I am coming to a point where i dont want to live anymore, i want it all over.. but i am afraid..
Everyone sees me so so happy and keep my chin up though the hard times, but i am […]