i am 19 years old, I live with mom, my sister studies abroad and my father is rarely home. I have good parents, i know they love me and i know that i love them too. but, i have no idea why every time i’m around my family, especially my mom, i always get pissed, and i’m always angry all the time for no reason. i think a part of me feels that it is kind of my family’s fault because we’re not like a normal family, we don’t go out together, i’m not close with my father and every time i talk with my […]
Tag:
Existence
I still want to kill myself but there’s a few people around me who care. And I don’t want to satisfy the people who hate me cos it means they win. I live like a dog, I wake up each morning and survive. As much as I don’t think like an animal, I have the same existence as one. Blind people who’re totally blind that is, don’t seem to have as much success as most partially blind and sighted people in this fucker of a world. Some sighted people don’t have success, but it seems that the majority of people with disabilities are less successful […]
Apparently I’m not supposed to post hateful or mean things here. Well , my hate isn’t directed at random people on this site. Am I allowed to hate the people I know? Do I even hate them? I’m sick of them certainly , they bore me. Am I allowed to ramble on like this? I quite like it. So here’s my deal. I don’t like life , I don’t like people , that’s certainly nothing new , everybody’s heard that a billion times I bet. But you see , I really don’t like people . I pity them . Watching all of these little people run around […]
You disappear…
What have I done to deserve this?
I’ve always been the good child. The one who would eat all their veggies, do their homework, listen to their parents, do well in school and sports and yet I’m always the one at fault. Reading some of these posts, I really have no right to complain about my life because others have it worse than I do. I grew up with both parents, I’m healthy, and we don’t have to worry about money. What more could I ask? All I’ve wanted, was to have someone to love me or care for me. Unfortunately, some things in the […]
I want to know why my mother chose to keep me alive when I was born? Why did she give me two fuckwit siblings when she only wanted me to start with? She only had my two brothers because they wanted to come to life before me. And now that we’re grown up, they’ve got their own lives, everything they could have, before me.
I hate my two brothers. I wish they were both dead, I hate my Mum and I hate my Dad. My two brothers are fucking cunts, from their conception. I have been a fucking stupid loser from my conception. I want to […]
I am waking up every day not wanting to do anything but sleep. I push myself to do the things I need to do. I remember learning that the key to overcoming depression is to keep on with your routines. I don’t really agree. There is this hollowness that comes with each day, I smile, I laugh, I behave kindly, I turn the other cheek, I maintain composure, I stifle and stifle…
And I feel dead. I come home to my flat and lay down. Sometimes, I’ll watch a show or read. Sometimes, I’ll spend a few minutes sharing pleasantries with a “friend”. Sometimes, I might […]
My head is a mess. I’m only 19. I’m a girl but I want to be a boy, no one knows that. My mom only stays with us one month per year ’cause she has to work in another country, my dad has mental problems, I live with him, yay. I only have one friend but we don’t share everything.
I was supposed to live. I was supposed to give something to this world. But no, I’m here, preparing my suicide. No note left, just my Tumblr account can clarify some things about the real me. I have no talent, no social skills, no motivations, just […]
I remember being afraid just to tell people that I got sad at times. They don’t care. They don’t want to be bothered with any of that.
Then it became depression, suicidal thoughts. I didn’t tell a soul. I bit my tongue. I held it in.
It got worse. I Couldent even function.
I asked for help when all they wanted to hear was that I did all of this for attention.
That I cut and made sure to never let the skin be visible.
That I lost the will to live, all for attention.
Therapy. Meds. They give you meds that make you […]
Why some people can commit suicide?
Why some people want to commit suicide but can’t do it?
Suicide is really an awful thing to do but the feeling of the person who want to do it
is more awful becuase it is full of pain and suffering. They say too much of anything
is bad for us human beings, too much stress can lead to depression, too much vanity can
lead to anxiety and too much pain can lead to wanting to commit suicide.
We all know that there’s no perfect life. There are a lot of troubles, conflicts and
problems that we will face throughout our […]
i wish there was a delete button built into us. I was a bad mom, a bad grandmom and a bad wife. This life is full of so much pain. I have withdrawn from it. I am sad when i wake up in the morning because i have to go through another day. I am 62 years old. I was abandoned as a child and i have lived my entire life not belonging anywhere. I feel like a spaceship landed and i got off on the wrong planet. I believe in Jesus and in heaven. I want to go now. whatever purpose this life […]
I’ve spent the last few days trying to wish myself out of existence.  So far, it’s not working.  I think I’ll keep trying, though.  The alternative is to stop wishing and do something about it myself…
I have always seen life as a quest. It works like a game plan. Every level gets tougher and the monsters and hurdles get more and more dangerous and difficult to cross. I don’t regret having my life but all I wish is to have someone who I can share it with. I did fall in love and then ended up with a crushed heart when the relationship ended. Occupying yourself definitely helps but the loneliness remains. I have plenty of friends but I miss the existence of the special one. Work can substitute thoughts but not feelings. I don’t know what I feel about […]
I’ve never really shared before, or at least not like this, but I think it maybe time. I cannot look back on my life and think of a time when I was truly happy. I remember as a child wishing God would “take me home with him” I didn’t know why, but I felt that way all the time. I feel like the worst person on the planet, I should be grateful for what I do have. I know there are plenty of people worse off than I am, but for some reason I cannot shake the feeling I’ve had for all of my life. […]
The biggest piece of bullshit I have ever heard, is when someone tries to comfort me. I know that sounds weird, but maybe oddly true. Only one person on the world has ever been able to make me feel not alone, but she doesn’t know I am in love with her. But that is besides the point. Everyone else, when they comfort me, seems to have ulterior motives. Maybe they feel obligated. Maybe they are trying to stroke their own ego. Maybe …….
The point being is that They have their own ulterior motive, They don’t really care about me, or you. Though why should They? […]
OK, I have a question. Yesterday, im-worthless made a post called “The other side” asking what people thought about the afterlife. I responded saying no one knows, but there is no logical reason based on what we do know about consciousness to think it’s anything other than eternal oblivion.
Now, I’m sticking by what I said then. That said, this does raise a number of other philosophical questions that have really been troubling me for years.
I’m very evidence minded, and I find the believability of a claim is closely linked to the strength of the evidence supporting it. If there is no evidence for something, it […]
I really have no choice but to end my miserable life.
I have too much debts that I can’t settle.
though I can’t bear the thought of leaving my beautiful daughter but my existence will only harm her in the future.
Dying has never been easy for any human being, at least for any of the human being I’ve met throughout my life. The idea of leaving the world for visiting some unknown existence is just scaring. But, for me, the worst thing about dying is never have the guarantee of seeing your loved ones again.
I said before that one of my friends, one of the important people in my life, was trying to hate me but he wasn’t able to. Well, now I know he hates me. I know, this is my fault. A friend, who I really trust, told me that he hates me. When […]
Who was I, before I entered this maze,
Is not something that I will remember.
As I entered the war-maze,
There was only the life-threatening
Closeness between the enemy and me.
Even this, I will not realize.
After getting out of the maze
Even if I earn my freedom,
The maze by itself, will not change. Unaltered.
To die or to kill,
To be killed, or to take someone’s life,
Even this will not be decided.
As a man wakes from his sleep,
And starts to walk, he can never
Again, see the world of […]
I some times come to this site and read the articles on here. Sometimes to get ideas and others because it makes me feel less alone, but no matter how much I read it, I just feel useless. Why am I sad, why can’t I be happy, why can’t I want something, why do I have no motivation, no drive, no love for anything? Why can’t I try to be the person I want to be? Why can’t I end it? I just want it all to end and disappear I wish I was never born then I won’t be a burden on anyone, I […]
I’m almost 22, but I feel old. People have said that I am an old soul, but I think that’s just because I’ve had too much alone time to think. I’ve been mistrustful of people since I was a kiddo, and since then I have become isolated and friendless. My two younger brothers are going through their own psychological trials and keep to themselves. My older sister was like a beast when we were little, and I can’t even bring myself to express how much I resent the ways she manipulated and hurt me. I hardly talk to her. My mom is emotionally distant, due […]