over the last couple of weeks, ive been depressed, i don’t know why and i dont know how i’ve gotten this way, i sit there and cry, i feel like nothing to anyone, i give up and just want to die all the time. Most people say i shouldn’t think that, because i’m 13 years old and i shouldn’t waste my life away, suicide isn’t the way to deal with it, i’ve cut myself, wished&cried that i didn’t want to be here so many times, people just don’t understand how i feel.. about anything? No-one knows why i’m like this, i don’t even know, i […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
Ok so hey evyrbody what’s up?
So sorry i haven’t posted in almost 2 years and in some ways i am glad i ‘am still here.For the record i’ve tryed to kill myself several times so far in my life and i am still here so yea you can make in through some depressing times but< i don’t want anybody to try it as many times as i have so far but propley won’t try again……..we’ll mabe for a long time.i still think about it 24.7 but do what i can to advoid thouses thoughts.
I’am 21 now.so yes i drink now and go to bars.my 21st […]
This feeling of emptiness is swallowing me whole. My depression is getting worse and now the thoughts are taking hold in my mind, they are forming ideas and shaping into reality.
I hate these feelings. I see suicide as a relief. Something that would take the pressure out from my stupid life and give me a sense of comfort. I want to be relieved. I want to disappear. I want to die.
“The Suburbs”
In the suburbs I
I learned to drive
And you told me we’d never survive
Grab your mother’s keys we’re leavin’
You always seemed so sure
That one day we’d be fighting
In a suburban war
Your part of town against mine
I saw you standing on the opposite shore
But by the time the first bombs fell
We were already bored
We were already, already bored
Sometimes I can’t believe it
I’m movin’ past the feeling
Sometimes I can’t believe it
I’m movin’ past the feeling again
Kids wanna be so hard
But in my dreams we’re still screamin’ and runnin’ through the yard
And all of […]
I feel like that again. Like all I can do is cry. And be depressed. And hate myself. My tears feel like razor blades. My heart aches. Yet again, I’m not who I seem to be. I’m empty. I’m scared… I want to be gone, so no one has to deal with the pathetic excuse for a person that I am. And so I can be done with this. Disgust is the only thing I see in myself. I’m the one who made myself like this. And there is no way to fix me. I depend on pills to keep me alive, to numb my […]
I feel so lost, empty, broken…. Frozen… My story is a complicated one, and may seem silly, or tragic, or maybe I’m not seeing what really is here. I’m sick of the hate and small minds of this world, so don’t any of you creatures say anything evil, and open your minds to try and understand this…
I’m one of the most understanding people in this world, full of light, acceptance, true heart and everything thats good, and truly know whats REALLY right from wrong. Growing up, I had the perfect life, amazing friends who I loved, great family, even though sometimes I was a brat, […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†[…]
I decided I better tell my full story so people inderstand me better:
I started self-harming about two years ago. I had an argument with my best friend and this set it off. It wasn’t a serious row; it was quite a silly one to be honest. However, I think this triggered off a lot of my self-esteem issues. I had a really hard time at school and was bullied a lot and I ended up finding it hard to get close to people. My feelings of self worth vanished again after the argument and in order to combat this I started to cut myself. Not […]
It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, how hard I’m cleaning, or sorting. It doesn’t matter how many times I walk up and down stairs, or when I water or tend the plants. Those waves. Those deep soul waves of sadness wash over my whole body.
I’m not crying but I feel like I should be. Tears must be still in reverse. My heart pauses for a moment. It sends a tremble in my arms and throat. A wave of sadness.
Why should someone so messed up crave something they’re not ready for? Love. I wish the heart would stop craving that it just doesn’t realize […]
Okay it’s me again and I’m feeling really stupid for bothering you with every wee thing, but I just really can’t cope atm. I have this problem: I tell the people that hurt me, my parents, those who’ve abused me all my life and who made me the wreck I am, everything about my feelings. I know that’s not smart, but usually soon after they’ve managed to bring me down enough so that I’m in a state of depression and anxiety, they’ ll want to ” talk” about it and they’ll even tell me they’re sorry, and especially in my Dad’s case that he ” […]
I thought I would come back to say that I did choose to not attempt suicide again – and in fact, I’m feeling rather good. The reason for this is that I was up all night googling to see if I could find anything to explain my actions, any form of disease or illness. I was unsuccessful, which is pretty much what I was expecting. However, I was watching the film The Big Bang with Antonio Banderas (not a fan of his but he was good in this), William Fichtner (most underrated actor of all time – give the man some leading roles!) and Sam […]
I’ve been glancing around — grasping blindly, I guess — looking for somewhere to vent, and it’s honestly made my sense of social distance worse. I suppose I shouldn’t say “worse,” since social distance isn’t necessarily a subjective feeling so much as an assessment of social place, but whatever.
It’s hard to feel connected to others going through depression and contemplating suicide, given what I’ve seen.
It’d be easier to explain where I am mentally. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying, and I’m tired of what I see. There are amazing wonders out there in the world and even hidden deep in people; I know […]
Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here and live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes and die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
So I’m begging you just let me go instead,
I know you can never forgive me but please just set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life’s not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the […]
Outside I’m happy
Inside I’m sad
Why can’t all of me feel glad.
Why can’t my happiness go deeper within
So my heart doesn’t feel like a sin.
A great big smile for u all to see
But behind the smile there is much pain with me.
I wish I could cry and realise the pain
instead this sorrow feels it must remain.
So I write my poems for u all to hear
But my life u must not fear.
The words must be said the feelings felt
Then the dark thoughts will hopefully melt
Everyday brings the same crap, everyday I wake up nauseous as hell.
Everyday I think about how I can successfully kill myself. My parents think I
need to be under medication, because I find it hard to express emotions and feelings when I find everything pretty shitty.
Any temporary happiness I have is always clouded with suicidal thoughts.
As each day goes by sleep is something I resent more and more. Truth is I hate sleeping because I hate waking up to another shitty day
in this existence.I live with the innate idea that if I was never born, I would be happier since I would […]
Everybody is sad
But no body cries.
everybody is down.
but all they do is lie.
everybody laughs smiles and hugs
but nobody loves.
everybody giggles
everybody is shyÂ
but deep down everybody
is breaking down and crying.
everybody sleeps and goes off into there dreams
but no body sees the kids who cry themselves to sleep.
Dreams are your utopia! The place you wanna stay
but when you wake up you wish your life away.
Going to school a hard thing to do,Â
especially with friends who don’t care what you do.
You’ve told them your down but they don’t care
they just sit there and stare at you blankly because
what your going through, they don’t understand.
Its hard to live
but its […]
I just want to know when I will be happy, why can’t it be now, why can’t I just know, nothing is ever certain. I hate this.I hate my cuts. I hate the scars, I hate my head, fuck I hate, so much. I feel sick.
You can call me Robert for now, even though that’s not my true name. You’ll never know my actual name, unfortunately, because I won’t be around to tell it to you. Obviously, i plan to kill myself, but you would be mistaken if you thought that i was sad right now. As a matter of fact,this is the first time that I’ve felt happy in years! Finally, finally, I have found a way to end myself; to put a stop to the horrible thing that is my mind.
Over the years, I have been plagued with psychopathy. I couldn’t even walk down the fucking street without […]
I Feel Lost, Confussed, BreathLess, & Its It’s Getting Harder To Right Down How I Feel Because I Can Never Find The Exact Words To Explain Any Of My Feelings, I Have Such A Great Life And A Loving Family But Yet This Feeling Always Seems To Creep Up On Me,..Honesly I Dont Know Where Or How Ima Go On With This…..