i’m so done with life. i have been for a very long time now. thing is i don’t have the guts to do myself in. i wish i did, then my suffering would have been over a very long time ago. i’ve had people, family who were supposed to love me, tell me that they hate me and hope i die. well good for them. i’ve ceased to matter to anyone and i don’t care anymore. i want to be out of here, not because they want me to be, but because i want to be. fuck all the rest. if only i had the […]
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family
I have a problem. The first step is admitting it, right? That is what they say on TV. So I am going to put on my big boy pants and fess up… I’m addicted to pills. Sleep aids, cough medicine, herbal supplements, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, anything! Let’s put it this way, if I am taking a walk and see a blister pack on the ground with one mystery pill inside, I have to restrain myself from picking it up. I’ve stolen medication. I’ve taken handfuls of it. I’ve lied to get it. I just can’t seem to stop. But it’s only because I a so […]
Ive been thinking, all of us (or at least the majority) on here don’t want to be here… With the living. But what if we did end it? What if we did end our lives by whatever means… Who have we left behind?
Now im sure a decent amount of you are thinking “I would be leaving no one behind” which is fair enough. But those of us who have family and / or friends… I just can’t help but wonder, what if we were to be the very thing that started the journey to someone else’s self-annihilation?
I lie here trying to get myself to understand why I so badly need to destroy my life tonight. I have pondered on every explanation as to why I want to watch my own blood flow like a river around me. I have a loving family that would protect me regardless the reason, a house which provides me with ample physical comfort, and a friend who would never think of judging me. I have so many reasons to live, and so many things to lose. I can tell myself that many times, but I can’t seem to accept it emotionally.
“I love you more” ….these words are haunting me now. I used to say them to you, when we were in love and together. Now, you’ve said you’re done, that nothing can save our love, our lil family. So it’s true. I do love you more. I love you so much I can’t stand not being without you, talking to you, can’t stand you not in my life. One day that you’ll be with another man, in love with him, in his arms, making love to him, calling him baby. I can’t take that pain, and you won’t save me. Told you I’d kill myself […]
I have been so close to committing suicide the past couple years and I can’t fight anymore.
I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD due to a horribly emotional abusive relationship I was trapped in for almost 2 years. I have anger issues. I have separation anxiety. I am plagued with nightmares.
I do not see a chance of happiness in this world.
I live in the shittiest era of the United States I could have possibly been born in. Jobs are hard to come by, and even if you get one, there’s such a lack of interpersonal relationships anymore. It all relies on your ability to […]
I will start out with saying that I am only alive today out of spite. I have had family and friends who have tried to destroy me, and failed. I have fought to stay alive, and I have had nothing handed to me. I learned how to program, how to make more money in a month than many people see in a year, graduated high school, and survived multiple hospitalizations for various things, none of them being psychiatric. I have only lived this long because I had decided that everyone who had tried to hurt me had been my enemies, and that the greatest suffering […]
Hello my name is Marcello, I’m a 16 year old who is considering suicide. In a nutshell the reason that I want to end it is because my parents are divorced and my whole family is fighting. I have been doing some research about methods and I think hanging is the best option. The tools I have available to me are a belt and 2 ties, I would want to know the best way to do it and what it will feel like.
I have friends, I have a great family, I have a great boyfriend. I’m in my early 20s and started my own company 2 years ago. Since then nothing has gone right with it. My developers quit after months of not delivering on promises, and my current developer is treating me like shit. I have had suicidal thoughts off and on all my life but I’ve been having suicidal thoughts now for weeks… Today and yesterday something was different. I feel really numb. I keep trying to get out of it, to think about my family and how much it would hurt my little brother […]
It’s been 6 mounts since I last posted on here I’ve been trying to stay positive and trying to move on with my life I got a new partner. Who some what understands my mental Heath. What’s nice I stared volunteering at mind, a charity for mental Heath. And I’m going away with my family in 3 weeks. But I still car’t beat my thoughts of suicide and I rock bottom lows. I’ve been manic for the past week with suicidal thoughts (dose anyone els get suicidal thoughts when they are manic.
I was doing so well. I was happy, my family was happy with me. I was helpful instead of a burden. I was trying so hard to please myself and everyone around me. My mom took my sister on a trip I was dying to go on. She had refused to take me on it the year before, but agreed it would be worthwhile for my sister. I was upset, and a little bitter at first. But I decided to get over it and just be happy and help out around the house over spring break while they were gone. My dad works all day, […]
I am the youngest in my family. I’m not close to anyone in my family except my brother (1 year age difference). When I was born I had two older (half) sisters who were about 8 and 6. I remember getting blamed for everything. They used to frame me and nobody ever believed that I was truly innocent. Even now, when they’re young-adults and no longer live here, I get blamed for anything bad happening in my parents life. I guess it’s easy to blame me. My father has a horrible temper and my mother has a personality of a mean school girl. This is […]
My story is a bit of a funny story, I suppose. I had an awful childhood. Not the worst, it had it’s bright moments, I suppose. I was never physically abused, but physical abuse isn’t the worst kind of abuse… When I was really little, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and the doctor said I was borderline autistic, but he didn’t want me to live with that label too, so he never gave me an official diagnosis. But he said my symptoms were so bad, I would likely never graduate high school, and if I did it would be through special education.
My parents divorced when […]
This isn’t exactly a story about an attempted suicide or a failed suicide attempt. I have not experiences none of them but I’m in current fear that I might e sharing my own story of a failed attempt soon – or not.
I have never been diagnosed with depression but I started to self harm 2 years ago. I stopped last year because I told my family (a stupid mistake if I have to be honest) but sine November, I began to feel a bit bad and sad and yeah. By January, I had written that I was suicidal and that I hated life.
I mean, I […]
Just a statement I guess. Putting all my stuff in zip locks. Don’t want to have to have people doing that. What would you do with your diaries? A lot of what is in them has potential to cause my family pain. Would you burn them?
Everything hurts I want to die I don’t know what to do. I have a mood disorder and there is no cure and god I don’t want to live like this. Treat the symptoms, manage your emotions, improve your quality of life! But there’s nothing that can cure it.
I can’t eat either get it past my lips or I throw it up. I either sleep too much or can’t sleep at all. I haven’t left the house in days and I can’t talk to my family anymore.
Right now I can hear my dad down the hall calling all these therapists to help me. He’s started […]
I am a seventeen year old in my third year of high school. I go to a therapeutic high school, but my attendance is pretty erratic due to my depression, anxiety, mood disorder NOS, insomnia, and sensory issues. I fit the tortured poet cliche. I am recognized for my poetry regionally, which I cherish because it seems to be my only accomplishment in life. I am quite useless in every other endeavor (though I do have a talent for making up decent drinking songs).
I have been struggling with mental illness since the age of ten, though I was only diagnosed when I was twelve. Since […]
Why it seems that I’m begging for love? In everywhere, family, friends, even myself. And I still do not get any. Do I have to beg more? Am I ever going to receive some? From someone? Am I going to loved someday? How? When? From who? I just don’t know. Like I said in the last post, I’m reaching to an end, I’m having so much break downs, there’s so much pain, loneliness literally is killing me. But I’m such a coward to make something to change it. I hate myself. I humiliate myself trying to find love where it’s obvious That I’ll never gonna […]
is it okey to feel like you dont belong to this earth?
Is it ok to not love your kids?
Is it ok to want to leave your family?
Is it ok to feel like it is your wife that is the source of the problem?
Is it ok to want to just leave and start fresh somewhere else? Is that possible?
Am i the only one that feel like this?
So i have managed to loose my boyfriend my two bestfriends and half my family all in one week,life is just fucking amazing. Fuck everything,fuck life. what even is the point anymore iv lost everyone. i guess its time for me to go now.