I don’t know if I’m full-on suicidal. But I like the feeling of a blade on my skin, the blood running down my ankle, my neck, my arm, whatever it may be. I like the numbness it brings. Maybe that’s why I cut, to bring on the feeling that makes sure I can keep going for another day. But I was found out when I actually cut a word on my wrist. My docs blamed it on a medication I was taking, but I know better. Are any of you scared someone will find out that you’re suicidal, if people don’t know? Are you scared […]
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find
I always find that talking helps so much, to anyone. So i guess i just wanted to say if anyone wants to talk at all about anything at all comment and we will find a way to talk. I can’t say i will give you advice, or even promise that talking to me will help, but i wont judge or give hate and hopefully we can help each other. Let me know.
I overdosed about 3 months ago and was involuntarily baker-acted. That was when my family became aware of the magnitude of my bipolar type II disorder.
I have battled with mental illness most of my adult life. Things have gotten worse.
I am about to turn 50. I had a successful career where I made very good money. I worked in publishing, an industry that is all but dead. I had a nice house, a couple of cars, a boat. Things weren’t perfect, but they were OK. Then I left my job to work from home on my wife’s business, and take care of my newborn daughter. Long […]
http://faithtap.com/1186/an-and-rias-first-flight/?a=1
I had to admit that video made me smile. It makes me wonder how people enjoy life so much, find the urge to continue to live. It makes me feel bad for wanting to die.
It may be more accurate to say I’m looking for a soul-healer. I don’t mean anything religious, but back in the time of the ancient Greeks, people would go to a philosopher to discuss the troubles of life, the troubles of the soul, in an attempt to find meaning or peace or whatever. But in today’s world soul-healing is now psychology and falls under the purview of medicine and the law.
Ideally, the client/therapist relationship should be a safe place for the client to talk to the therapist about anything. I believe that the only way the client/therapist relationship can work is if the client can […]
I have never shared my story before,
I’m now 24, the 24 years of my life have been the worst, raised in a well off family I had my emotional needs neglected from an early age, suffered abuse from from my family and depression all through high school. Thinking back I can only remember feeling alone and afraid.
It wasn’t always bad, after finishing highI school, I worked full time for a few years, but I could tell something was missing, I had not and still to this day have not  had emotionally intimate relationships. I don’t know how to establish or maintain them, nor do I […]
I want to disappear.
I’m sick of this life and the people in it. I want to slip out quietly through the back door and start over somewhere new where no one knows me. Â I want to travel the world and find the place the I’m the happiest, a place that actually needs me.
I need to know that there is someone else out there who has been molested, or sexually abused, or whatever you want to call it. I know there is somebody else, I just can’t find them.
Final frontier and the music is sooooooo beautiful.
I need to find the way. Go- go- go, little parasect.
Let me summon my inner pokemon spirit.
Go- go- go, little parasect. You the living so fast.
Wait for the muk! Wait for the muk!
Singing to the melody. Butterfree- oh butterfree.
The pokemon and the zodiac race. Charizard was the first.
Ponyta, how do we cross the ocean. To the mystic fire mountain!
Be ready! You must be level fifty! Run run run!
What about Machoke and Rhydon?
What about Machoke and Rhydon. I wonder.
Rock Pokemons, we must travel South! It is where our earth auras […]
Come on in!
Have a seat, i hope you like the people you’re about to meet.
First we have this girl, you see is kinda a geek.
This girl likes to read, she’s not out-going but she isn’t meek.
Then we have another girl, tall and proud she stands.
Guess again, she’s scared that people find the secret she hides.
She prays no one knows.
We now have a broken one, some of you may know-
This girl’s soul is so blacken and cold.
She doesn’t care that you’re even there.
She doesn’t want someone to hold, she just wants it all to end.
Scaredy cat girl, afraid […]
Is exactly how I envisioned it would be as a child. Fun things suddenly become boring.. days go by slower with less to do, people get angrier and stop caring about you. More and more of my day is devoted to being sad. I’m forced to do things I don’t want to with people I don’t like. Life chooses winners and losers. I’ve spend so much time trying to find a sense of meaning in anything, anywhere. Hope is a crutch for children  – bowing and bending until it shatters under the weight of your grief and pity fucking sadness. I don’t know how any of you find your way out […]
As a mmo gamer I find myself tragically stuck in the role of tank. I can’t help but feel life beats on me a little more than others. It is selfish to think that way, because everyone is fighting their own battles, playing their own parts, but sadly I think I am just to perfectly fitted to this part. My nature is to protect, to take the first hit, the last, and each one in between. I feel like I care far too much to fit in properly in this day and age. The only thing I want is to help people smile, and to […]
How does one find hope when having a terminal disease? How can one withstand all the pain it causes while knowing it’ll never end – only gradually evolves, gets worse and finally eats you alive? Is hope even a slightest of possibility?
Expecting a miracle perhaps gives something to keep one’s head up. But preferably person just has to accept the facts; this really was perhaps my unjustified destiny and the clock is ticking ever faster like it has for so many people before me. Fear, tears, a mountain of hopelessness and beside me a conjurer of never-ending agony and despair.
Where do those people […]
I’m bound to this earth with the feeling of regret from past events. My family doesn’t make the fact that i hate every part of my being any better. Sometimes i wonder, Why didn’t my mom leave my drunk dad? I mean she could have left him and spared my childhood memories from this twirling downward spiral of pain. I just wish i could have had a better time growing up. I only had One life, One childhood, One family….i could have had a chance at being happy if my mom left him……Happiness? What the fuck is the feeling of “True happiness”, someone please explain, […]
It seems as I get older, life just gets worse. Reality becomes more…well, real. I don’t know if I sound crazy or if anyone else out there wants/thinks the same as me but tbh I really just want to live in a beautiful fairy land where no bad happens, no lies, cheating, murders, etc.
I want to go somewhere far far away from reality and this evil world full of evil people who don’t give a damn about anything! I do not belong here, my soul has never belonged in such an evil place. I am so different to everyone I know and meet:/ I […]
Now at 23, this summer will mark a full decade of long standing depression, at least from the clinical diagnosis. I can’t remember my emotions any younger than that, since my upbringing was filled with abuse and solitude. I find myself wondering, is this it? Year after year I find myself surprised at how time passes and the fact that I’ve managed to unhappily  live through another year. And it scares me. Will I just be floating on through life like this until I’m forty, fifty, sixty?
Though I’ve only been in treatment (meds, psychologists, hospitals) Â for five years, I don’t know what more I can […]
A year ago I wanted to kill myself and I told myself I had to give it a year to see if that feeling remained. The time is up and it’s still what I want, I have a plan in place to make sure my cat is taken care of and that police/paramedics are who find the body. It’s a really good plan. But it is so frustrating to not be able to find any kind of solid information or resources on how to do get it done correctly. The things I found via Google seem so out of reach because they involve things I […]
Hi to all,
Well, it has been 14 months since got sick physically – could not exercise or do anything after a while; things escalated and got worse every day. Now just breathing is so hard, and can’t even move without having terrible chest tightness, stomach aches, dry mouth and other stuff.
Docs first checked me for some general illnesses and after they found not a thing; it had to be in my head, of course.
The thing is not like many here may have; I have a physical sickness which is killing me and the docs can’t find what seems to be the problem, and then the […]
A few minutes ago I read about a girl that was able to purchase a shotgun and use it the same day. If I didn’t have a record of an attempted suicide, I would have the patience to go through the process of all the paper work and time to be able to buy a shotgun.
I have a plan but now I am ironing out the details of who will find me. I really feel bad for whoever it would be. But i’ve decided it shouldn’t be my family. Â So it will have to be a hotel. Yet I am afraid of my suicide being […]
a few weeks ago. a new girl joined my school.
dang that girl. the only person i know that can give you the evil eye. ( without actualy giving you the evil eye) and when she gives you the evil eye. you feel like your being sent to hell ( mind the language).
but yet i still find myself atracted to her.
she hates my guts. 😀 she hates my with a pasion :-D. but still haha
you get what i mean RIGHT im not going crazy AM I? IF I AM. then yea im crazy lol