Never thought id feel so empty id split my flesh, just to feel again, just to distract from the fact that i feel dead inside; so much emptiness can only amount to hell or bliss; my desire for the afterlife, a darkness where i cant feel, wouldnt that be nice? Never thought id feel so numb i couldnt feel the pleasures in life, so dead i couldnt feel my fingertips. And pain was the closest thing, an extescy silver steel could bring. So bloody. So much fluid, expelled from my veins, passed the boarder from insanity, the bloody warmth giving back to me, drawing […]
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expelled
I am 99% sure that I want to kill myself. I really want to tell someone that so they could say they had a chance to save me, and they can feel less guilty when they can’t, so they can say at least they tried. But I don’t want to tell Julian (fake name) because he would try to stop me. I haven’t felt this sure about anything in a long time.
I’m going to do it. I need to at least try, or I can’t live with myself. (I guess I wouldn’t be living with myself anyway, ha.) I will be documenting the next few […]