Frozen World

I feel so lost, empty, broken…. Frozen… My story is a complicated one, and may seem silly, or tragic, or maybe I’m not seeing what really is here. I’m sick of the hate and small minds of this world, so don’t any of you creatures say anything evil, and open your minds to try and understand this…

I’m one of the most understanding people in this world, full of light, acceptance, true heart and everything thats good, and truly know whats REALLY right from wrong. Growing up, I had the perfect life, amazing friends who I loved, great family, even though sometimes I was a brat, but I had true heart and knew if I was being bad or good and knew how to stay on the good side.

School was perfect, public school, almost every classmate was my friend, and I had the best friends ever, guys yes, and girls who I actually liked way back then, 4 beautiful blonds who I really liked, one especially, Megan. But anyways, thats all over now… Since just before high school, or a year before that, they all left, my best friends, just… left… Now at the beginning of High School I came true to my feelings, I didn’t tell anyone, cause I didn’t want any hate or bashing that I liked guys…

Sure, it got better after awhile, this one guy I liked who I didn’t know was gay or not, turned out he was, oh well. Years passed, sure I had my first kiss and did stuff, but everyone eventually just leaves, my friends in school, lovers…. my only dream, simple, is just to be with 1 guy forever, is that so much to ask?

I guess I did kind of find him, my Stevie. He lives in the UK, been together for 4 years and never met yet, he’s the most magical amazing true guy ever and has accepted everything about me, but as for money issues and distance, I dont know how we’re going to get together, does it work itself out on its own? I just dont know. He’s not here, my cousin roomate is a pathetic retard slob who doesn’t do anything with me, I miss my brother and parents who I’ve lived with my whole life, sure I see them every monday, but it gets lonely through the week with nobody to do anything with. I just feel completely empty, don’t know where things are going to go, just waiting, for something… I dont know what to do with myself anymore. Perhaps I’m overthinking it all and things are better then I think they really are, I dont know… Just feels so… frozen…

One final note, I truly feel I dont belong here, I dont think the same way everyone else does, why are people so stupid, evil, hateful? I just dont understand what goes through their small pathetic minds? It’s not hard to know whats right and wrong. Two people together is NOT wrong, no matter what gender, how the Hell is that wrong? Its hurting nobody, it wont hurt the population at all or anything, I dont understand people primitive views at all… I feel like I’m a fallen angel or something, perhapos come here and restore order and destroy the foul evil minds of these pathetic humans… I’d love to grow wings, that would be great, then I could fly to my Stevie. Just sick of this hate that doesn’t need to be here…. STOP IT!!!