I feel emotionally disconected. There is no reason for me to feel depressed or sad, because I don’t have what anyone would consider a bad life. I feel disgusting, because other people have real reasons to be sad and depressed, yet here I am. There is nothing special about me. There is no reason for anyone to extend an effort to help me out because I don’t feel like I contribute to society in the slightest. The only reason why I feel any guilt is that I do not want my few friends and my small family to feel like they failed. No one failed […]
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
So many Fucking thoughts about stupid fucking bull shit that I shouldn’t even give a fuck about but I do because that’s me and I’m a fucking idiot and I do whatever the fuck my mind tells me because I don’t know how to fucking tell it no… NO!!NO!!NO!!
Why does nothing ever fucking work out?!?! Why is everyone so fucked over in life?! Why do the ass holes and dick fucks get away with everything and the nice people get stuck with the shitty end of the fucking stick!!!! Omg!!!! Fucking shoot me I’m so tired […]
I was happy with everything in my life until 6th grade, when I found out I was gay. I haven’t told anyone I am yet, but how can I? My mom, one of the people I trust the most said on election day “I’m not voting to allow gay marriage, it’s just wrong and unholy.”. Until then I thought I could tell her anything and she would still love me. Now I have suicidal thoughts, cut myself and cry almost daily and still nobody has a clue that they are torturing me. I’m 15 now and I still don’t know what to do. I’ve always tried to […]
Just one question for you all… Why is it that in sometimes I feel like I’m back in that exact moment when my life really changed? Why is it that I can hear and see everything like it’s right there infront of me? Why is it I can even see it in color vivid as can be? Why can I even smell that familiar sent?…. Whys it all seem so real? Real to the point where lately I’m questioning myself if it is or not.. Sigh
My sister doesn’t know y I sleep so long.. I literally have no reason to get out of bed especially when all she does is make me feel worse accuses me of everything blames me for her nd gordy fighting tells me I’m useless that I’m not shit lik y the fuck would I wanna get up if that’s all that’s gonna happen I’m starting to break Idk Wat to do tbfh Idk how to make my fucking life better
I’m done. The world is a broken place that refuses to be fixed. No one has ever tried to make me happy, so me I deserve it, nothing. When everyday I constantly have to help those around me, give advice, and be motivational. When all I get in a return is arrogance. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really belong here, like really truly. All I am is a face in the crowd, who just keeps getting shoved down. I’ve been called ugly, rude, a ***** so many things I just cant count anymore. I’m done trying to have hope for a brighter future, everything […]
I want a painless way to die. I don’t want comments telling me to rethink and that everything will be fine. Just give me a few painless ways to die please.
if you were reading me i’d be scared because then you’d really know how bad I get without you how bad I’ve been but I guess I enjoy the satisfaction that even if you read how crazy I was you’d at least find out how you were the only one who kept me sane for a little while. Sane is probably the wrong word HAPPY? HEALTHY? I don’t know lively to say the least. You see without you I see how filthy the world has become you were the best distraction you were the only good man my only good man. Oh how we talked […]
there’s a different kind of tired
not the kind when you haven’t slept
or you’ve run two miles
or you haven’t eaten in hours
it’s the kind you can feel
behind your eyes
your neck
your shoulders
your chest
your knees
everywhere
when you’ve just had enough of being knocked down by it all
and the only cure is sleep
but not even that cures
because you know when you wake
you’ll be tired all over again
so you just drift through everything
tired.
Sometimes I wonder what the point of all of this is? When those thoughts start running through my mind I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if I ended it all. However, I don’t want to hurt the small amount of people that actually care about me which is why I haven’t and probably wont ever do it. It’s still depressing to have all of these thoughts. I really wish I didn’t. On some level I feel guilty and I feel like maybe I’m taking everything for granted. Compared to others my life is pretty normal I suppose. At least now it […]
I am 24 years old, i have been fighting depression for about 4 years now. It all began when the girl i was in love with for 5 years was raped and she became different and left me. i have attempted suicide once and failed, i was locked up in a suicide watch institute for 3 days (worst thing ever they take everything from you and you sit in silence wanting to die even more) luckily my sister worked there and got me out. My current gf recently left me because i was too depressed of a person, i loved her with everything i had […]
Remember that time when you were truly happy. Truly happy despite all the crap in your life. Truly happy despite the people that wanted to see you sad. Especially happy for the people that liked to see you happy. So incredibly happy, that you didn’t even realize you were happy. You just were there, and everything was more or less alright.
wasn’t that a good time.
…
now you have a burden to carry.its all you can think about.
Tunes in the drop
Indeed, dead and sinking
Nobody and everything
The light that I don’t have
Shining all around
The only that isn’t natural
Something growing from outside
Shining all around
The hazard of all arrive
From the pierce underground
Looking from space and is everything right
Dragonyte, fly me back from never never-land
Take me, are you “Angel”
Only isn’t alive
Continuum there is a vacuum of void in spiritual
That is only, left from the arcane, tied and upside-down
You are the Sacred-Clown, I bow down
Something […]
A little time ago I tried to kill myself.
I was taking these meds for depression and anxiety and also some kind of sleeping pills, ’cause I was feeling really bad. I have abandoned school and I’ve spent my days sleeping, crying, talking with my therapist, doing to myself all kind of self harm, drinking all night and things like these.
I was afraid of the night, ’cause even if my mother was trying to take care of me ’cause she knew everything, at night I was somehow always alone. When everyone slept I was always still there, facing my demons in the dark, trying not to […]
Dear she who will not be named
I never asked you to be a part of my life. You shouldn’t have ever said hello or looked my way. That day on the subway when for some reason or another you asked me to watch your shit while you paid, you should have just thanked me and been on your way. There was no reason to start a conversation, to ask me about my day or any of it. You were just a stranger and it’s funny that after everything that happened that’s all you are once more. A stranger. Somebody that I thought I knew, that I thought […]
I always feel like i shouldn’t be like that, that people have it worst then me and that i’m being depressed over stupid thing and ugh like that girl i just read about her past and looking at my life i’m having it the easy way so maybe i should just grown up and stop being a child cause everything is right, right? Maybe i should just forget about my depression cause other have it worst. I remember having a message from this anonymous guys telling me how i’m shit cause all the things that ever happen to me are baby scars and that other […]
i really don’t know why but i wasn’t expecting myself to come back here, i tough oh just one night then go back to being silent but i can’t really, i need to talk to people even if i’m not actually talking to someone, i’m letting out some of my feeling.
Talking about those feels, i really hate them sometimes i wish was like Patch from hush, hush unable to feel. I want to be a fallen but aren’t i already, i think i am, yes i’m a fallen, i would call myself a angel but i’m far from that nop i’m a demons walking among […]
I am fairly new here. I found this website in my darkest days and I am not sure if it is gonna make everything better or worse but it is good to read people’s experiences and have a chance to help them. I can say that I have survived and strayed from the darkest version of myself. I hope I can help you also! I am here when you need me. I mean it.
I’m not really sure how to start this, honestly ten minutes ago I didn’t see myself writing anything at all. You search something on Google and end up on a website, just reading posts. As the title suggests this is just me rambling…reminiscing…ruminating…for a lack of a better word just babbling. Madman Joseph at your service.
Throughout my life I can’t really recall a specific time when I’ve been happy, I’m sure most of us can relate to that. Though more specifically I can’t remember when my happiness wasn’t a result of something someone had done for me. It’s almost as if my happiness depends on […]
I sometimes go to bed thinking everything will be better the next day and that my life is just a bad dream. And when I wake up reality snaps back in to me and than I remember. I am an embarrassment to the family according to my father and I am useless to society. My goal is to inform others of what I live trough everyday.