i am in pretty bad shape too man….i can feel you and see how many you and me there really are, imagine the total grief and helplessness and hopelessness in this world man, it is enough to be a world in itself, maybe that is what hell is. maybe hell is the collective weight of all peoples’ failed aspirations, expectations and dreams, maybe hell is the all weighty almighty DREAM that was never chased. it just lies there, emptying slowly, its mass and thickness invading all that comes in its way, it comes inside you and me thijs, through the nose, close your eyes all […]
Tag:
Downfall
here, i am.
on the top of this building, again.
i’ve hesitated, i’ve believed.
but nothings getting better, for me.
i jump, free fall.
But i realize its not free at all.
As i look into my families eyes
As i watch my bestfriends cry
As i watch him scream in pain.
As i watch them throw me in a grave.
But i have already jumped.
I hit the ground with a final thump.
i open my eyes.
i see the pain begin
I have payed the toll.
And watch the devil burn my soul.
I’m not someone who anybody would suspect to be suicidal. I’m 17. I have the top grades in my class. I’m pretty (or so people tell me). I have a great group of friends. I’m popular. I’m funny. I’m well dressed. But at the end of the day, I hate myself. I hate myself more than anyone else could possibly hate me. But I’m still here. Read this and I’ll tell you why.
As I’m typing this tears are streaming down my face. My mom just finished another round of yelling at me to kill myself and how I’m a failure who will never amount to […]
Hi, my name is Josh and im currently a Senior in highschool. I have a problem…trouble making friends. Its hard to explain but im a very very friendly, loving, happy, and a peaceful guy. Thats just how I am…unfortunately deep inside I am a very sad, depressed and lonely person. I like to question things, even myself and i think this is what is leading to my downfall….when i was young i had only 2 friends…i could only be with one at a time and if it was all 3 of us i would get very jealous and depressed, remind you…i was VERY young when […]
My Ultimate Downfall
Written By: Markus Jolley
Here I am mourning at her tomb,
As I weep, my tears hit the ground,
 As I weep, my hate starts to consume,
Of love lost or of love found.
 I Looked up to the stars and asked God why,
I Loved her, and then you, God, you took her away!
Why did this happen, why did she need to die?
I can’t deal with this; it gets harder each and every day.
 So I’m alone now, weeping silently in the night,
 I did everything […]
I used this website for a bit and it helped some to communicate with people who can understand the struggle of depression. i think i managed to be okay for two years.. but i had a downfall and im not really sure what exactly caused it but the point is.. im back and personally it got way worse.. i had mentioned how i had tried taking my life but i dont remember ever doing some of the things i have done in the past months.. almost a year already that i guess “the cycle” came back. ive actually reached out to professionals and i went […]
I’m two faced, one good one bad. I hate it. I was suicidal, a smoker and an alcoholic for some time. Im only 13. I was in a hospital a few weeks ago for suicidal thoughts & attempts. I still hate myself, but I realize that if I commit suicide, I won’t ever rest. There, I met amazing people with problems. They made me stop hating myself by a little, and spending time around them helped give me a new insight to life.
My mom & I have never been on good terms, & when we finally were, I thought that now i could kill myself […]
i recently found this website. i felt like writing something, cuz lately it’s so damn hard. i’m close to my limit.
i am nearly 25 yrs old. i deal with depression and anxiety since i can remember. 4 like 22yrs, i lived along with it not worring about it too much, i didn’t really know what i had anyway. since then it got worst. i’ve never been very social at all. i’m a shy person and very clumsy, or should i say fumbling? i dont know the right word to describe it in english… though i’ve always fought my personality. more than 3 yrs ago my […]
I’ll start from the beginning. I had a close, dear friend basically called him my brother. Xain, he was always there for me through thick and thin and would fight tooth and nail to keep me happy. He fell in love with me(this isn’t the root of the story) and I told him how i felt but kept him as a friend none the less and let him flirt how he wants. He was wiccan and openly gay, as a christian who was raised to love all I judged him not. He was adopted from Ireland when his druggie of a mother had him hooked […]
Where do i even begin? I am 18 years old and i lost the people who pretty much raised me at a young age and developed depression before i had hit the third grade. Then i found out i had cancer, ive been fighting that for almost a year now and ive gone through so many surgeries and dont know what to say about it. But the weight of the sickness and the looming thought of dying and just having peace finally is so enticing i long for it. But then seven months ago i met the most amazing person i k.ow the person thats […]
Tupac – Wonder Why They Call You *****
Inspired by the above:
Drowning in alcohol,
A man of no lord, no regard for toll,
No reason to live, a jilted soul,
She’s condemned him to a liquor prison,
To this poison of ethanol.
Drinking spirits,
Desperate to fill the void of an abyss within,
Sitting in the darkness of a cornered booth,
Why doesn’t he ever walk away,
Escape from the this cage of musk and sin?
I’m sure anyone reading this has heard it all before. I’m tired of getting up in the morning, droning through a job filled with office politics, unable to help my brain injured son further and unable to cope with his pathological lying, his lack of motivation, his manipulation and more.
I’ve lived my life for my son for 34 years. Since he was 11 years of age, and a diagnosis of psychiatric disorder, he has been in and out of institutionalization (juvenile detention x2, an adult life of crime, culminating in a brain injury from violence at age 23, then more psychiatric detention and jail as […]
Im so hurt at the moment… I lost my virginity to a 24 year old guy I’ve only known a month. Im 18, I made a promise to myself I would wait til marriage to have sex. It was important to me, it meant something. I’ve been this good girl my whole life, I rarely date. I would never do something like that, but I did…. I would barely let a boyfriend kiss me. I guess for the past year I’ve been in a spiral downfall and depression. My mom all my brothers moved, and I was left in this town. I’m still in high […]